Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 30, 2015

• Senate votes to hold off government shutdown
• House follows suit
• Conservatives organize to 'Fire McCarthy'
• Hillary campaign workers break election law again with anti-Trump meme
• WashPo owner makes $16 billion this year, paper whines about income inequality
• Rand Paul says Ted Cruz is 'done for' in the senate
• State Department to release latest batch of Hillary e-mails
• UN Report: 'Cyber-touch' as harmful to women as physical touch
• American vigilantes fighting ISIS
• Gore spreads environmental gospel ahead of climate talks
• Fairbanks, Alaska sees largest September snowfall on record
• Arctic ice too thick for ships
• Nutty professor wants to breed smaller humans to adapt to global warming
• State rep says GE told him to lie about Ex-Im bank
• Pope's meeting with Kim Davis
• Battle over 'Simpsons' co-creator's will
• Ashley Madison's scam 'women' e-mail addresses owned by company
• Man pleads no contest to making woman sign 'slave contract'
• Woman stores mom's corpse for a year while cashing checks
• Volkswagen's eight-decade road to disaster
• Study: Shorter people have fewer sex partners than their taller peers
• Expert of the Day: NY Times Best-selling author Ed Klein on his new book, Unlikeable: The Problem with Hillary
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Volkswagen board member Olaf Lies

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 29, 2015

• Obama cedes superpower status to Putin
• ISIS planning 'nuclear tsunami'
• Boehner open to raising debt limit
• Gowdy surfaces as prospect for new majority leader
• Chemical exposure linked to diabetes, obesity risk
• Monica Lewinsky launches anti-bullying campaign
• Hillary's pumpkin spice latte question was asked by former Clinton staffer
• Trump breaks boycott of Fox News after one week
• Tom Brady says pro-Trump comments taken out of context
• Rand Paul unloads on Republican leadership
• Obama moves to close last uranium plant
• The ambulance ride to nowhere: Medicare paid $30 million for ambulance rides with no service provided
• Planet still standing 500 days after French foreign minister warned of 'climate chaos'
• Did NASA time its Mars announcement to coincide with 'The Martian'?
• Rapper compares gay community to KKK
• Lawsuit against ESPN by sleeping Yankees fan thrown out
• The Simpsons' Smithers is gay
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Transgender Liv Hnilicka

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 28, 2015

• Trump unveils his tax plan
• Norquist blesses Trump's plan
• Rubio calls Trump campaign 'freak show'
• Now that Boehner's out, is McConnell next?
• Speaker-in-waiting McCarthy slams Obama
• GOP: Obama's effort to 'internationalize' the Internet may be unconstitutional
• Oil prices fall again
• Wall Street goes all in on climate policy
• Alaska gets record-breaking snowfall
• Get a life! Group complains about 'God bless the military' sign on base
• US spy agencies heard Benghazi attackers calling other terrorists on State Dept. phones
• Confederate flag leads to school lockdown
• Expert of the Day:Mark Meckler, founder of Citizens for Self-Governance, on John Boehner's replacement
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Criminal Phuc Kieu

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 25, 2015

• Cryin' John says adios
• Standing O at conservative summit
• Conservatives take credit for ousting Boehner
• Pope endorses Iran nuke deal at UN speech
• Vatican has most restrictive immigration policy
• Illegal immigrant group planned Pope's encounter with young girl for a year
• Weird: Pro-abortion Democrat steals the Pope's water, sprinkles grandkids
• White House puts black screens up to keep Chinese prime minister from seeing protestors
• Rubio fires back at Debbie WhatsHerName Schultz over Nazi smear of donor
• Dems demand subpoena for Planned Parenthood videos
• GLAAD: Hollywood films are failing gay people
• Blood moon on Sunday: Some believe God is trying to tell us something
• San Fran's last gun shop closes
• Study: Year you were born determines your weight
• Australian tribunal: Facebook 'unfriending' constitutes workplace bullying
• School district bans 'tag' over students' emotional well-being
• Expert of the Day: Presidential candidate Sen. Rick Santorum on the Pope, Scott Walker, and his future as a candidate
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: In light of our discussion about the government spraying chemicals in the air, may we introduce Kim Trail

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 24, 2015

• Pope lectures America on immigration and gays
• Justice Ginsburg nods off again, this time at Pope address
• Audio: Open mic catches woman saying she wants to take her shoe off and throw it
• 72% of Americans say country not as good as it once was
• Rubio calls Trump 'touchy and insecure'
• Hilarious: Dems call for repeal of Obamacare's 'Cadillac tax'
• Poll: Carly barely tops Hillary in head-to-head matchup
• 'Feel the Bern' Sanders up 16 points over Hillary in NH
• Kanye West has kind words for Ben Carson
• Obama blocks conservative middle-schooler on Twitter
• Islamic extremist group publishes hit list of bloggers and writers
• New Zealand deports 'world's first climate change refugee'
• Muslim kid has message for Ben Carson: He vows to be first Muslim president
• Black student threatens to rape white teacher, teacher gets punished
• Day after Target store votes to unionize company announces fleet of robots
• Scientists reveal flu starts in roof of mouth
• 'One Million Moms' calls Muppets 'perverted'
• Video: White guy goes off on white guy about white privilege
• Popular LA surf spot closed due to tampons, condoms, and needles on beach
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Denise Black-Poon

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 23, 2015

• LA declares 'state of emergency' on homelessness
• Poll: Rubio passes Jeb in Florida
• Trump says he won't do Fox News for 'the foreseeable future'
• Trump limos licensed to mafia figure
• Gloria Steinem goes after Carly Fiorina
• FBI says it's found Hillary's e-mails
• Bristol Palin asks what's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Anna Duggar
• 83% of Nashville's most-wanted murderers and 46% of all most-wanted criminals are Hispanic
• OPM: 5.6 million fingerprints stolen
• Iran on Israel: 'We are going to destroy them'
• Growing number believe California drought is a government conspiracy
• Flashback: Weather modification no secret in China
• Global companies supposedly moving toward total renewable energy sources
• Clockmed's sister was suspended for bomb threat in middle school
• Transgender 'woman' upset when TSA body scan detects 'anomaly' better known as 'her' winkie
• 78-year-old Costco shopper punched over samples of Nutella
• Oh, please! Closing the 'homework gap'
• College overreacts to 'nooses' on campus
• Expert of the Day: Michael Pregent, former advisor to Gen. Petraeus, on Russia and Iran in Syria
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Menacing criminal by the name of Teddy Bear Paradise

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 22, 2015

• Book: Hillary's covering up serious illnesses
• Carson says Muslim comments were 'theoretical'
• Walker calls on other candidates to drop out to propel a true conservative to the nomination
• Fiorina shows a lighter side
• More on VW's diesel deception
• 51% of U.S. Muslims want sharia law
• Texas clock kid could be a fraud
• NJ Muslims taunt 'We will be a majority soon'
• Green hypocrisy: Wind Energy mogul protested wind farm off his summer home
• PETA sues to give monkey copyright of selfie photos
• Chris Christie orders NJ National Guard leader to lose weight
• Love this stat: Selfies kill more people than sharks
• Your fridge could be stealing your identity
• Buyers of new robot sign 'no sex' pledge
• Syracuse University stops using stadium 'kiss cam' because it leads to rape
• Sean Penn sues 'Empire' creator for defamation
• UK PM accused of sex scandal with a pig while at Oxford
• Judge rules man's arrest for writing profanity on speeding ticket
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dog named Ozzy Pawborn Prince of Barkness

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 21, 2015

• Scott Walker dropping out
• Fiorina shoots to #2 behind Trump
• 'Berned' out? Hillary's lead over Sanders grows
• Carson stands by his comment that a Muslim should not be president
• Rep. Peter King: A Muslim has every right to be president
• CAIR gets Ben Carson's comments wrong, too
• 25% of voters wouldn't vote for an evangelical Christian
• Members of Congress told not to touch the Pope
• Conservatives have no plan to remove Boehner
• Biden's wife urges him to run
• Kerry wants to take in more refugees
• Art Garfunkel says warns of dangers of mass migration
• TN guv concerned about accusations of Volkswagen cheating on carbon emissions
• Rolling Stone mag: 9 terrifying signs of environmental doom and gloom
• Nashville synagogue steps up to host Planned Parenthood event
• Secret Service apologizes for closing down cancer fundraiser in park
• Odd: Teen charged as a sex offender for having naked pictures on his phone...of himself
• The most hilarious questions passengers ask flight attendants
• Woman jumps out of moving car because of spider
• Video: Eagles cornerback tackles drunk fan running wild on the field
• Man facing burglary charges after mug shot with stolen jacket
• Expert of the Day: Alex Epstein says the Pope should embrace fossil fuels
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: State Farm agent Chip Munk

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 18, 2015

• Fiorina seeks to capitalize on post-debate buzz
• Paul operative accuses Rubio operative of punching him in the face
• Trump under fire for not rebutting supporter who said Obama was a Muslim
• House Republican plans to boycott Pope speech
• Will the Republicans defund Planned Parenthood?
• More on Ahmed the clock-maker
• Man protests 'stacking' of illegal aliens in his neighborhood
• Black student admits to 'white only' signs near school
• Group blast Park Service for banning e-cigs
• Walmart unions wage war with each other
• Remember the idiot congressman who said accused rapists should be expelled even if there's only a 20% chance they did it? He's apologized
• Robert Redford: Global warming skeptics are merely 'afraid of change'
• Obama administration slams Hillsdale College as not a real college
• Expert of the Day: Ben Domenech, publisher of The Federalist, on who won the GOP debate
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Cherries Waffles Tennis

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 17, 2015

• Carly wins the night
• Debate audience sets CNN record, short of Fox debate
• Why they were sweating at the debate
• ABC: 7 ways the second debate changed the presidential race
• Obama spends $500 million to train 5 anti-ISIS fighters
• Police chief fired for calling 'Black Lives Matter' movement 'terrorist group'
• Kid suspended for wearing flag t-shirt under his hoodie
• Obama willing to shut government down to keep funding for Planned Parenthood
• Conservatives try to topple Boehner
• Obama blocks Navy from sailing anywhere near Chinese disputed islands
• Former Nobel director regrets giving Obama the peace prize
• 20 climate scientists call for RICO investigation into deniers
• Antarctic sea ice hits 35-year high
• Historian: Global warming could bring about next Hitler
• Air marshals under investigation for filming sex with prostitute while on duty
• Paxil is unsafe for teenagers
• Stop it, you savage. Doritos has rainbow chips
• Weiner out of a job at PR firm
• City throws 'pity party' for sad people
• Big surprise: Liberals swear more than conservatives
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Veterinarian Dr. Curiosity

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 16, 2015

• Watch for the knives to come out for Trump tonight
• WashPo gives advice to GOP candidates
• Tom Brady on electing Trump: 'I hope so'
• 92% call illegal immigration a problem
• Crime wave data shows toll of illegal aliens
• Jeb ad touting America shot overseas
• Chaos on the Hungarian border
• Saudi Arabia won't take refugees
• Come on, man: 14-year-old Muslim boy arrested for making clock mistaken for bomb
• Obama deporting Christians fleeing ISIS
• Biden shilling for global warming
• Salon: We're all going to die unless Republicans believe in manmade global warming
• Republicans ready to cave again before October 1
• Obamacare allows companies to punish fat people
• CIA confirms Oswald contacted Cubans, Russians before JFK assassination
• Star Trek: Voyager actress arrested for exposing herself to children
• Chinese men try to sell kidney to buy iPhone
• Study: Kids who get more sunlight less likely to need glasses
• They caught the foot-sniffing bandit
• Taxpayers fund free yoga for federal employees
• Buffalo Wild Wings actor lies about escaping World Trade Center on 9/11
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Fifth-grade teacher Mr. Perv

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 15, 2015

• Eleven Republicans in second GOP debate
• Trump draws 15,000 in Dallas
• Washington Post's Cillizza: GOP establishment in big trouble
• Jindal goes after Cruz for clinging to 'madman' Trump
• Sanders wants to increase government spending by a third
• What? Obama slams PC culture on college campuses
• Over 750,000 Muslims given permanent residence in U.S. since Obama took office
• China building airstrip on artificial island in South China Sea
• Ohio parents protest transgender bathrooms at school
• CBO fails to mention most of the 14 million who would lose insurance without Obamacare lost their insurance in the first place because of Obamacare
• Serial foot-sniffer on the loose at Florida college
• Batman to fight racist police officers in new issue inspired by Trayvon Martin
• Emily Blunt: GOP debate made her regret becoming an American citizen
• 20% of teens wake up in the night to check Facebook
• New book claims Nazis were high on meth
• Expert of the Day: Rachel Alexander, The Stream's senior editor on the GOP debate and Hillary's Servergate
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Meth lab suspect Victor Special Forces Mallare

Daily Show Prep - Monday September 14, 2015

• Khamenei threatens America again
• Poor nations want U.S. to pay reparations for extreme weather
• Flashback: NOAA adjusts temperatures to create new hottest July on record
• Global warming not behind California drought, '70s droughts blamed on global cooling
• Gang leaders in El Salvador testing their power in U.S.
• Other state officials say no to gay marriage
• Professor gunned down at a MS university
• NH Poll: Trump and Carson rising, Bush and Walker sinking
• Scott Walker takes his union fight national
• Hillary losing support of Democrat women
• Bernie Sanders: America was founded on 'racist principles'
• Houston set to pass Chicago as third-largest city
• New calls for leadership change in congress
• Topless women disrupt Muslim conference
• Major networks only aired 0.13% of Planned Parenthood videos
• Trouble at Alibaba
• Some Mormons stocking up for blood moon doomsday
• Policy wonks wondering if revitalized neighborhoods push poor out — duh
• Warm and Fuzzy: Hospital computer that predicts when you're going to die
• Air India flight attendants grounded when 'too fat to fly'
• Expert of the Day: James O'Keefe from Project Veritas on new Hillary campaign expose video
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dick Rubright

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 11, 2015

• House votes against Iran deal, Obama says it's a good thing
• O'Keefe video exposes Hillary workers in fraud
• Jindal: Trump looks like he has a squirrel on his head
• Rick Perry drops out
• Two out of three Hispanics oppose increase in immigration
• Flashback: FBI says it can't vet Syrian refugees
• Oil boom a net loser for North Dakota
• Office Depot refuses to print anti-Planned Parenthood flyers, calls it 'hate material'
• University of Illinois trying to block 9/11 memorial
• Netanyahu: ISIS causing the Middle East to disintegrate
• Stephanie Rawlings-Blake will not seek 2016 re-election as Baltimore's mayor
• 9/11 anniversary disappearing from many front pages
• The human consequences of raising the minimum wage
• School board member castigated for using the term 'retarded'
• Recipe for disaster: San Fran jails to house inmates by gender preference
• USB analyst: 'Apple isn't reinventing the world' anymore
• Black university in Ohio removes Bill Cosby's name from building
• Whatever happened to Jade Helm martial law?
• Warning-Rough language: Comedienne loses movie gig because of 'Dear Fat People' video
• NFL investigating a Steelers coach for dust-up with Pats fan
• Rainbow appears over World Trade Center site on eve of 9/11
• Video: Conspiracy behind the Virginia television reporter shooting
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Amy Weener-Whipple

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 10, 2015

• Bernie Sanders overtakes Hillary in Iowa
• Trump surges to 32% in new CNN poll
• Trump says he wasn't talking about Fiorina's looks
• Hilarious: Jindal says Trump hasn't read Bible because he's not in it
• Gallup: Only 17% say immigration is not a major issue
• Gloria Estefan, friends releasing 'We Are All Mexicans' song
• Half of legal immigrants on welfare despite it being against the law
• No media bias? USA Today reporter covering Scott Walker signed petition to recall him
• Saudi Arabia offers to build 200 mosques for Syrians in Germany
• Pressure building on U.S. to take in more Syrian refugees
• Spies say ISIS intelligence was cooked to make them look weaker than they were
• Hamas chief holds press conference at Four Seasons hotel
• Black mob puts white guy in the hospital
• IT staffer wants immunity before talking about Hillary e-mails
• Al Qaeda threatens the Koch brothers
• Homeless launch Twitter war against NYC mayor
• Gov. Cuomo set to back $15 minimum wage across state of NY
• Pope ready to trash capitalism to money-loving Americans
• Media Matters' David Brock calls NY Times 'megaphone for conservative propaganda'
• Idiot congressman says it's best to expel accused rapists from school even if 80 percent are innocent
• Students' confidence exceeds their financial skills
• Farmer peeing in field gets bit on wee-wee by poisonous snake
• James Bond actor gave to super PAC that gives to Bernie Sanders
• JK Rowling: The 't' in Voldermort is silent
• Expert of the Day: Dan Kish from the Institute for Energy Research on plan to cut gas use by 50%
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Professor Justin Sider

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 9, 2015

• Khamenei: Israel won't survive 25 years
• Global warmists SO wrong again: Arctic gains hundreds of miles of ice
• NASA scientist spying for China
• Russian combat troops in Syria
• Lower state corporate taxes attract jobs
• More end-of-world blood moon prophecies
• TN mom says school book is pornographic
• McDonald's moving to cage-free eggs
• Conservatives say Boehner's future on the line
• Bruce Jenner fears being sent to men's prison
• Barbershop fined for refusing to cut woman's hair
• Video: Two Texas HS football players kicked off team for ramming ref
• New James Bond novelist goes PC
• Amazing Angelina Jolie double . . . without the nasty tattoos
• Arthur Herman of the Hudson Institute on who's to blame for European refugee problem
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Bear Trapp

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 8, 2015

• Clerk Kim Davis freed from jail
• 'The View' host calls Kim Davis 'bitch' and 'monster'
• TN schools director responds to accusation of Islamic indoctrination
• Study: Better school facilities don't help students learn
• Poll: Trump beats Hillary in head-to-head match-up
• Biden surges, Hillary sinks
• Trey Gowdy: Hillary's e-mail defense is 'dumbfounding'
• Hillary apologizes
• Iran nuke deal done? Not so fast
• Jihadi John tops UK's terrorist list
• Please! Muslim stewardess sues airline after being suspended for not serving alcohol
• Burning Man founder says blacks don't like to camp because of slavery
• Study suggests your 'gaydar' doesn't work
• Half of Americans have diabetes or pre-diabetes
• Nice try: Teen plants gun, knife and pot in rival's car
• Expert of the Day: Dana Perino from Fox News' The Five
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Tahra Dactyl

Daily Show Prep - Friday September 4, 2015

• Record number of Americans not in labor force
• Talker Hugh Hewitt trips up Trump on terrorists
• Scuffle between Trump staffers and pro-illegal alien protestors
• Iran commander: We're getting prepared to overthrown Israel
• KY clerk standing her ground on marriage license issue
• Taxpayers fleeing Democrat states for Republican ones
• 11-year-old shoots intruder, cops investigate the mother!
• Armed man shoots teen during robbery attempt
• Chinese navy ships entered U.S. waters
• Experts: Aspirin could help boost cancer treatment
• NFL embraces new Will Smith movie 'Concussion'
• Rahm taxes while the Chicago murder spree continues
• Hilarious but sad: Jared mocking perverts getting caught (start at 1:56)
• Strange 'humanoid' object seen floating above LA
• Gang member says he ran from cops because he's allergic to weird white people
• Beverly Hills residents fear pool ban
• Discovery Channel star loses an 8-foot cobra
• Expert of the Day: Sean Davis from the Federalist on the KY clerk refusing to issue marriage licenses and the hypocrisy
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Brooke Gross-Pantti

Daily Show Prep - Thursday September 3, 2015

• Black supremacist: It's open season on crackas
• KY clerk detained for not issuing marriage licenses, office will resume tomorrow
• TN judge uses SCOTUS decision on gay marriage to deny divorce
• Trump signs GOP loyalty pledge
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar goes after Trump, Trump fights back
• Biden says Iran using sanction relief to fund terrorism a 'totally legitimate argument'
• Hacker threatens to sell Hillary's unreleased e-mails
• Liberals go nuts over mass baptism at football practice
• Gun-grabbers urge people to call 911 when seeing someone carrying a gun
• Jobless claims rise
• A third of vets on VA's waiting list are dead
• Judge urges lawyer in NSA case to take action quickly
• Low-income workers see biggest drop in income
• Cop killer fathers corrections officer's child
• Judge lets Tom Brady play
• Feminists mad that Kermit the Frog's new girlfriend is young and thin
• Man stabs police car to send a message
• Man accidentally kills himself while taking a selfie with a gun
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Oliver Loser

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday September 2, 2015

• Obama prophesies climate nightmare
• The glacier the Dalai Bama visited started receding in 1815
• Another subsidized green energy company on the brink of going bust
• Obama gets enough Dems to secure Iran nuke deal
• Hillary wrote and sent classified e-mails on private server
• Trump: Jeb should lead by speaking English while he's in the U.S.
• Huckabee supports defiant KY clerk who stop issuing marriage licenses
• Obamacare gives new grants to Planned Parenthood
• Univision's Jorge Ramos advocates more illegals, keeps his kids from them in private school
• More than half of immigrants on welfare
• 700 out of every 1,000 UN refugees settle in America
• Protesters hit the streets of Baltimore for Freddie Gray hearings
• 15 percent of British men would have sex with a robot
• Teen gangs in Philly robbing cabbies
• Instant Karma for college student who suggested cop deserved to die
• Man's body found hanging sign in Queens
• Experts baffled over mysterious 'alien' corpse
• Cindy Crawford photo causes stir
• Daycare apologizes after workers staged 'fight club with 4-year-olds, posted videos
• New End Times: Blood moon in September signals end of the world to some
• Nice: Woman has rare condition that allows her to hear her eyeballs move
• Expert of the Day: Alan Gottlieb, Second Amendment Foundation on liberals exploiting reporter killing in VA
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Amy Moore-Bacon

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday September 1, 2015

• Obama calls for more icebreakers in the Arctic
• Climate change data not working out for global warmers
• Manhunt under way for Illinois cop killers
• Cop shot responding to burglary at wrong house
• Poll: Christie, Paul struggling
• CNN changes debate criteria under pressure from Fiorina
• Denver airport backs down, allows Chick-fil-A in
• Federal court upholds 'Big Mountain Jesus'
• Pope to 'allow' priests to forgive abortion
• Tennessee schools teaching Islamic Shahada
• Study: Right-to-work does not lower wages 
• KY clerk refuses to issue gay marriage licenses
• Teens protest transgender's use of girls' bathroom
• Expert of the Day: Brad Meltzer on his book 'I am Helen Keller'
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: One Too Many Gouldstone