Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 31, 2016

• Report: ISIS on brink of using nukes
• MS woman who tried to join ISIS pleads guilty
• China warns U.S. to 'be careful' in South China Sea
• Six shot, one dead at Greyhound bus station
• FBI director to personally interview Hillary
• Hillary says Trump is no New Yorker
• Feel the Burn? Not what you think.
• Police: Chick who got pepper-sprayed at Trump rally was not sexually assaulted
• PA Supreme Court says Ted Cruz is a citizen, eligible to run
• Kasich defends eating pizza with a fork
• Cruz tries to get Kasich thrown off Montana ballot
• TV anchor fired over 'racist' Facebook posts
• North Korea prison escapee says U.S. student faces grim life in 'Auschwitz' labor camp
• UNC diversity workshop says Band-Aids are white privilege
• Colorado mom pulls preschooler over same-sex marriage indoctrination
• This is socialism: Frenchman jailed for sending girlfriend gun emoji
• Another Uber driver charged with sexual assault
• Hospice nurses told to overdose patients to speed death
• Global warming? April begins with a Northeast snowstorm
• Female players accuse U.S. soccer of wage discrimination
• Colorado may crack down on fake service dogs
• Man arrested for doing yoga, meditating on airplane
• Sensory deprivation tanks are back in vogue
• French fashion mogul lashes out at designers who create Islamic clothing
• NASCAR driver busted in tobacco-smuggling sting
• Squirrel hunters trigger Arkansas school shutdown
• Expert of the Day: Wayne Crews from Competitive Enterprise Institute on Congress' regulatory budget

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 30, 2016

• Vanity Fair: Why Paul Ryan would be crazy to try and steal the GOP nomination
• Trump aide prosecutor is a Hillary supporter
• Border Patrol union endorses Trump
• Ann Coulter 'a little testy' with Trump over Heidi Cruz retweet
• Trump wants to punish women who have illegal abortions
• Priceless: Anti-Trump protestor gets maced after throwing punch
• Early GOP rules committee members eager to change rule regarding nominees
• Corporations nervous about sponsoring GOP convention
• Hilarious! Kasich eats pizza with a fork then flip-flops
• Petitioner behind allowing guns at GOP convention is a Hillary supporter
• NY Democrat primary rigged in favor of Hillary
• North Korea ready for pre-emptive nuke strike against the U.S.
• More than 80 U.S. companies join backlash against NC transgender bathroom law
• UVA rape hoaxer argues against testifying in court, says it would 're-victimize' her
• Boeing to cut 4,000 jobs
• Apple wants to know how FBI cracked their iPhone without their help
• Broadway's 'Hamilton' discriminates against whites
• Marquette U moves to fire professor for defending student's right to free speech
• Cool! Concealed gun that looks like a cell phone
• Scientists believe vegetarianism raises risk for cancer, heart disease
• Feds: 12 Detroit principals stole $1 million in kickback scheme
• Hollywood lobbyists come out against 'revenge porn' legislation
• 6-year-olds curse, spit on passengers on subway in Philly
• Paralyzed man who hired hit man to kill him survives the attack
• Why the government is redesigning the $10 bill
• Dreadlocks kid responds to appropriating 'The Colored Community's Culture'
• Expert of the Day: Columnist Rich Miniter says Brussels attackers were targeting Americans

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 29, 2016

• Trump aide charged with battery on a reporter
• Judge for yourself
• Flashback: She's got a book deal
• Teen thugs threaten to shoot Trump in rap video
• Scott Walker endorses Cruz
• Another judge grants discovery in Hillary e-mail case
• Facebook chief says spreading love can combat ISIS
• Thousands of Cubans crash border, given Social Security cards, food stamps, cash
• NC AG refuses to defend transgender bathroom bill in court
• German journalist says Western media are manipulated by warmongers
• EgyptAir hijacker described as 'an idiot, not a terrorist'
• Google solar project costing taxpayers $1.6 billion, doesn't work
• Judge: Defamation suit against The Coz can go forward
• Gore launches climate comeback
• The 'three-second rule' is a myth
• University cancels 'Vagina Monologues' because a white woman wrote it
• Please! Thigh-gap jewelry is now a thing
• TN guv proposes paying $8 million extortion to keep 'Nashville' in Nashville
• Expert of the Day: Matt Whitaker with Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT) and the Hillary Ethics Elite 8 Game

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 28, 2016

• Shooter at U.S. Capitol
• Who is the shooter?
• FBI to interview Hillary
• Steisand: Hillary fighting 'outright sexism'
• Reporter argues it's a higher bar to prosecute Hillary because she's running for president
• Former Bill Clinton lover says Bill snorted cocaine off her coffee table
• Manhunt back on for Brussels accomplice
• ISIS crucifies Catholic priest on Good Friday
• NY Times: Research yields few clues as to who will become a terrorist, word 'Muslim' only in article one time
• Priceless: ISIS fighter videotaping fight captures his own death
• Ryan moves stir White House talk
• CNN panel goes nuts over Trump advisor's talk of Muslim treatment of women
• Kasich pulling radio ads in Wisconsin
• NC guv sued over transgender bathroom law
• GA guv veteos religious liberty bill
• Smokeless tobacco banned in NY baseball parks
• Feds to fine schools for not following Michell Obama's meal plan
• Obama challenges kids to staring contest
• Student expelled for rough sex wins lawsuit against school
• Smuggler caught by border patrol 24 times sentenced to prison
• Expert of the Day: Phil Kerpen, president of American Commitment, on GOP candidates getting on board to lower federal regulations

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 24, 2016

• Shadow campaign to deny Trump his delegates begins
• Trump and Cruz feud over wives
• Carson distants himself from the feud
• Columbia U op/ed blames Brussels attack on Brussels
• Obama tangos amid calls to come home because of Brussels
• Priest kidnapped by ISIS may be crucified on Good Friday
• State Dept. issues warning to Americans traveling to Europe
• Border Patrol union head says arrests of Afghans and Pakistanis has skyrocketed
• U.S. charges Iranian hackers over cyber-attacks on banks
• Enrollment at Mizzou drops after Black Lives Matter racists mar school's rep
• And this is another reason why
• Researchers predict 'devastating consequences' from solar superflare
• Feds REQUIRE Exxon Mobil to let shareholders vote on climate change policy
• 8,000 violent fugitives arrested in massive operation
• UVA rape hoaxer doesn't want to answer anymore questions
• Cop ordered to holster his gun is shot dead
• Gun store owner refuses to sell gun to man with look in his eyes; hunch is right
• I thought everybody in Mississippi is a racist
• Jury rejects grad's suit against law school
• Garry Shandling dies at 66
• Rams made deal with NFL to draft first openly gay player
• Don't want to own a dog? Borrow one instead.
• TMZ sued for naming wrong rapper who cut off his penis
• Green Bay Packers QB discusses UFO sighting
• 12-year-old girl charged after pinching boy's butt in school
• Expert of the Day: Dr. Paul Bonicelli on Obama's trip to Cuba

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 23, 2016

• Belgium ignored Turkish warning of terrorist attack
• Suicide bombers were brothers, one deported from Turkey in June
• For what it's worth: This site says the bombers actually got away
• Flashback: Brussels ridiculed idea of Islamic violence in ad
• Too much of a coincidence? American Mormon survived Brussels, Paris, and Boston bombings
• Officials say Gitmo transfers have killed Americans
• Obama: 'ISIS not an existential threat to us'
• Obama: Singling out Muslims in wake of Brussels 'makes no sense'
• Foreign policy advisor downplays Trump's torture talk
• Trump, Clinton take Arizona; Cruz, Sanders win in Utah
• Jebulon endorses Cruz
• Monmouth: Majority of Republicans want to unite behind Trump
• Emory offering students counseling after Trump's name written in chalk on campus
• Arizona AG: Huge spike in money transfers on border to Middle East
• Court rebukes IRS for tea party targeting
• Rut-row: Sea level has been falling for last 6 years
• Spring blizzard forecast from Michigan to Quebec
• DC mayor blasts 'vicious' critics of new homeless shelters
• $250,000 a year salary could qualify you for subsidized housing in Palo Alto
• Man steals BMW he tried to buy with food stamps
• Expert of the Day: Lawyer Mark Paoletta on new HBO docu-drama about Clarence Thomas

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 22, 2016

• President Obama's Che moment
• Terrorist attack hits Brussels
• At least 9 Americans wounded
• Video: Two theories behind the black gloves
• Cruz calls for police to patrol and secure Muslim neighborhoods
• CAIR says tracking refugees is unAmerican
• Trump says we need to do much more to stop terrorists here
• Piers Morgan says it's time to start listening to Trump
• Beck: Evangelicals have not been listening to their God if they vote Trump
• Clinton slams 'awful legacy of the last 8 years'
• Experts see little chance of charges in Hillary's e-mail case
• Trump fears nukes, not climate change
• It's World Water Day (he says as he rolls his eyes)
• PETA begs Obama to use fake eggs for White House Easter Egg Roll
• Foster kid taken from foster parents because they're not Indian like her
• Were tennis tournament director's comments sexist or the truth?
• Sarah Palin signs on to new judge TV show
• Transgender bathroom bill dies in Tennessee
• Expert of the Day: Mark Meckler from Citizens for Self-governance on what the 'Establishment' needs to do if they don't want Trump

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 18, 2016

• GOP operatives meet to plan how to thwart Trump
• RNC rules committee has huge sway over who wins
• Blacks not turning out for Hillary like they did for Obama
• NSA now looking into Hillary e-mails
• Black Lives Matter calling for riots if Trump wins
• Obama-backed solar plant could be shut down for not producing enough energy
• China buys Sheraton and Westin hotels
• Texas game wardens looking for terrorists
• Battle rages over controversial names on campus
• North Korea releases video of 'crime' student committed to get 15 years hard labor
• Airmen at nuke base probed for illegal drug use
• Nina Totenberg asks Obama why he picked a white man for SCOTUS
• Disturbing social media photo sparks investigation
• Fiat drives into painting of tunnel
• Expert of the Day: Elaina Potts from the Heritage Foundation on the fight between Trump and the GOP

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 17, 2016

• Dems freak out over Trump
• Anti-Trump groups promise largest protest of the century
• Pro-illegal groups plan rallies this weekend
• The Economist says Trump winning as bad as jihadi terrorism
• Lindsey Grahamnesty endorses Cruz
• Oil headed back up
• Duh! John Kerry says ISIS responsible for genocide
• State Department is covering up violent crimes by diplomats
• U.S. Civil Rights Commissioner: Illegal immigration disproportionately harms blacks
• The Dalai Bama's SCOTUS nominee makes futile call on Senate
• Pink-haired waitress left speechless over message instead of tip
• Harvard students discuss whether whites should kill themselves over privilege
• Gay groups march in NYC St. Patrick's Day parade
• Dog lost at sea found on island 5 weeks later
• Man breaks things at pizza joint because his pizza was late
• Expert of the Day: Elizabeth Slattery from the Heritage Foundation on POTUS's SCOTUS nominee

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 16, 2016

• Delegate count
• Trump urges GOP leaders to embrace his candidacy
• CNBC: This is the end of the line for Trump
• NYT: Trump has open path to nomination
• Carson denies endorsement deal with Trump
• New Trump ad features barking Hillary
• GOP Official: We choose the nominee, not the voters
• Boehner backs Paul Ryan for president
• How women voted on Terrific Tuesday
• GOP debate cancelled after Trump declines to appear
• Cleveland poll worker pulls gun
• Obama's SCOTUS nominee has 'very liberal view on gun rights'
• McConnell says no hearing
• UVA student sentenced to 15 years hard labor for trying to steal North Korean banner
• Northeast braces for Spring snowstorm
• Top coal mining company could declare bankruptcy
• NY AG tells NFL to stop asking prospective players if they're gay
• Obama picks Kansas to win NCAA tourney
• Former Subway pitchman Jared beaten up in prison yard smackdown
• Natalee Holloway murder suspect confesses in Peruvian jail
• Ex-stripper judge found dead in Nevada home
• Gay, anti-capitalist devil worshippers declare war against campus conservatives
• Homeless man who spotted fugitives gets $100,000 reward
• Footage released of brazen prisoner escape from Canadian prison via helicopter
• Weenie Alert! College goes on lockdown after light saber mistaken for gun
• DJ fined for playing 'F*@k Tha Police' while cops raided bar
• Senator in self-driving car: 'Glad I grabbed the wheel'
• Missouri couple 'shocked' after trash company employee finds their $400,000 wedding ring
• Expert of the Day: Dan Kish from Institute for Energy Research on Obama's decision to nix Atlantic oil drilling

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 15, 2016

• BernMe still has life if he does well in Terrific Tuesday
• Chicago Cop: Anti-Trump mob more aggressive and destructive than reported
• Jerry Brown: If Trump wins, California might need a wall
• Trump hits critical threshold for nomination
• Peak Trump? Tops 50% in national poll for first time
• Trump could secure the nomination with a 4-point increase in white vote
• Trump left off ballot in Jupiter, FL
• Japan starting to freak over potential Trump win
• Grieving mom responds to Kasich's amnesty plan: Visit the grave of my murdered child
• Ben Carson may have commited crime by admitting why he endorsed Trump
• Ballotpedia ranks the candidates
• Obama rejects new Atlantic Ocean oil drilling
• DHS agency barred officials from detaining San Bernardino accomplice
• IG: Green cards 'may have fallen into the wrong hands'
• Obama drug policy creates conditions for cocaine epidemic
• Avon slashes jobs, moves HQ to UK
• Parents complain about 'The Producers' staged at school because of Nazi flags
• Harvard drops law school seal after complaints of racism
• Lyft driver arrested for DWI with passenger in car

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 14, 2016

• Idiot protester storms Trump stage
• Soros group behind Trump protests
• NC police may charge 
• Florida's AG endorses Trump
• Quinnipiac: Trump up 24 in Florida, tied with Kasich in Ohio
• Kasich's pro-illegal alien comments now come under the microscope
• ICE: 124 illegals released from jail later charged in 138 murders
• College students demand 'safe spaces' from Border Protection agents recruiting at school
• Hillary says she's going to put coal out of business
• Russia pulls out of Syria
• Former Yale basketball captain sues for being expelled
• Hilarious: KKK leader backs Hillary
• NYC cops hate their jobs under de Blasio
• Liberals upset with Maine guv's minimum wage wanter poster
• 90-year-old man charged in sex assault
• Gut bacteria could be key to fighting cancer
• Melissa Harris-Perry says her firing from BSNBC was racially motivated
• 134-car pile-up in North Carolina
• 61-year-old professor faces suspension for starring in porno movie with college-age women

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 11, 2016

• Rubio tells Ohio supporters to vote for Kasich
• Kasich camp offers a nasty reply
• Carson endorses Trump
• Hollywood conservatives and independents quietly line up for Trump
• Trump showing traction with Chicago Democrats
• Trump U students say they were pressured to give rave reviews
• Clinton IT specialist proving to be 'devastating witness'
• Caitlyn Jenner: 'Country is over' if Hillary is elected
• Genetically modified mosquitoes clear key hurdle for U.S. test
• Pope leaves Catholic conservatives feeling marginalized
• EPA spends $295k to track energy and water usage of office workers
• 'Modern-day Robin Hood' arrested for giving away $3,000 worth of free drinks at IHOP
• Patrons of Joe's Crab Shack complain of photo of lynching
• Dog Whisperer investigated for animal cruelty
• UC-Davis offers 'mind spa services' for students 'triggered' by pro-life display
• City trying to close coffee shop accused of serving up nudity
• Expert of the Day: Gayle Trotter on the SCOTUS vacancy

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 10, 2016

• DOJ has discussed pursuing civil action against climate deniers
• Obama admits 'I have the world's largest carbon footprint'
• Trump's former butler weighs in
• Ohio's blue collar Dems for Trump
• PA Dems switch to GOP to vote for Trump
• Voters reject Romney's advice
• Sen. Mike Lee endorses Cruz
• Former FL GOP chairman: Rubio 'pretty much finished'
• U.S. hands over ISIS chemical chief to Iraq
• Sky News obtains contact info for 22,000 ISIS members
• New technology may allow scientists to modify human genes
• Alabama continues to defy the feds on gay marriage
• Berkeley law school dean accused of harassment
• DC clears homeless encampment at Union Station, CNN staffer had bought the tents
• Those wacky Germans: Man traps winky in 13 metal rings
• Head scratcher: Hamas burns 15 tons of Snickers bars
• Expert of the Day: J.C. Watts talks about the 7 truths to finding strength within

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 9, 2016

• U.S. special forces capture ISIS chemical weapons chief
• BernMe gets the upset in Michigan
• Trump's easy victories, ask party to unite around him
• Displays steaks, water, and magazine to defend his business record
• Trump Steaks weren't Trump Steaks
• Cokie Roberts asks Trump if he's proud of white children harassing Hispanics
• Trump protester apologized for pushing Black Lives Matter protester
• The crazy plan to take the election away from Trump
• Rubio flaming out
• Republicans sue State Department for Hillary's e-mails
• Kansas City mass murderer is illegal alien who was previously deported
• ISIS warns America will be attacked 'very soon'
• Obama reverses position, demands greater oversight of Iran nuke program
• Iran fires 2 missiles marked 'Israel must be wiped out'
• Iran continues to back Hezbollah
• Army indoctrinating soldiers on danger of 'white privilege'
• Another Chipotle closes due to norovirus
• Tennessee grapples over bathroom use by transgenders
• Amazon founder says we're running out of energy and only have a few hundred years to figure this out
• Russian may be running out of oil
• This is what socialism looks like: Canada mandates half of state-financed films directed by females
• Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
• Most interesting man in the world retires
• Expert of the Day: Ana Quintana, Heritage Foundation's Latin America expert, on Obama going to Cuba

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 8, 2016

• Four primaries today, Michigan the big prize
• Poll: Mitt speech helped Trump
• Trump up 20 in Florida
• New WSJ poll: Trump up nationally by just 3
• GOP and tech leaders hold secret meeting to stop Trump
• BBB confirms Trump U had a D-
• Jebulon's brother backs Cruz
• Cruz supporter says it's 'critically important' that Trump's wife posed 'nude' in GQ
• Iran threatens to walk away from nuke deal
• Paula Jones: The truth about Bill's women would destroy Hillary's political career
• MI Mayor: DNC tried to kick me out of debate for cheering for BernMe
• Study: Carbs are bad for your lungs
• Video: Car barely misses hitting reporter
• Chocolate makes you smarter
• NYP OP/ED: Sensitivity fascists turning colleges into daycare centers
• Expert of the Day: John Hart from Opportunity Lives on why Trump may be in trouble

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 7, 2016

• U.S. drone strike kills 150 terrorists in Somalia
• Foreign diplomats voicing alarm over Trump
• Mexican prez on Trump: This is how Hitler rose to power
• Former Navy SEAL agrees with Trump on waterboarding
• Mark Ruffalo: BernMe Sanders would mop the floor with Trump
• A new PAC honoring the size of Trump's hand just registered with FEC
• Hacker who uncovered Hillary e-mails being extradited to U.S.
• Hmmm. NOAA data show no warming for 58 years
• Yale's basketball captain expelled amid allegations he raped his girlfriend
• Earl hits 3-month high
• Trent Lott agrees with Obama on SCOTUS issue
• White House back to normal after lockdown
• Students at UT interrupt basketball game to protest cuts in diversity
• WV legislature overrides governor's veto of permitless gun bill
• Feds spend nearly half-million to study 'relationship between gender and glaciers'

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 4, 2016

• DC psychologists treating 'Trump anxiety'
• High ratings for latest GOP debate
• NY AG says Trump U case pretty straightforward fraud
• Beck on Trump: 'If I was close enough, the stabbing just wouldn't stop'
• Jim Webb won't vote for Hillary, might vote for Trump
• Trump drops out of CPAC to campaign
• Scientists say finger size does correlate to winky size
• MS's first black mayor backing Trump
• Todd Starnes: Cruz rises to top
• Ben Carson officially out
• The path forward for the top three
• Kasich lays out his plan for a brokered convention
• Trump seems to have the only path
• Cruz selling 'Breathe' yoga mats
• Sanders' tax plan would hit middle class as well as rich
• Wages fall, exports at five-year low
• General says Air Force Thunderbirds too male, too white
• Mike Ditka: Obama is 'worst president we've ever had'
• Buried knife found at O.J.'s former estate
• Police say knife story could be bogus
• De Blasio credits less guns for more stabbings
• Hillary and BernMe want to do away with for-profit prisons
• Scientific paper saying human hand was designed by 'Creator' sparks controversy
• Yes, believe it or not, people like this are actually roaming the earth
• Senator Who? A CPAC tale
• Keanu Reeves firing range video goes viral
• Expert of the Day: Steve Guest, Daily Caller, on the laws Hillary may have broken

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 3, 2016

• Romney blasts Trump
• Trump slaps back
• Team Romney plots to stop Trump at convention
• Christie says he wasn't being held hostage
• Wow! More women voted Republican than Democrat on Super Tuesday
• But Rasmussen says women are voting against Trump by a 2 to 1 margin
• NY Post accuses Trump, Jr. of appearing on radio show with white supremacist
• But CNN actually had David Duke on their air
• Mexico says it ain't payin' for a wall
• Border crime taking toll on residents
• Rut-roh: Guy who set up Hillary's private server granted immunity by State Dept.
• Former AG lists all the laws Hillary may have broken
• Bill Clinton: 'This is a fun campaign because I don't ever have to say anything I don't believe'
• Indiana becomes 6th state to call for Article V convention of states
• Astronaut returns to earth two inches taller
• Now they claim snakes moving north because of global warming
• Man gives dogs makeovers to make them more adoptable
• Ex-Subway spokesman Jared gains 30 pounds in prison
• OMG! There's snow on Pluto
• Expert of the Day: Joseph Klein, author of Global Deception on the recent Iranian elections

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 2, 2016

• Ben Carson dropping out
• GOP leaders search for a way to stop Trump
• Bookie pays out early on Trump nomination
• Tavis Smiley: Blacks could get on the Trump train
• Lindsey Graham open to rallying around Cruz to stop Trump
• Mitt Romney to deliver 'major speech' on state of the election
• FBI director says he's closely involved in Hillary e-mail investigation
• Congressman says blocking of SCOTUS nominee 'smells of racism'
• Terrorist nanny says 'Allah ordered' her to behead child
• Another corrupt climate change huckster, called for jailing skeptics
• Crazy Melissa Harris-Perry out at BSNBC
• #OscarsSoWhite spurs diversity casting frenzy
• No more arrests for public urination in NYC
• This is what socialism looks like: French parents could be jailed for posting pictures of their children on social media
• Teenage boy opens fire on family for waking him up for school
• Ex-energy firm CEO apparently commits suicide day after indictment
• Baltimore school police officer on leave after allegedly kicking student
• Yale's climate change program runs out of gas
• Chick-fil-A offers free ice cream if you ditch your phone
• British company will allow women to take days off during their periods
• Expert of the Day: Ashe Skow, Washington Examiner, Trump pivots to Hillary

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 1, 2016

• Yes, it's Super Tuesday!
• David Duke says he never endorsed Trump
• Flashback: Trump reads Hitler's speeches
• Trump the top pick of small bidness
• Protestors removed from Trump rally because they were disruptive, not because they were black
• Romney calls on Trump to allow NYT to release audio of editorial meeting
• Rubio, Cruz battle for #2
• Top Rubio advisor braces donors for bad night
• Newly-released classified Hillary e-mails detail meetings with over a dozen foreign leaders
• NATO commander says terrorists part of daily flow of refugees into Europe
• Elon Musk at war with Warren Buffett over solar subsidies
• Crime Stoppers sensation Capt. Clay Higgins resigns after latest video draws fire from ACLU
• Former IPCC head charged with stalking, harassment
• Swingers Club may have to reveal guest list
• Expert of the Day: Sarah Westwood, Washington Examiner, What if Hillary's indicted?