Daily Show Prep - Thursday February 27, 2020

• House Dems vote against saving babies born in botched abortions
• WHO increases global risk for coronavirus to 'very high'
• Up-to-date count on coronavirus cases
• How long can the coronavirus survive on inanimate objects?
• Stock markets continue to fall amid coronavirus scare
• Rep. Mark Green: It's ridiculous for whistleblower to say HHS agents were in danger
• Feds charge TN professor for ties to China
• U.S. to sign historic deal with Taliban to withdraw from Afghanistan
• Federal appeals court blocks Trump's 'remain in Mexico' policy
• Cuccinelli: Crime rate of illegals should be zero, because they shouldn't be here
• Chicago releases illegal wanted by ICE who molested a 3-year-old
• Dems try to intimidate Durham in Trump/Russia origin investigation
• Anvil Joe says he'll appoint first black woman to the senate
• No, Garth Brooks is not a BernMe supporter
• Barry Sanders asks Garth to be his VP
• Two-thirds of troops support allowing transgender service members
• Trump tells black supporters his approval in the black community should be 100 percent
• Tulane U. removes Victory Bell after learning it came from a plantation
• Rep. Cohen wants to increase penalty for vandalizing civil rights monuments, but not any other kind of monument
• Cars front man cut his wife out of his will
• De Blasio donor accused of $1 million scam in Ca.
• Twitter blue checks fake congressional candidate made up by teen

Daily Show Prep - Thursday February 27, 2020

• Dow plunges again over coronavirus fears
• AP confirms Dems are lying when they say Trump cut funding for coronavirus
• Phony health gurus are advising lethal vitamin doses to fight coronavirus
• Ca. is monitoring 8,400 for coronavirus
• Pope cancels event after showing solidarity with coronavirus victims
• Iranian spokeswoman for terrorists in 1979 has coronavirus
• Top medical official believes coronavirus may have started from eating cats
• Ex-FBI unit chief blows whistle on Comey, McCabe over warrantless spying
• Bloomberg has reportedly asked Yang to be his running mate
• Former Baltimore mayor sentenced to 3 years in prison
• Climate realists launch the "Anti-Greta"
• Hilarious! Libs in Congress rethinks ban on menthol cigs after restriction called racist
• Top-ranking Marine general calls for ban on 'Confederate paraphernalia' on bases
• Pedestrian deaths in America hit a 30-year high in 2019
• Polish woman goes blind after getting her eyeball dyed black
• Guest: Sean Spicer talks about his new show on NewsmaxTV

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday February 26, 2020

• Court rules Trump can withhold funds from sanctuary cities
• Trump campaign sues the New York Times
• Dems are trying to keep Nunes from getting to the truth
• BernMe given two more chances at debate to denounce Castro, he gushes instead
• Rasmussen: Trump leads Sanders by 7 in general election match-up
• Biden campaign walks back Africa arrest claim
• Biden claimed guns had killed 150 million people at debate
• Poll: Biden holds strong double-digit lead in SC
• Trump to hold coronavirus press conference
• San Fran declares state of emergency
• ABC suspends reporter who complained on undercover video about Trump coverage
• DOJ files amicus brief in Harvard discrimination case
• 6-year-old handcuffed and arrested for acting up at school
• Judge clears way for 'safe-injection' site in Philly
• Aussies erase heat record from 1920s so today looks hotter by comparison
• White supremacist charged with 'swatting' Trump cabinet official
• SNL's Pete Davidson regrets apologizing to Congressman Dan Crenshaw
• College student triggered when white choir sings black spirituals
• Study: Drivers of flashy cars less likely to let pedestrians cross
• Guest: Eddie Scarry from the Washington Examiner talks about his book, Privileged Victims

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday February 25, 2020

• Phil Valentine launches 'Two Minutes of Truth' podcast
• House Republicans considering criminal referrals against Mueller prosecutors
• CDC: Coronavirus outbreak in U.S. is inevitable, we should prepare for it
• Larry Kudlow says coronavirus has been contained
• Gowdy: Stop giving leaker Schiff classified briefings
• BernMe doubles down on Castro praise
• Miami sponsoring anti-communism concert
• Joe Walsh: 'I'd rather have a socialist in the White House than a con man'
• Fact-checkers can't verify Biden's claim of arrest in Africa going to see Mandela
• Trump and Acosta go at it again
• Wrongfully convicted man who spent 23 years in prison got only $1.5 million settlement
• Bob Iger steps down as CEO of Disney over his handling of Star Wars franchise
• Man breaks plank world record
• Voice of 'Apu' on The Simpsons quits, just can't do it any longer
• Trump doctor hid cauliflower in his mashed potatoes

Daily Show Prep - Monday February 24, 2020

• Dow drops 1,000 points
• Coronavirus not a pandemic...yet
• Trump's new intel chief gets smart and cleans house
• U.S. intelligence briefer overstated assessment of Russian 2020 campaign interference
• Biden claims the Russians don't want him to be president
• Mayor Pete gives 9-year-old advice on coming out as gay
• Anderson Cooper finally asks BernMe how he's going to pay for socialized medicine
• Trump mulls expelling Chinese journalists after WSJ reporters banned 
• Trump can now begin keeping immigrants out that can't support themselves
• Guest: RJ Hauman, FAIR's government relations director, on Trump considering increasing foreign guest work visas

Daily Show Prep - Friday February 21, 2020

• BernMe informed that Russians are trying to help his campaign
• Bernie's a Russian dupe
• Hillary and Dems resurrect Trump/Russia collusion hoax
• Trump says it's another 'disinformation campaign' by the Dems
• Somali community leader: Ilhan Omar did marry her brother
• Bloomberg offers to release women from NDAs
• Dana Rohrabacher denies claims Trump offered Assange a pardon
• Taliban #2 backs Afghan peace plan
• GOP internal polling shows BernMe may be toxic for Dems in swing states
• Former DIA analyst pleads guilty to passing top secret info to journalists
• Hung jury in Weinstein case
• Weird circumstances surround missing Idaho children
• Ca. guv: Doctors should be able to write prescriptions for housing
• Trump deranged couple drives boys on bikes off the road over Trump flags
• Woman tries to escape jail, falls through ceiling into trash can

Daily Show Prep - Thursday February 20, 2020

• Man who planted guns at new Nashville jail was a consultant for Bernie Sanders in 2016
• Roger Stone sentenced to 3+ years, judge says he was covering up for Trump
• Sen. Graham: Trump has 'all the legal authority in the world' to pardon Roger Stone
• But Trump says he won't pardon at this time
• Keith Ellison says he's never known a 'Bernie Bro' to be bad, Steve Scalise sends him a reminder
• Bloomberg's campaign spins his bad debate performance
• Trump leads every top Dem in Wisconsin
• The libs are crankin' up the Russian collusion hoax again for 2020
• Two Dems are trying to stop the government from rooting out Chinese espionage
• Mulvaney blasts Republicans for ignoring deficits and debt
• NY lawmaker wants to ban smoking in private residences
• Ca. lawmakers change 'at-risk' phrase to 'at-promise' 
• Sales of Make Kids Great Again spanking paddles triggers snowflakes

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday February 19, 2020

• Social Justice Warrior hid gun, ammo in newly constructed jail
• BernMe spokesman says Bloomberg had suffered heart attacks in the past, had to walk it back
• Poll shows voters concerned about candidates who have had heart attacks
• Mayor Pete defends his gay marriage saying he never had to pay off a porn star
• Klobuchar accused of 'Hispandering'
• Assange lawyer claims Trump offered his client a pardon in exchange for hacking testimony
• Congressman at center of story denies promising a pardon on Trump's behalf
• We knew about a possible deal 3 years ago
• Flashback to August of 2017
• Sen. Murphy confesses to secret meeting with Iranians
• AOC: Billionaires should not exist
• Trump touts campaign promise to divert more water to Ca. farmers
• Utah senators pass bill to decriminalize polygamy
• Republican Party office in Milwaukee vandalized
• Va. Dems expected to pass law forcing Christian schools to house gay couples
• Spielberg's daughter launches porn career
• MAGA dog wins 'best of show' on Today Show

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday February 18, 2020

• Trump pardons or commutes several high-profile sentences
• Trump has 'total confidence' in Barr
• White House budget cuts funding for green agenda
• Trump says he knows identify of infamous 'Anonymous' White House leaker
• Bloomberg goes after BernMe
• BernMe fights back
• Mayor Pete works with 'Queers Against Pete' protesters
• Cory Booker's girlfriend comes out as GBLT
• Soros says Zuckerberg is about to get Trump re-elected
• Britain's NHS could deny service if you're deemed racist or homophobic
• Boy Scouts file for bankruptcy
• Woman called 911 to complain parents shut off her cellphone service...she's 36
• Soccer player suspended for 5 years for biting opponents penis
• Topless protester crashes BernMe rally

Daily Show Prep - Friday February 14, 2020

• DOJ drops probe into Andrew McCabe
• Roger Stone's lawyers ask for new trial
• Russian pranksters trick BernMe into talking with 'Greta'
• Dems worry about BernMe getting the nomination
• Creepy porn lawyer guilty of extorting money from Nike
• Pentagon secures $3.8 billion to build 177 miles of border wall
• FL committee passes version of E-Verify
• AL lawmaker proposes mandatory vasectomies
• 64,000 cases of coronavirus in China
• Pink Floyd's Roger Waters calls Trump 'mass murderer'
• School district abandons letter grading to avoid stress
• 13-year-old who claimed she got pregnant by a 10-year-old now says she was raped by a 15-year-old
• Apple engineer killed in Tesla crash had complained about autopilot malfunctioning

Daily Show Prep - Thursday February 13, 2020

• Barr on Trump: It's time to stop tweeting about DOJ criminal cases
• Jury foreman in Roger Stone case was Trump-hating Russia collusion hoaxer
• Swalwell: Impeaching Trump over Roger Stone tweets 'not off the table'
• Manchin not ruling out endorsing Trump
• Ex-White House chief of staff says Vindman followed procedure
• BernMe feuding with James Carville
• Deal reached on Nashville MLS stadium
• TN GOP lawmakers push back against 3-day tax-exemption for tampons 
• YouTube removes clip of Rand Paul speaking on Senate floor
• Racist student tells white folks they have to leave
• Michelle O bellyaches about how hard it is to be a black woman
• California school drops 'racist' Woodrow Wilson name, become Michell Obama Elementary
• CDC confirms 15th case of coronavirus
• Hope Hicks returning to White House
• GOP leadership starts to capitulate on global warming
• Woman punches man in face for wearing 'Make Fifty Great Again' hat

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday February 12, 2020

• 6 in 10 Americans say they're better off than they were 3 years ago
• Senate moves ahead with probe of Biden and Ukraine
• Trump goes off on Roger Stone prosecutors
• Barr to testify before the House Judiciary Committee
• Trump advisor denies Vindman was ousted because of retaliation
• Deval Patrick? Out
• Yang? Out
• Steyer? He's staying. For now.
• Va moves bill that would award all electoral votes to winner of popular vote
• U.S. has reduced CO2 without Paris climate agreement by moving to natural gas
• High rise homeowners wanted museum viewing platform closed because people were looking in their windows
• A school called police after kindergartner with Down syndrome made a finger gun
• Guest: Eddie Scarry from Washington Examiner on where the Democrat nominating process is going after New Hampshire

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday February 11, 2020

• Biden pulls out of NH early
• College student Biden called 'lying, dog-faced pony soldier' in jest felt 'humiliated'
• Jussie Smollett indicted for faking attack
• Guv Lee backs letter with Nike to fight bill that would protect women's sports against transgenders
• Guv, mayor, racing officials meet about fairgrounds
• Rudy says 3 Ukrainian officials ready to testify that whistleblower meddled in 2016 election
• Sen. Graham won't be deterred from asking about whistleblower
• All four prosecutors in Roger Stone case resign after DOJ intervenes
• Trump moves to cap civilian government workers' pay at 1 percent
• Russian Antifa members sentenced to 6 to 18 years in penal colonies
• AG Barr blames 'rogue DAs' for rise in crime in big cities
• DOJ indicts Chinese military officers in massive data breach
• Global warming alert: It's snowing in Baghdad
• Dwyane Wade opens up about 12-year-old boy who wants to be called a girl
• Remains of woman who disappeared dumpster diving found in landfill
• 'The Hunt' gets new release date after elites killing deplorables plot sparks outrage
• Woke comic book movie bombs
• Thief drops journal with list of homes to hit

Daily Show Prep - Monday February 10, 2020

• AG Barr says he's reviewing Giuliani allegations about Ukraine
• Barr to crack down on sanctuary cities
• Trump fires 70 Obama holdovers at NSC
• Biden calls woman 'lying dog-faced pony soldier'
• BernMe claims he'll create far more jobs than Trump
• Man drives van into tent where GOP was registering voters
• More Chinese doctors claim backlash for sounding coronavirus alarm
• Putin critic found dead with throat slit
• Rashida Tlaib arrested at pro-union protest
• Tlaib and Omar hold hands during 'triggering' moments of SOTU
• Dems panic as Trump's popularity with blacks increases
• Prosecutors want 9 years for Roger Stone
• BBC to air propaganda piece on global warming featuring Greta
• Classical architecture is now racist because Trump likes it
• Just the News, the John Solomon site Phil was talking about
• James West is dead at 84

Daily Show Prep - Friday February 7, 2020

• Sondland fired
• Lt. Col. Vindman escorted from the White House
• FBI had multiple informants on Trump campaign
• Mayor Pete keeps narrow lead with 100 percent of precincts reporting in Iowa
• Warren continues to repeat lie that she was fired from teaching job because she was pregnant
• Royal Caribbean bans guests from China
• NY to sue Trump for suspending their Global Entry eligibility
• Federal court slaps down Dem's lawsuit against Trump
• MLS gives Nashville ultimatum
• Milwaukee teacher placed on leave after calling Rush's cancer diagnosis 'awesome'
• Man with serious TDS wants to slash Republicans' throats
• Joe Walsh ends his race against Trump
• Apple fined for slowing down old iPhones
• Minister to sue NFL over halftime show
• Woke college students think there are too many honky Oscar nominees
• Scientist creates sex doll for sea turtles to test mating habits

Daily Show Prep - Thursday February 6, 2020

• Trump show off 'only good headline I've ever had in the Washington Post'
• Trump has fun with Jim Jordan
• Calls Russia investigation 'bulls**t'
• Matt Gaetz files ethics complaint against Pelosi for tearing up Trump's SOTU speech
• Congressman troll Pelosi with fake tweet
• House votes against admonishing Pelosi for childish stunt
• Pelosi says Trump was drugged for speech
• AP can't call a winner in Iowa because of irregularities
• Sanders leads in new national poll
• Same billionaire who funded Russian disinformation campaign in AL funded voting app in Iowa
• DNC chairman calls for recount in Iowa
• Yang fires dozens of staffers
• Trump pops another terrorist
• BuzzFeed says Trump administration holding up arms sale to Ukraine
• AG Barr directs FBI to get his permission before investigating any 2020 candidates
• Key witness told Team Mueller that 'black ledger' used to nab Manafort was fabricated
• Sen. Johnson presses Pompeo for missing info in Hillary e-mail investigation
• Have real Chinese coronavirus numbers been leaked?
• Chinese man catches coronavirus within 15 seconds of standing next to infected woman
• TN bill would charge parents, doctors with child abuse for allowing kids to have sex change
• New Yorkers blocked from Global Entry program because they give drivers licenses to illegals
• Cuccinelli: NY reintroduced 'the main problem' that caused 9/11
• Trump administration finalizes plans to drill on federal land
• How Big Tech reshapes politics by censoring conservatives
• Trump's trade guy fumes when Bezos brushes him off at party over Amazon selling fake merchandise from China
• B&N publishes classic novels with black characters instead of white, accused of black face
• FL woman tases her husband after he tells her he's leaving her

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday February 5, 2020

• Trump acquitted
• Libs vow revenge
• Romney votes to convict Trump
• Flashback: Romney's foreign policy advisor joins board of Burisma
• Here's the Romney connection
• Alabama's Doug Jones is toast
• Joe Manchin pushing for censure instead
• Trump dismisses notion by Sen. Collins that he's learned from impeachment
• Pelosi possibly cements win for GOP in November with childish stunt
• SOTU guest has message for Pelosi
• Pelosi 'pre-tore' speech pages for her TV stunt
• Turley: Pelosi should resign
• Rashida Tlaib was 'triggered' by Trump's mention of Kavanaugh
• Ratings down 20 percent for SOTU
• Private sector jobs increase by 291,000 in January
• Iowa vote count drags on
• Two Milwaukee Democratic Convention host leaders fired amid allegations of 'toxic workplace' environment
• ESPN's Sage Steele under attack for criticizing airport protesters
• Coronavirus tanks Tesla stock
• After 16 years and 4 DUIs ICE comes calling on illegal alien
• Dirt people now think so-called 'king tides' are evidence of global warming
• Liz Warren flies in private jet
• Sign language lady at Super Bowl complains of scant TV time
• Woke Starbucks campaign encourages sex changes for teens
• Former Titans player, wife mistaken for Bradys which fueled rumor

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday February 4, 2020

• Iowa Dems blame app for voting chaos
• Iowa voter wants to change her vote after learning Mayor Pete is married to a man
• Investors scramble to distance themselves from voting app company responsible for Iowa chaos
• Shadow got money from Mayor Pete and Anvil Joe
• How the Iowa caucus works...or doesn't
• Rand Paul outs whistleblower on Senate floor
• Rudy says Trump should 'absolutely' keep investigating Biden
• Trump hits record high approval in Gallup poll
• White House excludes CNN for SOTU lunch
• At least 7 Dems will boycott SOTU
• KY senate passes bill banning sanctuary cities
• Glen Casada launches re-election bid
• Beach Boys founder Brian Wilson encourages fans not to attend Beach Boys concert featuring DJTJ
• Elementary school plays 'The Lion King' movie for fundraiser, had to pay a third to Disney
• Drunk man calls cops 25 times looking for lost hoodie
• University gift shop displays ornaments of black leaders, complaints they're being hanged
• Shoplifter hit by car after stealing from Bloomingdale's
• Guest: Marion Smith from Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation says China is lying about the coronavirus

Daily Show Prep - Monday February 3, 2020

• Rush Limbaugh diagnosed with advanced lung cancer
• Ted Cruz: Elizabeth Warren delivered the last two votes against calling witnesses
• House managers resort to quoting Professor Dumbledore
• Trump hasn't spoken to Pelosi since October 'meltdown'
• Jill Biden says she's no longer friends with Lindsey Graham
• Joe kisses granddaughter on the lips during Iowa rally
• Sanders/AOC bill would outlaw fracking
• Trump says BernMe is a commie
• Bloomberg rises to third-place tie with Warren in national poll
• Warren transferred oil and gas royalties to her children
• Warren staffer irked by her obsession with gender pronouns
• Coronavirus death toll in China surpasses SARS
• Virus hurting iPhone's supply chain
• Why central banks may not be able to save China's economy from coronavirus
• KC Chiefs coach Andy Reid accepts Trump's White House invitation
• Social media goes nuts over OJ being included in 100 best players tribute
• Backlash against Beyoncé and Jay-Z after they sit during National Anthem
• Leaked recording shows Iran knew they downed a Ukrainian passenger jet
• Greta nominated for Nobel Peace Prize...again
• The twin lives of climate hypocrites
• Jeff Bezos sued for defamation by his girlfriend's brother
• Butterfly conservationists are turning up dead in Mexico