Daily Show Prep - Friday September 30, 2016

• LA Times tracking poll: Hillary down 5
• Hillary's electoral lead continues to shrink
• USA Today: Trump 'unfit for the presidency'
• Debate commission confirms Trump's mic was faulty
• Newt: Miss Universe is Hillary's 'new Benghazi lie'
• Former Miss Wisconsin says Trump helped her in her darkest hour
• Dead people registering to vote in Va.
• Voters don't trust media fact-checking
• Hollywood Republicans (all two of them) feel under siege for supporting Trump
• Juanita Broaddrick fears for her life
• Judge Roy Moore of Alabama suspended for rest of term over gay marriage stance
• Near collapse, MN insurers up Obamacare rates by half
• Obama scrambling to pay health insurers
• Suspect in Texas killing was deported 3 times
• Judge: Brown U. railroaded student accused of rape
• Clown threat closes another school
• Conservatives get ratted out to university administration
• German lawyer makes hate speech complaint against Facebook
• Staffers at center for disabled say 'paranormal activity' to blame for abuse
• Man smashes every iPhone at Apple store
• Woman says airline switched her seat because Pakistani monks won't sit next to women
• College group cancels Speedo event because it's not inclusive enough for all body sizes
• Expert of the Day: Tim Alberta, chief political correspondent for National Review, on early voting in Iowa

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 29, 2016

• Train crashes into Hoboken station
• Mall shooter illegally voted 3 times
• Ca. officer guns down man in 'shooting stance'
• BLM activist says police never have justification to kill
• The truth about the Trump/Cuba 'scandal'
• Student arrested for wearing a gorilla mask to BLM event
• University to scrutinize Halloween costumes for racism
• FEC lays groundwork to ban Fox, Wall Street Journal political coverage
• Milo event cancelled after death threat
• Feminism's new frontier: Complaining about 'sexist' dog costumes
• Clown chases woman in Ohio
• Enjoy Earth while it lasts!
• Man caught on tape viciously punching a woman
• Expert of the Day: Matt Philbin, Media Research Center, fall TV shows full of lefty fantasies

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 28, 2016

• Senate passes bill to avoid government shutdown
• Congress overrides Obama for the first time
• Hillary in 'panic mode' over Florida black voters
• LA Times tracking poll: Trump up by 4
• Howard Dean stands by his 'Trump's snorting cocaine' accusation
• Fed challenged over Clinton ties
• Bill Clinton rape accuser has a message for Chelsea
• Man arrested for berating Sheriff Clarke on two-hour flight
• Sheriff consults with FBI and Homeland Security about clowns
• Orlando terrorist attack triggered by drone strike in Iraq
• Two mysterious men sought in NYC bombing believed to now be in Egypt
• OPEC agrees to cut oil production
• World's first baby born with three parents
• Study: Humans predisposed to murder
• Md. school adopts gender-neutral homecoming queen, king
• Tim Tebow homers first time up at bat
• Expert of the Day: Ed Martin on his and Phyllis Schlafly new book, The Conservative Case for Trump

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 27, 2016

• Hillary got no follow-up questions, Trump got 6
• Snap polls show Trump won debate
• Hillary loses ground with NC focus group
• Trump won over bar full of NY undecideds
• Time online poll declares Trump the winner
• Congressional Black Carcass slams Trump's performance as racist
• Hofstra U. provided trigger warnings for debate
• Senate blocks stopgap bill to fund the government
• ACLU representing NYC bombing suspect
• DOJ: Insufficient evidence to support federal charges in Memphis shooting by cop
• Illegals held in TN on child rape charges
• Obama sues Peter Thiel for 'racial discrimination'
• Did anybody tell this little girl the cop was black?
• FBI: Twice as many killed in 2015 with bare hands than rifles
• Four cited in Portland, TN clown hoax
• Roller coasters can actually help with kidney stones
• Expert of the Day: John Malcolm from the Heritage Foundation on Trump's SCOTUS list

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 26, 2016

• Frenzy builds for epic debate
• Voters think moderators will help Hillary
• Hillary gets customized podium to offset height difference
• Trump/Hillary tied in PA and CO
• Nate Silver gives Trump a 55% chance of winning
• Supporters rally behind man under fire for too many Trump signs
• Teacher reassigned after calling students with Trump gear racist
• Glenn Beck regrets Cruz endorsement after Cruz's endorsement of Trump
• EPA pushes out air-conditioning ban
• Leaked FBI data reveal 7,700 terrorist encounters in one year
• Walmart refuses to make policeman's 'thin blue line' cake because it's racist
• Suspect confesses to killing 5 at Washington State mall
• Man bangs on cockpit door, subdued by passengers
• Transgender 'man' gives birth to his/her own baby
• U. of Kansas bars gorillas from jungle-theme decoration because they're too masculine
• Expert of the Day: Gabby Morrongiello from the Washington Examiner about tonight's debate

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 23, 2016

• Cruz set to endorse Trump
• Hillary requests a step-stool at debate to make her taller, request denied
• FBI gave immunity deal to Cheryl Mills in Hillary e-mail scandal
• Government attorneys: Hillary deleted 2,800 work-related e-mails
• State Dept. convinces judge to delay more Hillary e-mail releases until after election
• Charlotte police shooting video from victim's wife
• Police cam footage leaves more questions than answers in Charlotte shooting
• Keith Scott shot at Texas officers in 2005
• Seattle Mariners suspend catcher for tweeting Charlotte protesters should be treated like animals
• Hillary heading to Charlotte
• Untapped Energy: Trump promises a $50 trillion economic stimulus
• Trump tells colleges: Cut costs or lose taxpayer money
• Kim Kardashian considering voting for Trump after talking with Bruce Jenner
• Professor predicts Trump win
• The dance begins: Showdown over shutdown between WH and Congress
• Book: Stop having kids to stop climate change
• Passenger sues airline over 9-hour flight next to fat guy
• Mispronouncing a name is now a 'microaggression'
• Australia is actually moving each year
• Customer throws cup of urine at McDonald's employee over cost of cakes
• School ordered to allow Satan club
• Expert of the Day: Dick Morris on his book, Armageddon: How Trump Can Beat Hillary

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 22, 2016

• Second night of violence in Charlotte
• One person shot, NASCAR Hall of Fame looted
• CNN reporter attacked
• Dash cam allegedly supports PD's version of events
• Man stripped, beaten by black thugs, caught on video
• Suspect's brother says all whites are f-ing devils
• Charlotte riots spark gun-buying spree
• Tulsa police officer charged with manslaughter
• White teens walking near Black Live Matter vigil in Ca. attacked
• NYC bomber's wife back in U.S.
• Rasmussen: Trump up by 5
• Alabama school apologizes for 'Trump the Tigers'
• Hillary proposes massive death tax rate hike
• Dr. explains Hillary's odd eye movement
• DefSec says Pentagon not involved in Iran ransom deal
• White House staffer e-mail hacked revealing schedules and Michelle's passport
• Cyber attacks on satellites could spark global catastrophe
• Kerry to reach milestone in air conditioning phase-out
• The 'fingerprint' of global warming doesn't exist
• Anthony Weiner under federal investigation for sexting with a minor
• Pope: Journalism based on fear-mongering, gossip a form of terrorism
• Mexico is using cannons to shoot drugs across the border
• Hawking: We must find aliens before they find us
• Rapper shoots man in dispute at video shoot—Imagine that
• Target targeted over OCD sweatshirt
• Man dressed as a woman upset at TSA pat down by male security officer
• Expert of the Day: Dr. John Lott on his book, War on Guns

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 21, 2016

• Nate Silver: Trump's chances of winning surge from 3% to 48%
• Defiant Ohio Dems flock to Trump
• Hillary missing from campaign trail
• Charlotte erupts in violence over shooting by police
• NYC bomber says he received instructions to kill non-believers
• FBI releases photos of two possible accomplices
• State Dept. admits terrorists posing as refugees
• Texas threatens to exit the federal refugee program over terror concerns
• Video: MN Muslims prefer sharia law over U.S. law
• London's Muslim mayor says terrorist attacks 'part and parcel of life in a big city'
• Colleges turn to coloring books to de-stress students
• NFL viewership down
• Poll: 44% likely will turn off if anthem protests continue
• New TV series coming that trashes Church of Scientology
• Chinese space station could rain down on Earth
• San Fran eatery charging $43 for martini made with San Fran fog
• Canadian mint employee accused of smuggling $180k in gold up his butt
• Girl with knife at school says she fears clowns
• Expert of the Day: Brittany Hughes from MRCTV on uptick of illegal Cubans coming to America

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 20, 2016

• Terrorist bomber may have been radicalized after visiting Afghanistan, Pakistan
• Father turned him in as a terrorist two years ago
• Wife bolted for Pakistan just before the attacks
• Rudy blasts de Blasio's response to attacks
• De Blasio calls for more Muslim immigrants
• Soros invests $500 million to help refugees
• Men in Miami Beach penthouse aim rifle at people on street below
• Ten times in two years terrorists have slipped past immigration officials
• Hillary's lead in California is shrinking
• Hillary needs help getting up stairs at rally
• What's up with her eyes?
• Odd videoing at Hillary rally
• Palestinian terrorist's wife to address Clinton Foundation
• Hillary's e-mail scrubber asked Reddit users how to purge e-mails
• Hillary gave State Department appointments to 194 donors
• Man who took Skittles photo used by Don Trump is upset
• Belmont U. student booted for racist rant on Snapchat
• Milo tells protester at his event, 'F@*# your feelings'
• Navy requires all sailors to undergo trans training
• Ca. restricts pollutants from cow flatulence to diesel emissions
• University to launch afro-themed dorm floors
• Scientists: Cuddling kittens can kill you
• Creepy clown epidemic
• Angelina Jolie files for divorce from Brad Pitt over cheating allegation
• Upset over Pitt's pot smoking and anger problems
• Mattress store uses Kaepernick jersey as doormat
• College BBQ deemed too offensive because posters used Uncle Sam
• High-fat cheese the secret to a healthy life?
• Man caught masturbating while registering as a sex offender
• Expert of the Day: Dr. William Kilpatrick on the Politically Correct Guide to Jihad

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 19, 2016

• Terrorist bombing suspect captured after shootout with police
• Suspect sued police for Muslim targeting
• Was radicalized after visit to Afghanistan
• Police were already on terror alert
• Bomb at NJ train station found by homeless men rummaging through trash
• Somali 'ISIS fanatic' goes on knife attack in MN
• Meet the man who shot the terrorist
• Obama refuses to call acts of terrorism terrorism
• Harry the Reid says his gun control bill would prevent the next terrorist attack
• U.S. government mistakenly grants citizenship to immigrants from countries of concern
• Dallas police sergeant files lawsuit against Obama, Black Lives Matter for inciting violence against police
• Congressman: Obama laundered money to Iran
• Atlanta runs out of gas
• Bully wives in UK triple
• Creep show: Teacher arrested for secretly videoing elementary school girls undressing
• Update: Scientists surrounded by polar bears rescued
• Germany's wind energy fails to deliver
• Expert of the Day: Fred Lucas, WH correspondent for the Daily Signal, on the upcoming UN summit and his new book, Tainted by Suspicion

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 16, 2016

• Gasoline leak in Alabama may cause shortage across the East
• Poll: Dems pick BernMe as backup
• More polls looking better for Trump
• Harry the Reid rejects 'cheap' CNN poll that shows Trump ahead
• Reid and Trump go at it
• Hillary promises Hispanic audience amnesty
• Protester grabs mic at Kaine rally
• Hillary campaign overcharging poorest donors
• Trump: Obama was born in America
• Another ISIS leader bites the dust
• Taxpayers are fleeing New York in droves
• Is 70 the new retirement age?
• Dad concerned for daughter's safety after 3rd-grade classmate draws a gun
• Business in Canada offering a job and 2 free acres if you'll relocate
• Tree hugger says trees talk to each, make friends
• Irate LA motorist attacks trash truck for slowing traffic
• Amid California drought, water company waters fake grass
• Guest: Obamacare faces critical year
• Expert of the Day: Dr. Gerard Lameiro on Hillary's illness and Trump's chances in November

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 15, 2016

• LA Times: Trump lead now 6
• Hillary tanking in the liberal enclave of DC
• Trump slams Ford for moving small car production to Mexico
• Berkeley student mob shuts down pro-Trump rally
• Trump promises to end needless regulation on day one
• Video: Idiot liberals outraged that Don Trump shot a triceratops
• Colin Powell's hilarious e-mail about Bill Clinton
• Hacked e-mails spill secrets on Bohemian Grove
• Hillary postpones e-mail questions due to 'campaign business'
• Doctor: No such thing as non-contagious pneumonia
• Teen running from police pulls replica pistol on cop, shot to death
• NC guv starts to rise in polls
• TN guv now OK with Syrian refugees
• NYC coucilman pulls a Kaepernick
• Please. Sex addiction on the rise
• Maryland schools ban thousands without vaccinations
• School superintendent says Betsy Ross flag is a symbol of hate
• The fear of the autonomous car
• Angry polar bears besiege Arctic weather station
• Ozone hole shrinks and scientists really think we saved it
• Street closures for Obama fundraiser keep ambulance from getting to patient
• Bizarre clown epidemic continues
• Tom Brady has never eaten strawberries

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 14, 2016

• Colin Powell voices concern over Hillary's health in leaked e-mail
• Calls Trump 'international pariah'
• DNC chairman warns not to look at hacked e-mails
• 30% think Illary would die in office
• Trump releases summary of physical exam on Dr. Oz
• LA Times: Trump up by almost 5
• Leads by 5 in Ohio
• Pulls ahead in Colorado
• Melania Trump proves she's legal
• ACC follows NCAA's lead, moves championship games out of NC over bathroom bill
• Republican caves and joins Dems in call to repeal HB2 in NC
• Ford moving all small-car production from U.S. to Mexico
• CBS says Bill Clinton edit was 'purely for time'
• Massive cover-up exposed: climate alarmists rebranded '70s cooling scare as myth
• Scientist tells NY Times climate models as fake as Trump's hair
• Graph shows Europe's biggest global warming hypocrites
• Guy who wore creepy Tom Brady mask to Cardinals game revealed
• Austrian 18-year-old sues her parents for posting embarrassing pictures on Facebook
• 4-year-old boy in car with passed-out adults gets new home
• Expert of the Day: Andy Koenig of the Wall Street Journal on why lame duck spending is bad

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 13, 2016

• NY Post: Hillary avoided ER to conceal illness
• Washington Post pushes conspiracy theory that Putin, Trump poisoned Hillary
• Clinton camp delivers pneumonia talking points to surrogates
• Anchor mistakenly announces Hillary is dead
• CBS edits out Bill Clinton slip on Hillary's health
• John Kerry funnels millions to daughter's non-profit
• LA Times poll: Trump by 3
• Filmmaker blamed for Benghazi attack living in homeless shelter
• Clinton Foundation advisor with no security clearance accessed Hillary's e-mail
• State Department admits nuke deal may have emboldened Iran
• Sniper takes out ISIS executioner with Barrett .50-caliber from a mile away
• 'Black Rifles Matter' sign sparks outrage
• Milo takes on lesbian hate crime hoaxes
• O'Keefe brings Ivy League student to tear over Trump chaulking
• NCAA moves tournaments from NC over bathroom bill
• Hillary praises move
• So does Obama
• Gary Johnson: There will be another Aleppo day
• Rocket explosion will cost SpaceX $120 million
• NY Times columnist says racism the reason no one sits next to him on train
• Great call from Westwood One announcer of man running on field during MNF
• Ryan Lochte rushed on stage, man tackled and detained
• BLM wants to kill or sell 45,000 wild horses
• New fertilization technique allows men to have babies with men
• Woman trashes Wendy's after bad drive-thru experience
• Why would anyone need a driverless motorcycle?
• West Virginia woman arrested for putting out cigarette in boyfriend's eye
• Bank of America analysts claim 50% chance we're living in Matrix reality simulator
• Expert of the Day: Sarah Westwood from the Washington Examiner on FBI director refusing to testify before Congress

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 12, 2016

• It's finally official: Hillary is not well
• Now it's real
• Why did campaign lie?
• Surrogate blames Illary being a 'stoic Methodist' for not telling public
• Hillary played with grandkids after being diagnosed with pneumonia
• Body double conspiracy theories abound
• Report: Emergency DNC meeting to replace Hillary
• Here's how replacement for Hillary would be chosen
• Chuckie Schumer had pneumonia too, just revealed it
• Hillary, Trump to release medical reports
• UPI: Trump up by 3
• Hillary regrets 'basket of deplorables' remark
• FBI Director Comey refuses to testify before Congress on Hillary e-mails
• Former CIA Director Woolsey joins Trump campaign
• Trump wants to debate Hillary without a moderator
• Dramatic new details emerge about San Bernardino attack
• Obama exceeds Syrian refugee target by 15%
• Mother and son arrested for incest in North Carolina
• Protestor crashes Colin Powell's CBS interview
• Wow! We're 0.16 degrees warmer than the record, according to faulty surface temps
• Bum masturbates outside NY Wi-Fi kiosk
• House from 'The Godfather' horse head scene on market for $195 million
• Fertility doctor arrested for using his own sperm to impregnate women
• Expert of the Day: Energy expert Terry Jarrett on why coal will matter in the November election

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 9, 2016

• Soros pushing online voting
• Hillary claims she was bullied before taking law exam
• Conway: No one told Trump that Larry King interview was broadcast in Russia
• Ed Schultz defends Trump's appearance on RT America
• Jill Stein defends her vandalism: 'It's for the climate'
• Israeli military expects ISIS attack on its southern border within 6 months
• NoKos conduct fifth nuke test
• Parasite named after Obama
• Illegal alien serial rapist deported five times
• Dem bill would force schools to track bullying, report to feds
• Man suspended from Social Security Administration for refusing to watch GBLT indoctrination film
• Penn State libs denounce high ticket price to see Chelsea
• Big surprise: Greece bailout falters
• Texas high school covers Ten Commandments after one complaint
• Mattress store takes heat for tasteless Twin Towers sale TV ad
• Burning Man attendees find real life a difficult adjustment
• Study: Cell phones destroy sperm
• And, ironically, iPhone 7 slogan in Hong Kong translates to 'This is penis'
• Racist robots? Beauty contest judged by AI, didn't like dark skin
• Man steals money from bra of wheelchair-bound 93-year-old
• The Trump song heard on The Phil Valentine Show
• Guest: Alberto Gonzales on his new book, True Faith and Allegiance
• Expert of the Day: Wayne Allyn Root on his new book, Angry White Male, and how Trump can win in November

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 8, 2016

• Here's a twist: Matt Lauer accused of going after Hillary and going easy on Trump
• Was Hillary cheating with ear piece?
• Clinton camp denies it
• New poll shows swing states tightening
• U of Iowa to create social justice degree
• Is anyone outside of Morning Joe really concerned Gary Johnson had never heard of Aleppo?
• Election commission member warns Dems are out for conservative media
• Illegals make up sex assault stories to stay in country longer
• Protestors delay spraying for Zika in Miami
• Mother, daughter arrested in OK for marrying each other
• Walmart takes down Coke 9/11 display after complaints
• Man killed in 'autopilot' Tesla
• 'Crackas with Attitude' hackers caught
• EPA caught running 'illegal' experiments on humans
• Naked, drunk man arrested singing 'Cops' theme
• Male Vogue intern says he was fired for wearing high heels
• Mysterious clown sightings are crippling the clown business
• Woman sets fire to blankets on JetBlue flight
• Expert of the Day: Katie Yoder from MRC on where the safe spaces are for ISIS victims

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 7, 2016

• Trump leads Hillary by 19 with military
• Wikileaks may start releasing Hillary e-mail teasers next week
• New e-mails show Hillary planted questions at Benghazi hearing
• Green Party presidential candidate arrested for vandalism
• Woman tries, and fails, to steal Trump yard signs
• Iran ransom payment was four times amount originally disclosed
• New ISIS military commander was trained by State Department
• Report: Feds doling out green cards to illegal 'brides'
• Claim: Putin car wreck was assassination attempt
• Obama nominates first Muslim judge to federal court
• Indians protest pipeline running across sacred land
• Bakery refuses to make 'Trump 2016' birthday cake
• Yoga teacher on trail for allegedly allowing boys to fondle her at bar mitzvah
• Uh, no: Dos Equis unveils the new Most Interesting Man in the World
• Expert of the Day: David Bozell from ForAmerica.org on why a lame duck congressional session is a bad idea

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 6, 2016

• Another Hillary coughing fit, this one lasting over 4 minutes
• Clinton campaign shames NBC reporter for covering the cough
• NY AG ignores law requiring foreign donor disclosure to Clinton Foundation
• Congress focuses on Hillary's network server company that deleted e-mails after subpoena
• CNN poll: Trump by 2
• Trump now under fire for saying Hillary doesn't have the 'presidential look'
• ISIS issues new call for attack on West, all non-believers fair game
• Greta leaves Fox News under 'key-man clause'
• Fox News settles with Gretchen Carlson for $20 million
• Dems block Zika funding again
• GOP bill blocks cash payments after Iran ransom was paid
• Illegals tell border agents 'Obama said it was OK to come'
• Phyllis Schlafly dead at 92
• Cancer breakthrough can detect cancer in a blood test before symptoms
• Cal State LA offers 'safe space' housing for black students
• College advisors prohibit Harambe jokes, claim they're racist
• Chicago logs 500th homicide this year!
• EpiPen maker being investigated for breaking antitrust laws
• Dirt people trend: Living in a tiny house
• Jilted woman torches the wrong car
• Man breaks into house, paints dog purple
• Woman goes nuts on subway because she's fat
• Mutant pig born with human face and penis on its head
• Expert of the Day: NY Times bestseller Brad Meltzer on his latest book, The House of Secrets, and his new kids book, I Am George Washington

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 2, 2016

• FBI releases Hillary e-mail report
• Hillary lost cell phones with classified e-mails on them
• Says she didn't receive training on classified info despite signing an agreement that she did
• Thought 'C' was for alphabetical paragraphs
• Got porn link from a 'colleague' and opened it, turned out to be malware
• Colin Powell warned Hillary not to use a Blackberry
• Ten takeaways from the FBI report
• Hillary and Trump and neck-and-neck
• Odd CNN encounter with Trump's doctor
• Eric Trump asks how the Clintons got so wealthy running a charity
• Ann Coulter says Trump did not mock disabled reporter
• Kaepernick kneels instead of stand
• 'War on Cops' author says Kaepernick needs to get his facts straight
• Another teammate joins him
• EpiPen maker's woes continue
• Idiot changes profile picture to wanted poster, and he was
• Man arrested for shooting corncobs at neighbor's house
• Expert of the Day: Philip Terzian, literary editor at the Weekly Standard, on Trump's Reaganesque meeting with the Mexican president

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 1, 2016

• Rasmussen: Trump up by 1
• USA Today poll: Hillary up by 7
• More criticism for Mexico's president after Trump visit
• Liberals come unhinged over Trump illegal immigration speech
• Byron York: Mexico gamble huge win for Trump
• Kaepernick to sit out anthem on military night
• Left planting fake stories to fool conservatives
• Illegal? Georgetown to give slave descendents priority admission
• Rutgers: To avoid microaggressions, only speak when necessary
• Iran propaganda video sinks American fleet with tidal wave
• Obama to give $40 million to Pacific islands over climate threat
• Pope says we must atone for the 'sin' of global warming by carpooling
• Whoops. Facebook satellite blows up on launch pad
• Dirt bikers shut down Times Square