Daily Show Prep - Friday May 31, 2019

• Yet another mass shooting, 11 dead
• Trump announces new Mexican tariffs to stop illegals
• Oh, no! Avocados could get more expensive
• Homeless in Ca. moving to tree houses
• AOC, Cruz agree on banning lawmakers from becoming lobbyists
• Sponsors abandon Triple-A baseball team after video bashing AOC
• Barr says Trump is not 'shredding our institutions'
• Actors in Queens will spend 24 hours reading Mueller report aloud
• CNN thinks it's found evidence of obstruction by Trump
• Don Lemon slams NY Times for banning reporters from his show
• Glen Casada's aide calls public schools 'satanic,' Pope and Trump 'anti-Christs'
• Rumors circulating that John Bolton may be on his way out
• Disney threatens boycott of Ga. but partners with communist China
• NoKo executes another envoy over failed talks with U.S.
• Apple is getting rid of iTunes
• Russia cuts gay scenes from 'Rocketman'
• Principal accused of plagiarizing grad speech from Ashton Kutcher

Daily Show Prep - Thursday May 30, 2019

• Professor who picked the last 9 presidents correctly says it's Trump in 2020, unless Dems impeach
• Pelosi continues to resist impeachment
• Border agents apprehend over 1,000 illegals in record roundup
• Four Mexicans arrested crossing Canadian border
• Top Sheriff: Trump's done if he doesn't solve illegal immigration problem
• 94-year-old woman harassed by developers with codes violations
• How much do governments raise from property taxes?
• Third Republican blocks disaster aid in House
• La.'s Dem guv defies party, signs abortion bill
• Man who set himself ablaze near White House has died
• BernMe once campaigned for Marxist party
• U.S. money funding Chinese surveillance state
• Meryl Streep doesn't like the term 'toxic masculinity'
• Police: Jussie Smollett used Venmo to pay for drugs
• Rapper calls for killing white people
• Disney threatens to not film in Ga. over abortion law
• Study reveals Chevy Camaros involved in most fatal crashes in Nashville
• MTV reveals first 'sexually fluid' reality dating show
• FL woman charged with assault after Burger King denied her free fries
• Man sent to prison for urinating in a Memphis cereal factory

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday May 29, 2019

• Antioch church shooter sentenced to life without parole
• Dems infer impeachment from Mueller statement
• Man sets himself on fire outside White House
• Louisiana passes fetal heartbeat abortion bill, Dem guv expected to sign
• McConnell angers Dems with vow to fill 2020 SCOTUS vacancy
• San Fran Nan calls Facebook 'willing enablers' of Russians in 2016
• Trump energy officials refer to natural gas as 'freedom gas'
• Turkey frees NASA scientist after nearly 3 years
• Wall Street gets the jitters over possible economic downturn
• Ted Cruz slams Ilhan Omar for saying Hispanics couldn't qualify for merit-based immigration

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday May 28, 2019

• Mueller team denies discredited anti-Trump author's claim of drafted indictment
• Anvil Joe is the front runner, but where are the crowds?
• First ever private border wall built in NM
• China may restrict rare-earth exports to U.S.
• Trump sides with Kim Jong Un in calling Biden 'a fool of low IQ'
• Glenn Greenwald: Indictment of Assange blueprint for making journalists felons
• Americans outraged over robocalls
• Fed up Bellevue man shames panhandler
• Teen sneaked into Mar-a-Lago while Trump was in town
• WHO makes 'gaming disorder' an official addiction
• Taylor Swift promises to get political with new music
• NFL Super Bowl champ says he doesn't want reparations and he doesn't deserve them
• One quarter of Americans worry about money all of the time
• NFL Players Association warns of lockout
• OH weatherman snaps after complaints about his interrupting 'The Bachelorette'
• Guest: Comedian Michael Loftus on his 'Comedy for the Right' show at Zanies tonight

Daily Show Prep - Friday May 24, 2019

• Trump moves to escalate investigation of intel agencies
• Orders declassification of FISA documents
• Flashback: CIA spied on Brit Hume
• Giuliani falls for doctored Pelosi video
• Nadler falls ill
• TN guv signs voucher bill into law
• Lone Republican blocks massive spending bill
• Theresa May out as PM in UK
• NoKo says no more talks unless U.S. abandons de-nuke demand
• Four more women accuse Tony Robbins in inappropriate conduct
• Weinstein accusers settle for $44 million
• Rep. Omar accuses U.S. of 'atrocities' at the border
• AOC panics during thunderstorm, blames 'climate crisis'
• Trump rolls back Obama-era trans rules
• USDA recalls 74 pounds of Canadian meat
• Viral video shows man bathing in Wendy's kitchen sink
• Sperm counts down, some blame plastics
• RI house passes bill to prevent animal abusers from owning animals
• Passenger collapses after trying to strangle woman on plane
• Disney World employee charged with trying to lure child for sex
• Psychiatry Professor: Da Vinci had ADHD

Daily Show Prep - Thursday May 23, 2019

• China says trade talks can't continue unless U.S. addresses it's 'wrong actions'
• Pelosi says Trump is 'villainous'
• Says Trump's family needs to stage an intervention
• U.S. charges Wikileaks founder with publishing classified info
• 2020 Dems join striking McDonald's workers
• American Taliban has been released from prison but still sympathizes with terrorists
• Global warming: Snow in AZ
• Young people not saving because of climate change
• Actor Geoffrey Rush awarded biggest defamation payout in Australian history
• Couple who raised their kid as vegan jailed after child nearly starves to death
• Canada to take back tons of garbage sent to the Philippines after they threaten war
• Engineer trips on LSD after working on '60s-era instrument
• Smarter people listen to instrumental music

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday May 22, 2019

• Trump tells Dems to knock off phony investigations
• Nevada to ditch Electoral College for popular vote
• Hamas-obsessed man wanted to bomb Trump Tower
• Saudi Arabia to behead scholar who tweeted prayer of peace
• Feds to charge Avenatti in dealings with Stormy
• NY Times editor predicts almost all newspapers will die in 5 years
• Pentagon finally admits it investigates UFOs
• Toilet predicts if you'll have heart failure
• Guest: Eddie Scarry from the Washington Examiner says now is the time for Trump to peel black votes from Democrats

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday May 21, 2019

• Casada to resign as speaker
• Four in ten Americans embrace socialism
• Leaked documents reveal NASA's plans for a base on the moon
• AOC says the government shouldn't force people of color to grow cauliflower
• Nadler issues two more subpoenas for former White House aides
• NY legislature passes bill allowing state to prosecute despite presidential pardon
• TX house passes 'Save Chick-fil-A' bill
• Freak snowfall hits Denver
• Tesla stock could drop to $10
• Washington becomes first state to allow composting humans instead of cremation or burial
• Survey says Americans believe we should not teach 'Arabic numerals' 

Daily Show Prep - Monday May 20, 2019

• TN GOP caucus passes vote of no confidence in Speaker Casada
• Trump says it'll be the end of Iran if they threaten us again
• Debt collectors blast FCC's plan to ban robocalls
• Ford to cut 7,000 salaried jobs
• Trump responds to Amash's call for impeachment
• DNA tests show a third of illegals faked family relationships with children to claim asylum
• 41 percent of college students don't think hate speech is protected speech
• Conservative leaders call for social media to clarify hate speech rules
• Nashville scooter rider dies from crash injuries
• Scientists warn of the health danger of 5G
• Jeff Daniels: If Trump wins in 2020 'it's the end of democracy'
• Another false claim of rape gets someone killed
• Get your tickets to see Lt. Colonel Allen West at the Rutherford County Reagan Dinner
• Comedian Reno Collier at Zanies next week with Michael Loftus and Brian Haner, the 'Guitar Guy'

Daily Show Prep - Friday May 17, 2019

• Leading Republican lawmaker calls for Glen Casada's resignation
• Former congressman also calls for his resignation
• TN Firearms Association renews its call for Casada's removal
• Barr: Explanations about Trump-Russia investigation 'don't hang together'
• Says he's not stopping Mueller from testifying
• Says Pelosi's claim that he lied to Congress is 'laughable'
• Trump: Why wasn't I told Flynn was under investigation?
• Scooter rider critically injured in crash near downtown Nashville
• Bird scooters want to add more scooters to the streets
• Consumer confidence surges to highest level in 15 years
• MO moves closer to abortion ban
• Rand Paul and ambassador to Germany team up to slash embassy spending
• Man charged as serial killer in the country illegally
• Tony Robbins accused of sexual misconduct
• Study: Many Democrats exaggerated their mental distress after 2016 election
• Ca. thinking about banning gas-powered cars
• Doctors: Parents who raise their kids as vegans should be prosecuted
• Austrians told to stop French kissing cows
• Which guy has been on the longest sex strike?

Daily Show Prep - Thursday May 16, 2019

• Trump rolls out 'pro-American' immigration plan
• Plans to invoke Insurrection Act to boot illegals from country
• MO senate passes bill to ban abortions at 8 weeks
• De Blasio officially running for president
• Trump mocks him: 'NYC hates him!'
• Radio station rebrands as Trump 103.3
• More than 1,000 Nashville teachers stage 'sick-out'
• Police execute search warrant at Catholic Diocese of Dallas
• Trump strips Ca. of $930 million in high-speed rail funding
• Casada accused of using campaign donations to party
• Trump administration wants to reimburse Taliban for travel expenses to peace talks
• Cancer could be cured in the next 10 years, scientists say
• Supersonic plane: NY to London in 90 minutes
• Christ-like figure in clouds sparks religious frenzy
• Guest: Siraj Hashmi from the Washington Examiner says Americans need to know who they're dealing with in China

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday May 15, 2019

• Iran vows to defeat 'American-Zionist alliance'
• Rockets moved in range of U.S. troops
• Alabama guv signs anti-abortion bill
• White House tells House panel to get bent
• Barr meets Pelosi, asks if she brought her handcuffs
• Beto live streams haircut
• Americans unaware of soaring illegal immigration
• NM buses asylum-seekers to Denver
• Tootsies takes a stand against bums
• If you have a disability there's still a job for you
• By the way, the Census is now hiring
• Fast food restaurants in IL could start accepting food stamps
• U.S. birth rate lowest in 30 years
• Selena Gomez: 'Social media has been terrible for my generation'
• Julianne Moore wants Hollywood to institute gender quotas
• Brawl breaks out at sushi restaurant over wait time
• Dog joke lands Chinese man in jail
• Southwest passenger ejected from flight for joke about water
• Doctor accused of poisoning patients so he could show off saving them
• Police search for man accused of stuffing a guitar down his pants

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday May 14, 2019

• China calls for 'people's war' against U.S.
• Revolutionary communists descend on UCLA
• Barr taps CT prosecutor to review Trump-Russia probe
• Dems and Trump go to court
• FBI: Russians accessed voter records in 2 FL counties
• Elizabeth Warren turns down Fox News town hall
• BernMe's support among young voters drops significantly
• WhatsApp hackers install spyware on phones
• Another Tesla catches fire
• PBS cartoon 'Arthur' features same-sex marriage
• Kim Jong Un demanded to hang out with celebrity basketball players as part of nuke deal
• Tim Conway dead at 85
• Traveling carney admits to being serial killer
• Frat busted for hazing dog
• Face tattoo removal on the rise as regret sets in
• Men think about sports more than sex
• Guest: Jim Roberts from the Heritage Foundation says Trump's China tariffs are harmful

Daily Show Prep - Monday May 13, 2019

• The Empire strikes back
• Trump has not decided whether to place tariffs on remaining Chinese goods
• If China sells U.S. bonds, Trump will benefit
• Flashback: Mitch McConnell's China connection
• Iran commander calls U.S. military in Gulf a target
• Iran orders men not to look at women during Ramadan
• Another jihad camp, another dead child
• U.S. denies visa to top PLO official
• Hoyer says Trump owes Tlaib an apology over her 'calming feeling' remark about Holocaust
• Pelosi and BernMe also demand an apology
• Federal spending sets record
• SCOTUS rules against Apple
• Epidemic? Measles cases reach 839 for year
• Pesticides could be killing bald eagle
• Uber shares slide
• World's biggest brothel throws down challenge to sex robots
• New cinema has double beds instead of seats
• The movie Phil was talking about—Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon

Daily Show Prep - Friday May 10, 2019

• Trade talks with China in abruptly
• Stocks close higher after Trump says talks will continue
• NoKo's Kim orders stronger rocket power
• Experts see Russia's fingerprints on new NoKo missile
• Bolton holds secret meeting at CIA on Iran
• Louie Gohmert goes off on Dems
• Anti-Israel imam delivers opening prayer in House
• Farrakhan rails against 'Satanic Jews' in wake of Facebook ban
• Gov. Lee says if Speaker Casada worked for him he'd ask him to resign
• Lt. Gov. says Casada should go
• Now FBI is investigating to see if Casada or Cocaine Cade bribed lawmakers to get vote
• Giuliani urges Ukraine to investigate Biden
• Comey says Trump might be indicted after he leaves office
• Bezos unveils plans for space colonization
• Russia demands NASA answer for 'alcohol stench' on International Space Station
• Trump cuts power to Venezuelan embassy in DC being occupied by left-wing activists
• Beto wants to take the wealth of whites and give it to blacks
• Man attacked and then dies after girl falsely accuses him of sexual assault
• Christian women in Egypt told to cover up
• Least feminist nation is Denmark
• Study: Meditation retreats bad for your mental health
• FL man returns chunk of Stonehenge he stole 60 years ago
• CNN unwittingly debunks manmade sea level rise in story about a bird

Daily Show Prep - Thursday May 9, 2019

• FBI's Steele story falls apart
• Republicans rip their own over DJTJ subpoena
• DJTJ unlikely to comply
• NoKo launches new missiles
• U.S. seizes NoKo ship
• Analysis: China overplayed its hand with Trump
• Biden promises Hollywood he'll undo the Trump era
• April was another record month for illegal immigration
• Pentagon says 256 miles of new border wall coming
• Sanctuary city Oakland near broke
• Congress actually contemplating a pay raise
• Crazy: Laura Loomer makes the case for her own banning
• Facebook co-founder calls for government to break it up
• Global warming: Spring snowstorms break 117-year-old record
• Meanwhile, Ireland declares climate emergency
• Juul under fire for deceptive advertising
• Guest: David Horowitz on being accidentally suspended by Twitter twice
• David Horowitz's new book, Dark Agenda

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday May 8, 2019

• Casada lied to Valentine about left-wing conspiracy
• TN Dems call for federal investigation into alleged eavesdropping by Casada CoS
• Did the speaker's office try to frame activist?
• Trump asserts executive privilege while House Dems hold Barr in contempt
• White House: Not one Dem has bothered to read the less-redacted version of Mueller report
• Senate intel committee to subpoena DJTJ
• Pelosi: Jails would be overcrowded if we start arresting Trump officials
• Trump fires back at NY Times over tax story
• Dem candidates unveil more ways to tax the rich
• FBI: 850 open investigations into domestic terrorism
• Trump fixer Cohen says he helped Falwell handle racy photos
• Released sex offender tells hospital he'll rape first woman he sees
• Universities are purging 'offensive' artwork
• Anti-vaxx teen who sued his school for barring him now has chickenpox
• Average person mired in boredom 131 days a year
• Man chooses jail rather than remove 'I eat ass' bumper sticker from his truck

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday May 7, 2019

• Wall Street on edge over Trump's face-off with China
• Anvil Joe takes 32-point lead over BernMe
• Socialists go on the attack
• Mayor Pete: America never was as great as advertised
• Comey's in trouble and he knows it
• White House instructs Dan McGahn not to comply with congressional subpoena
• 57 percent of Dems think Trump's guilty of treason
• CNN contributor claims unborn baby is not human
• Venezuela's dictator danced on TV during military uprising
• Twitter removes account mocking AOC
• Twitter purge continues with suspension of David Horowitz' account
• Global warming: Ravers get hypothermia at techno festival
• NJ politician wants to ban all bags—plastic or paper
• Singer apologizes for 'worst national anthem rendition ever'
• Auschwitz condemns mini-skirts with concentration photos on them

Daily Show Prep - Monday May 6, 2019

• TN Speaker Casada's chief of staff admits to racist texts
• The plot thickens: Casada's chief of staff sent sexually explicit messages, Casada participated in some
• Casada's chief of staff—at $200,000 a year—makes more than Kellyanne Conway or Sarah Sanders
• Treasury denies Dems' request for Trump's tax returns
• Aircraft carrier sent to Middle East after indications Iran planned to attack U.S. interests
• Israel passed along intelligence to White House about possible Iranian plot
• Gallup: Trump's approval rating ticks up to new high
• DOJ negotiates with Nadler over more un-redacted Mueller report
• Strzok suspected CIA was behind inaccurate media leaks
• Illegal paid $130 to 'rent' boy to cross border as family
• Mayor Pete wants to debate Trump on gay marriage, even though Trump is for gay marriage
• Woman marries herself
• More TN teachers stage 'sick-out'
• Uber and Lyft drivers to strike in NY
• Hilarious! Bezos' newspaper busts Amazon for spying on you
• Starbucks cup spotted in Game of Thrones scene
• Woman shows up at CIA wanting to see 'Agent Penis'

Daily Show Prep - Friday May 3, 2019

• Jobs surge, unemployment drops further, wages up
• Hispanic unemployment hits a new record low
• Unemployment rate for women best since 1953
• Trump hits new high in economic approval
• Meanwhile over at communism's house: NoKo cuts food rations to record low
• Trump talks to Putin about Mueller report
• Sen. Graham gives Mueller the chance to correct Barr's testimony
• Biden brags about his time in 'the hood'
• CNN poll: Beto beats Trump by 10 points
• Journalism institute tries to blacklist conservative news outlets
• Christian persecution at near record levels
• Alabama rep. says DJTJ's mother should've aborted him
• Needle drop box installed in front of school
• Mohammed number one name for baby boys in Berlin
• Couple caught having sex in front of police station
• Diet drinks don't translate to low-calorie lifestyle

Daily Show Prep - Thursday May 2, 2019

• FBI set up Papadopoulos in London
• San Fran Nan accuses Barr of lying to Congress
• Idiot Steve Cohen eats chicken in hearing to mock Barr
• Facebook purges 'dangerous' websites from its platform
• Racists texts surface from TN Speaker Casada's chief of staff
• Casada responds
• Students demand removal of Thomas Jefferson statue
• High school may erase mural of Washington, says it 'traumatizes students'
• FDA: Sleeping pills may be putting your life in danger
• Buzz Aldrin: Time to plot migration to Mars
• Church of Scientology cruise ship quarantined after case of measles
• Lunch lady accused of shooting students with BB gun
• Man busted after Geek Squad finds kiddie porn on computer

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday May 1, 2019

• Mueller Report: Special counsel did not inspect DNC servers
• Barr dismisses 'snitty' Mueller complaint letter
• BSNBC interrupts Sen. Graham's statement to claim he's lying, which he was not
• Barr will not back off using the term 'spying' by FBI
• Private sector jobs surge in April
• NY Times editorial board blames Trump for publishing antisemitic cartoon
• Border Patrol releasing thousands who were exposed to disease
• Finally! DHS to start DNA testing to prove family connections
• TN school voucher bill headed to guv for signature
• Prosecutors investigating more parents in college admission scandal
• CNN rating plummet in April
• Alec Baldwin let's slip 'flyover country' to describe the little people not living in LA and NYC
• Assange gets 50 weeks in jail for bail breach
• Maine bans Styrofoam cups
• Study: Eating more rice could protect you from obesity
• Obesity overtaking smoking as leading cause of cancer
• Denver might give homeless the right to camp anywhere they like
• Transgender female—who is biologically a male—shatters women's weightlifting records
• Black professor says 'whiteness is terrorism'
• Florida teens lost at sea pray for rescue, get picked up by 'The Amen'
• Crazy 'doggy' rams bartender with car after being told he can't bring dog into bar
• Guest: Bill Pascoe from Tea Party Patriots on the Barr testimony, Trump's 2020 re-election campaign, 2020 Dem wannabes, and Anvil Joe