Daily Show Prep - Monday August 31, 2015

• ISIS plotting another 9/11
• Trump, Carson tied for top spot in Iowa
• 'Black lives matter' chant called 'disgusting' by police leader
• Houston area deputy shot execution-style, suspect in custody
• State Department to release large batch of Hillary e-mails
• Food waste up 56% thanks for Obamalunch
• Flashback: ABC News' prediction for 2015 back in 2009
• Illinois lottery bankrupt, issuing IOUs
• Professor threatens bad grades for saying 'illegal alien'
• Obama renaming Mt. McKinley
• 25-minute walk each day can add 7 years to your life
• Obsession with healthy eating can lead to malnutrition
• P.F. Chang's chef stabs another chef to death during dinner rush
• Overly-sensitive? Jewish visitors complain about mist showers at Auschwitz entrance

Daily Show Prep - Friday August 28, 2015

• Appeals court lifts injunction against NSA phone records program
• Hillary claims to already have a fifth of delegates locked up
• Video: Black couple beats white woman for being in the 'wrong hood'
• 'Sister Wives' family points to same-sex marriage to argue for polygamy
• Obama closes in on locking up Iran nuke deal in senate
• Mexico files amicus brief in birthright citizenship lawsuit
• Judge: Illegals have right to bear arms
• University of Tennessee urges the use of correct pronouns when addressing students
• Ashley Madison CEO resigns
• Nestle under fire for slave cat food
• Judge blocks Obama's new water rule
• Cops bust Jerry Seinfeld's son's lemonade stand
• Move over Caitlyn, Lion-killing dentist costume hot for Halloween
• You might be a redneck if: Man arrested after dog tests positive for meth
• Fair Tax: Guest Steve Hayes, National Chairman for the Fair Tax
• Expert of the Day: Gabby Morrongiello from the Washington Examiner, is Scott Walker fading?
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Francine Filler-Quick

Daily Show Prep - Thursday August 27, 2015

• TV reporter killer reprimanded for wearing Obama badge on Election Day
• Poll: Biden more competitive than Hillary
• Trump continues to dominate GOP field
• Pollsters dumbfounded by Trump
• Trump's lean campaign breaks the mold
• Trump has campaign attendee confirm his hair is real
• Dan Rather sees conspiracy in Trump/Fox News feud
• Hillary compares GOP to terrorists on women's issues
• Clinton data went unsecured for a month after classified data discovered
• Illegal alien sex offender previously deported assaults teen with Down Syndrome
• Christian man brutally murdered by Muslim refugees
• Gas drops below $2-a-gallon in 15 states
• Blue Cross of New Mexico bailing from Obamacare
• Lion in same park as Cecil kills tour guide
• 141 counties have more registered voters than live people
• Feds raid gay escort service, gay community outraged
• French woman wins disability grant for 'gadget allergy'
• Polish authorities confirm Nazi treasure train
• Expert of the Day: Marlo Lewis of the Competitive Enterprise Institute on the EPA's Clean Power Plan
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Brown Rainwater

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 26, 2015

• Gunman in deadly attack on TV reporter and cameraman kills himself
• Killer left strange 'manifesto'
• Never let a crisis go to waste: WH calls for tighter gun restrictions
• Trump vs. Univision's Jorge Ramos on illegals
• Jorge's daughter works for Hillary
• CNN's war on woman: Carly Fiorina wants in on the debate
• Walmart to stop selling AR-15s and similar guns
• CBO forecasts unsustainable debt
• Colorado theater shooter sentenced to life plus 3,318 years
• Josh Duggar checks into center for sex addiction
• First state legalizes taser drones for cops
• Liberal idiots: How to solve San Francisco's homeless pooping problem
• Video: Irish tourist takes on Turkish mob and wins
• Ten most influential pot smokers
• Man leaps to his death in China over market crash
• Expert of the Day: Sarah Westwood from the Washington Examiner on Hillary's e-mails
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Customer Service Rep for McDonald's, Hazel Nutt

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 25, 2015

• New Planned Parenthood video: Buyer jokes about shipping severed heads
• Planned Parenthood suing Louisiana
• ESPN suspends Curt Schilling over tweet about Muslims, Nazis
• BSNBC: Jeb facing backlash over comments on Asians
• Jeb: People should 'chill out' on the anchor baby controversy
• Tourist births: 71% get welfare
• Rasmussen: 46% think it's time for Hillary to pack it in
• Sanders leads Hillary in New Hampshire
• Shrink: Hillary's lonely, longs for intimate relationship with powerful woman
• Hillary's e-mails were classified under Obama executive order
• Trump-Fox News war heats up again
• Frank Luntz backtracks on Trump 'destruction'
• Lindsey Graham says he'll beat Trumps brains out in S.C.; he's at 4 percent
• Lois Lerner had another stealth e-mail account
• Oil price drop raises fear of unrest
• Study says it can predict men who may kill their spouses
• Rock band finds illegal immigrant hidden in guitar case
• Expert of the Day: David Paul Kuhn, novelist and political analyst; his novel is 'What Makes It Worthy'

Daily Show Prep - Monday August 24, 2015

• Oil drops below $40 a barrel
• Stock market drops big time
• Denver halts Chick-fil-A at airport over owner's religious beliefs
• Biden more likely to run than not
• Dem rep accuses Scott Walker of 'literally' tightening noose around blacks, doesn't know what 'literally' means
• French train hero's father to BSNBC: 'PC crowd needs to recognize terrorism for what it is'
• US considering an award for French train heroes
• Satan worshipers protest in support of Planned Parenthood
• Ashley Madison hack may have led to two suicides
• Ashley Madison customers 90-95 percent male
• Old Dominion U goes nuts after 'offensive message' to income freshmen
• 14-year-old saves siblings from home invasion with a rifle
• Experts: Text of Jesus' wife may be real
• Pokemon players arrested after bringing guns to tournament
• Video of ISIS toddler beheading a teddy bear
• Ken Burns equates 'birthers' with saying the N-word
• TN school district bans all flags from being flown on trucks on school property
• Expert of the Day: Ron Hosko on the growing ISIS threat
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dixie Normous

Daily Show Prep - Friday August 21, 2015

• U.S. Marines take down terrorist on French train
• Surprise! Officials say he was an Islamist militant
• Rasmussen: 57% of Republicans think Trump will be nominee
• 'Deez Nuts' more popular than Hillary on Google
• Trump and allies plot path to victory
• Trump: 'I go out of my way to use the word Christmas'
• Hollywood actress confronts Ted Cruz on gay issue
• Pope wanted to enter the U.S. from Mexico
• AZ Sheriff: Drug cartels control American soil 30 miles from Phoenix
• Dozens of Clinton e-mails were classified from the start
• Oil drops below $40 for first time since 2009
• Satellites tell different story from press hype: July not hottest on record
• Dr. John Christy: We have a 'moral imperative' to burn fossil fuels
• Kim Jong Un approves 'final attack operation' on South Korea
• Another ignorant editorial on reparations
• Ten things you didn't know were racist
• ISIS destroys ancient monastery
• Nashville: Micro houses for the homeless
• Expert of the Day: Ilan Berman, VP of the American Foreign Policy Council on Iranian nuke inspectors
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Arrested for public indecency, 90-year-old Leonard G. Dickman

Daily Show Prep - Thursday August 20, 2015

• Hillary's campaign admits classified info was on her private server
• Two national security laws appear broken in e-mail scandal
• Trump surges in Florida
• Time: Trump has landed; deal with it
• Poll shows it's time for Biden to jump in
• PC police say 'anchor baby' is a derogatory term
• Rep. Mia Love breaks down talking about new Planned Parenthood video
• Democrat demands answers from group behind Planned Parenthood videos
• Josh Duggar among Ashley Madison adulterer website's clients
• LA mayor and his 'black ball' scheme to save water
• Hackers dump second batch of Ashley Madison records
• Jet passenger tazed over dispute about 'man purse'
• Man attacks girlfriend with plate of sauerkraut
• John McEnroe thinks he can beat Serena Williams
• Feds to stop calling midget raisins 'midget'
• Expert of the Day: Anika Smith, columnist for The Stream, on latest Planned Parenthood video
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Criminal D'AlCapone AlPacino Morris
• The aptitude test Phil was talking about: Enter code Valentine and get 10% off

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 19, 2015

• Trump closing in on Hillary
• RNC sells Hillary 'Secret Server Wiper'
• Rasmussen: Voters want to build a wall, deport illegal felons
• Gilmore says Trumps plan on 'anchor babies' is unconstitutional
• Ben Carson draws thousands in Phoenix
• Fiorina may not make CNN debate due to methodology
• Iranian military textbook talks of nuclear EMP
• Hackers make Ashley Madison adulterer info public
• 15,000 are government e-mails!
• Some are Obama administration e-mails
• Money manager says oil could drop to $15 a barrel
• BlackLivesMatter organizer turns out to be white
• Subway's Jared pleads guilty to child sex, porn charges
• Insecticide, not global warming, linked to honey bee die-offs
• George Soros big on coal
• They found Rosie's daughter
• Parrot detained after hurling obscenities
• Hamas arrests a dolphin accused of being an Israeli spy
• California continues its descent into campus sexual assault madness
• Man cited for giving police false information, said his name was F@#* You
• Expert of the Day: Presidential candidate Rick Santorum

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 18, 2015

• Hillary's e-mail server was run from a bathroom closet
• State Department finds nearly 18,000 missing Hillary e-mails
• Gingrich: Hillary will not be the nominee
• Hillary fan hopes she bows out
• Mexico starting to get scared of Trump
• Mainstream media freaking out over Trump illegal alien plan
• Trump pulls clear of competition
• Worldwide backlash against immigration
• Another major Dem comes out against Iran nuke deal
• EPA now going after methane
• BlackLivesMatter activist tells Blitzer 'all lives matter' is a 'violent statement'
• Rosie O'Donnell's daughter is missing, needs medical attention
• She's a man, man! Obama hires first openly transgender
• Subway's Jared to plead guilty to child porn charges
• Teen in jail after calling the cops 'pigs'
• 38-year-old virgin marries Jesus in church ceremony
• Robbers try robbing store with machete, clerk one-ups them
• Ronald McDonald statue decapitated
• Stoners stealing 420 highway markers
• Expert of the Day: Patrick Hedger from American Encore about Hillary's Student Loan Plan gimmick
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Kelly Ann Long marries Eric Wiwi and becomes Kelly Ann Long-Wiwi

Daily Show Prep - Monday August 17, 2015

• Fox Poll: Trump flat; Carson, Cruz, and Fiorina up
• Hillary's classified e-mail count continues to grow
• Bernie Sanders gives his elevator pitch on socialism
• California tax to create green jobs is a flop
• Crazy dirt people say we've already used up Earth's resources
• Minimum wage push could speed robot-powered restaurants
• Fiorina opposes federal minimum wage law
• Nuke inspectors require approval from Iran's intelligence agency
• NY Times: Shooting of white driver gets far less pub
• Why gas prices are rising as oil is falling
• States raising taxes, fees, and debt to pay for road repairs
• Amazon employees respond to scathing NY Times piece on work culture
• Constantly checking your phone can lead to 'cognitive failures'
• Half of UK youths say they're not 100% heterosexual
• Mohammed top baby name in UK
• Siri calls 911, saves teen's life
• OMG! Cecil's killer is back in business
• Expert of the Day: Terry Jarrett, former commissioner of the Missouri Public Service Commission on why the EPA changes to power grid could wreck the economy
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Ima Harp

Daily Show Prep - Friday August 14, 2015

• A majority support a criminal investigation of Hillary
• Top secret Hillary e-mails included drone talk
• Crunch time for Anvil Joe
• Buchanan: GOP elites plot to purge Trump
• Another illegal alien murderer
• Rasmussen: Americans believe illegals are taking jobs
• Did Kerry grow some? Says Cuba would be better served by democracy . . . and said it in Cuba!
• Low oil prices threaten Texas fracking
• NY fracking ban is impoverishing rural towns
• This is how you do it: LeBron pledging $87 million for hometown kids to attend college
• Great entrepreneurs have these six skills
• Drug-trafficking homing pigeon detained
• Tim Tebow signs Bible for fan
• Miami Vice Ferrari to be auctioned
• Expert of the Day: Kevin Jackson, founder of The Black Sphere, on Ferguson: The Big Lie
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Editor Paige Turner

Daily Show Prep - Thursday August 13, 2015

• Castro says the U.S. owes Cuba 'many millions of dollars'
• ISIS issues chilling warning to America
• Town of EPA spill begged them not to test which led to spill
• Recovery? Food banks see rising demand
• Lois Lerner: GOP is 'evil and dishonest'
• Megyn Kelly takes 10-day vacation from Fox News
• Actor Bryan Cranston likes Trump's attitude, hates his ideas
• BSNBC says Trump most powerful person in media
• Scott Walker signs bill authorizing public funding of basketball arena
• NAAPC to march for voting rights, education
• Toxic Chinese blast kills 50
• San Fran uses repellant paint to fight public urination
• Airline to weigh passengers before boarding
• How much is Michael Jordan worth to a sponsor?
• Bradley 'Chelsea' Manning faces new charges for having Vanity Fair with 'Caitlyn' Jenner on cover
• Expert of the Day: Fran Coombs, managing editor of Rasmussen Reports on the GOP candidates
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Bus driver Stan Still

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 12, 2015

• Indians say EPA trying to swindle them in mine spill
• EPA: We were very careful
• NOAA: US July temps below normal for third year in a row
• Rut-row: 'Top secret' e-mails found on Hillary's personal server
• Gowdy: Hillary could face criminal prosecution
• Bernie Sanders surges ahead of Hillary in New Hampshire
• Business Insider: Hillary in a free fall
• Trump tops Iowa poll
• Ted Nugent says he watches Megyn Kelly naked
• Ben Carson: Planned Parenthood was formed to kill black babies
• Roll your eyes: Have white Christians learned anything from Ferguson
• Family member of Charleston shooting: Banning Confederate flag just the beginning
• Immigrant center hits record number
• Senator demands investigation of latest murder by illegal alien
• Illegal alien moms sue government over treatment at detention center
• What China's devalued currency means to us
• British SAS wore U.S. uniforms on ISIS raid
• North Korea executes vice premier
• Former astronaut says aliens tried to stop us from nuclear war
• Shoplifter hid steaks in colostomy bag
• Man breaks into home to remove Confederate flag
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Tim Burr

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 11, 2015

• Polls, polls, and more polls
• Trump down in NH, Kasich, Fiorina up
• Trump leads in Iowa
• Rasmussen: Winners and losers
• Trump's strategy on ISIS: 'Take the oil, knock the hell out of them'
• Trump on the issues
• Cruz: Foolish for Republicans to criticize Trump
• Rick Perry in tailspin
• Surveillance footage shows shooter in Ferguson
• Two recent MS State grads arrested for trying to join ISIS
• San Fran Sheriff who let illegal go has driver's license suspended
• Huma used Hillary's private e-mail for official business 'at times'
• Kerry: Rejection of Iran nuke deal will lead to dropping the dollar as the world's reserve currency
• Two MS State grads arrested for trying to join ISIS
• Kentucky's Christian purge has begun
• Oil prices tumble as Chinese currency is devalued
• How does devaluation of Chinese currency affect us?
• California bans the word 'alien' in government documents
• Little House on the Prairie star announces run for Congress
• Three storm theater with leaf blower
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Actress Lotte Flack

Daily Show Prep - Monday August 10, 2015

• NBC Poll: Trump up after debate, Cruz and Carly up, too
• Another poll, another story, all good for the Donald
• Donald Trump vs. Megyn Kelly
• Jeb realigning to be 'more attractive' to GOP base
• Scott Walker on Trump: 'It's like watching a car accident'
• Kasich straddling the fence on global warming
• Hillary's $350 billion college affordability plan
• Man with a gun shot at Ferguson anniversary protest
• Charged with 10 felonies
• Judge orders Hillary, aides not to delete e-mails
• Obama's 'Clean Power Plan' punishes consumers, workers and states that voted for Romney
• Study: China exporting ozone pollution to U.S.
• Planned Parenthood says government shutdown would hurt the GOP
• Rising cost of dental drives seniors to Mexico
• Protesters shut down Bernie Sanders rally
• State rep. concocts gay sex scandal to deflect from real scandal with female legislator
• Expert of the Day: J.P. Moran on the GOP standing no chance without millennials
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dentist Dr. Les Plack

Daily Show Prep - Friday August 7, 2015

• 24 million watched the debate, most-watched cable news program ever
• Moderators dominated debate time
• An incomplete list of people Trump insulted during and after the debate
• It's official: Schumer opposes Iran nuke deal
• Israel hints at air strikes, assassinations
• Iranian commander breaks UN resolution, leaves Iran for Russia
• Carly Fiorina shuts down Chris Matthews
• Court denies latest Obamacare challenge
• Where's the outrage over police killing an unarmed white guy?
• Blue Cross requests 35% rate increase for Obamacare plans in North Carolina
• EPA dumps one million gallons of wastewater into Colorado River
• College lays off hundreds, drops nearly a mil on renovation of president's mansion
• Brazilian radio host murdered on the air
• 12-year-old girl has higher IQ than Hawking, Einstein
• Lesbian couple faked hate crime, torched own home for insurance claim
• Resident calls 911 over man walking with a Confederate flag
• Judge orders couple to marry to avoid jail
• Lexus moving to haggle-free pricing
• Expert of the Day: Jenny Beth Martin, president of Tea Party Patriots, on the latest regarding the IRS targeting tea party groups
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: The Burger-King wedding

Daily Show Prep - Thursday August 6, 2015

• Jeb calls Trump a 'buffoon,' 'clown,' 'asshole'
• Politico: What if Trump wins?
• GOP candidates get ready to rumble
• Rand Paul: Trump's lead is the media's fault
• Paul intends to 'mix it up' at the debate
• Trump's plane
• Another sign China is getting set to invade Taiwan
• Larry Klayman asks court to seize Hillary's lawyers e-mails
• Woman launches attack against gender stereotypes with #ILookLikeAnEngineer
• How Alex Jones' Jade Helm conspiracy got very dangerous very fast
• Lois Lerner targeted Bristol Palin
• Corroded by urine, San Fran light pole falls
• Stolen Stradivarius surfaces after 30 years
• Arkansas dentist tries to cash in on Cecil the Lion
• OMG! Less than a third of speaking roles in high-grossing films go to women
• Man claiming to be Tarzan arrested at California zoo
• Expert of the Day: Harlan Ullman on which GOP candidate is best on foreign policy
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Esther Munday

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday August 5, 2015

• More shots fired at Jade Helm exercise in Mississippi
• Obama compares 'Death to America' Iranians to Republicans
• Admits unfrozen cash will fund terrorists
• Kerry: Don't screw the ayatollah
• Another Planned Parenthood video, worse than the others
• Middle Eastern men confronting families of service members
• FBI looking into security of Hillary's e-mail system
• Hillary cakes on the southern accent in South Carolina
• Media giddy Hillary's firing back at Jeb
• WashPo: Why Trump is winning
• Scientists 'brightening' clouds to combat global warming
• Republican offers bill to keep guns out of the hands of crazies
• SEC votes to require pay of CEO to be compared to other workers
• Putin claims ownership of North Pole
• Police warning about weaponized weed
• Vandals hit Cecil the Lion's killer's vacation home
• Expert of the Day: Mark Levin on his new book 'Plunder and Deceit'
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Arrested for child porn, Dick Pitcock

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday August 4, 2015

• Two men open fire on Jade Helm exercise in MS, no injuries
• Jade Helm 'preppers' arrested for stockpiling guns, explosives
• AT&T, T-Mobile, and Verizon Internet service down in parts of U.S.
• Find out what's out with your service provider
• Hmm. Hackers gather in Vegas
• Trump submits his own question for GOP debate
• D.L. Hughley: Trump's popularity tied to his racism
• Ten hours of Trump insults
• After Gawker publishes Trump's cellphone number he turns it into a campaign ad
• GOP debate lineup is official
• O'Malley wants Constitutional amendment to end photo ID
• Majority of white women dislike Hillary
• Baltimore police request federal help with crime wave
• City appoints two illegals as city commissioners
• TCU student punished for criticizing Baltimore rioters, Islam and illegals
• Third drone sighting at JFK
• Pope to lead Havana mass next to Che Guevara portrait
• 13 reasons the Pope should throw away his Che Guevara t-shirt
• Ted Cruz's 'machine-gun bacon
• Cruz's anti-Iran nuke deal website accidentally links to giant butt
• Kelly Osbourne apologizes for racist comments about Latinos
• The corporate aftermath of Cecil the Lion
• Woman spent government money on Red Bull, now wants more money for health problems
• OMG! Florida starts selling bear hunting permits
• Irony: 'Endangered' delta smelt could die off in California drought
• Meth lab found inside Iowa Taco Bell
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Lawyer Sue Mee and husband Rob Mee, a banker

Daily Show Prep - Monday August 3, 2015

• Obama orders 30% cut in CO2 emissions
• Obama quotes on new emissions limits
• National Review: Emissions overreach
• Obama to spew 355,000 lbs. of CO2 to warn about CO2 in Arctic
• Another coal company goes bankrupt
• Navy wants to charge officer who fired at Chattanooga terrorist
• Update: US Navy says story of officer being charged is not true
• Chuckie Schumer will oppose Iran nuke deal
• Ayatollah publishes guide to destroying Israel
• Opposition to Iran nuke deal doubles since June
• Rumor of Iranian diplomat's son as best man at Kerry's daughter's wedding appears to be false
• Authorities identify suspect in Memphis cop murder
• Ex-Ferguson police officer is 'unemployable'
• Farrakhan: 'We must rise up and kill those who kill us'
• NYC forces businesses to pay $300,000 for selling toy guns
• Trump: 'I pay as little as possible' in taxes
• Trump dominates the polls
• Monmouth poll: Trump more than doubles Jeb
• 36% of Republicans would follow Trump to a third party
• OMG! Trump's cellphone number isn't, like, 212
• Jindal: Sanctuary city mayors should be arrested
• Mass. mayor tells Jindal 'come and get me'
• Jindal stripping Planned Parenthood of Medicaid dollars
• Update: Socialist experiment at Seattle company flopping
• Biden to take on Hillary? White House fuels speculation
• Starbucks CEO urged to challenge Hillary
• Scott Walker accidentally poses with giant check from Koch brothers
• Diane Feinstein under fire for taking on sanctuary cities
• Ambushed St. Louis cop: God told me to put on vest
• Cecil's 'brother' is alive
• Another U.S. doctor, another dead lion
• Delta bans transport of trophy animals
• Carjacker tries to steal unmarked cop car . . . with armed cops inside
• Jessica Alba's company, Honest, under fire for sunscreen not working
• Alcoholic tonics said to increase sexual dexterity found to be spiked with Viagra
• Kraft recalls cheese slices over wrapper choking hazard
• Healthy British nurse ends her life at clinic over fear of growing old
• Expert of the Day: Myron Ebell from the Competitive Enterprise Institute on Obama's new EPA rules
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dr. Priti Manek