Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 9, 2017

• NoKo promises to attack 'waters near Guam' by mid-August
• Guam's worries grow over NoKo threat
• Trump wanted to strike NoKo in 1999 before they got nukes
• CNN tries to freak folks out in Hawaii
• FBI searches Paul Manafort's home
• Former Lynch employee now helping investigate Lynch in senate
• 23 percent of all federal prisoners are illegals
• More than 1 in 8 Americans now alcoholics
• USA Today: You will get microchipped...eventually
• Ditch Mitch gains steam
• Senator suggests McCain's brain cancer may have clouded his vote on Obamacare
• Pot use increases your chance of dying from hypertension
• Wealthy actress Chloe Grace Moretz criticizes Trump women for their 'privilege'
• Uproar as scientist urges public to eat more salt
• Denmark has 'hug a terrorist' program
• Rise in conceal-carry permits highest among black women
• SoKo introduces first robot tax
• Cyclist robbing cabbies in Manhattan
• Scientology claims spike in hate crimes due to Remini series
• Doctor: Letting kids play football is child abuse
• List of solar eclipses
• Atlanta gym has no cop, no military policy
• E-currency coming just for Jews
• Art created to start conversation about climate change sinks into river

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 8, 2017

• NoKo now able to make missile-ready nukes
• Trump threatens NoKo Kim
• Documents reveal email alias for Loretta Lynch
• Spike Lee to rally for Colin Kaepernick at NFL HQ
• ICE arrests 32 illegal sex offenders
• Ford Funeral Home in Memphis fined for reusing caskets
• Google fires employee who wrote memo saying women were unfit for tech jobs
• Google CEO cuts vacation short to respond
• Dem senator says Trump is bullying him
• Al Gore calls on Trump to release climate report that's already online
• Glen Campbell dead at 81
• Dem rep has painting of Statue of Liberty with hijab
• Va. high school will decide honors classes based partly on skin color
• Clothing company tries to reclaim swastika for GBLT people
• De Blasio comes to work late, takes naps when he gets there
• Century-old Confederate time capsule opened in Florida
• Chelsea Clinton wants to rate movies based on gender stereotypes
• Amish farmer sentenced to prison for making herbal skin cream
• Expert of the Day: David Hirschmann on fake glasses for the eclipse

Daily Show Prep - Monday August 7, 2017

• NoKo ready to teach U.S. 'severe lesson'
• Gore Effect: Unseasonably cool temps ahead for August
• Gore's film bombs at the box office
• "Environmentally-friendly" cladding is an international menace
• Anthem leaving Nevada Obamacare exchange
• Obamacare is a success...at sucking large sums of money from the private sector
• GOP leans toward funding Obamacare subsidies
• Steve Forbes says Trump should reject raising taxes on the wealthiest
• NYC mayor wants to tax the rich to fix the subways
• Maxine Waters won't rule out an all-black party
• Professor lets students choose their own grades for 'stress reduction'
• The Hill: Can we get Elon Musk off government support already?
• States battle sanctuary cities
• Huck Finn movie to cause a stir for using n-word
• Indian guy gets into med school by pretending to be black
• Expert of the Day: Joe Lawler from the Washington Examiner on how the Obamacare repeal failure is giving Republicans a tax headache

Daily Show Prep - Friday August 4, 2017

• Lie detector tests on the table for West Wing leakers
• Record number employed in July
• House intel committee sent staffers to meet with Trump dossier writer
• DWS and the incredible scandal MSM want you to ignore
• Defiant DWS says she'd do it again
• Report: Comey and McCabe blocked the arrest of Imran Awan's wife
• FBI tracked fake news from Russia on Election Day
• Study: Canada's 'free' health care ain't free
• SoKo's spy agency admits to fixing 2012 election
• California kicks ICE out of state offices
• McCain to bring back amnesty when the senate returns
• Poll shows Trump-bashing not working for Jeff Flake
• Sid Blumenthal lashes out at Sen. Grassley over hearing comments
• Senate blocks Trump's ability to make recess appointments
• More than 50 Democrats want Mattis to ignore transgender ban
• Family of 'transgender' 8-year-old sue school for discrimination
• If everyone ate beans instead of beef we could save the planet
• Dirt people freak out over Death Valley heat record
• Company loses $2 billion in one year trying to comply with Obama's climate change agenda
• Wyoming judge who was punished for not performing same-sex marriages takes her case to SCOTUS
• Please. Former Facebook exec says society will collapse within 30 years because of robots
• New Bruce Willis movie ripped as 'alt-right'
• Government-funded park restroom cost $2 million to build
• Somebody please slap this guy!
• DC's Legends of Tomorrow invents Muslim superhero, gives her the real name of Isis
• Snowflakes turn to professional cuddlers. No, we're not making it up.
• Expert of the Day: Michael Barone from the Washington Examiner on the WV guv jumping from the Democrat ship

Daily Show Prep - Thursday August 3, 2017

• Mueller launches grand jury probe on Russian influence
• Someone leaked classified transcripts of Trump phone calls
• WashPo tries to make Trump's promise to clean up opioid mess 'bragging'
• Is DWS on the verge of resignation?
• Congressman claims DWS's IT guy may have terrorist ties
• H.R. McMaster says Susan Rice will keep her top-secret security clearance
• List of 173 ISIS fanatics poised to attack Europe found in Mosul
• GOP clash over debt ceiling looms
• Apple owns $52.6 billion in U.S. Treasurys
• GOP immigration battle brewing
• Denver city council proposes sanctuary city ordinance
• Rep. Gutierrez: Cruz and Rubio would not be senators under Trump's immigration plan
• Stephen Miller schools CNN's 'Accost Ya'
• BurnMe attacks Nissan over union vote
• Half of Detroits mayoral candidates are convicted felons
• Woman who encouraged her boyfriend to commit suicide gets 15 months in prison
• UCLA study: Pets causing global warming
• Bridal shop that refused to sell to lesbians getting threats
• Utah Republican offers bill in support of California secession
• What? Hip hop pioneer arrested for murder? No.
• 43 percent of Americans sleep deprived
• The first free summer camp for transgender kids
• Guest: Brittany Hughes from MRCTV on illegal asylum seekers turning up with criminal histories
• Expert of the Day: Jim Antle from Washington Examiner says Trump goes big on immigration

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 2, 2017

• Trump announces legal immigration overhaul
• Report: Kelly has convinced Trump to give up on wall, secure electronically instead
• Investigators find 'security risks' in military's immigrant recruitment program
• Coast Guard to defy trans ban
• Senate Republicans now openly defying Trump
• Al Gore's home uses 34 times the energy of the average home
• Trump signs Russia sanctions bill
• Doctor killed for refusing to prescribe opioids
• Justice Depts. redacts talking points on Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting
• Moderate job growth continues
• 'The God Players' comes to life
• Speaking of that: The God Players is on sale
• Judicial Watch discovers more classified materials in Huma's e-mails
• Comey has book deal
• Big lib Facebook has small minority workforce
• Silicon valley execs dine on gold-flecked steaks
• Movie studios fight back against Rotten Tomatoes
• HBO e-mails hacked
• Dems split over abortion issue
• NASA hiring officers to defend Earth from aliens
• Kid Rock leads in new senate poll
• Bees are back
• Will the solar eclipse break the Internet?
• OMG! Solar eclipse path overwhelmingly passes over Trump country
• Trump launches 'Real News' Facebook series
• Ray Lewis tells Kaepernick to focus on football, not activism
• Thief steals 1,700 pound of brisket...while it's cooking
• Major breakthrough in cryogenic freezing
• Cops arrest naked man using sex toy alongside interstate
• New bride pulls gun on husband from wedding dress
• More rednecks: Man assaults girlfriend with 'sex lube' when she refuses to have sex
• Expert of the Day: Daniel Garza president of LIBRE Initiative on GOP tax reform

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 1, 2017

• Sen. Alexander urges Trump to extend Obamacare 'stabilizations' 
• Dow jumps to record high
• Australia's weather bureau caught tampering with temperature readings
• Ethics watchdog files complaint against Wasserman Schultz
• GOP Rep: House IT scandal among 'all-time congressional scandals' of last 30 years
• More than a third of adults prescribed opioids
• Boo-frickety-hoo: Illegals in North Texas live in fear
• DHS expedites building border wall 
• Report says Scaramucci was hired for one reason: get rid of Reince
• Porn site offers Scaramucci $500,000 to oversee company's communication team
• JK Rowling apologizes for slamming Trump
• Kushner says Trump campaign was too dysfunctional to collude with Russia
• Bin Laden's son set to take over al Qaeda, wants revenge
• U.S. detects 'highly unusual' NoKo sub activity
• Cubs fan confronted by Gov. Christie challenges him to 'combat-style' fight
• Death grip of Venezuelan socialist dictator tightens
• Private I investigating Seth Rich murder alleges Trump colluded with Fox News
• Activists try to kill HBO series 'Confederate' before it begins shooting
• Inmates used peanut butter to fool jailer and escape
• Expert of the Day: Cyber Defense writer Michael Daugherty on the DWS IT scandal