Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 23, 2015

• ISIS's authentic-looking passports pose threat
• Trump tops CNN poll, Cruz a distant second
• Trump doubles down on schlong, gets help from lib commentator
• Cruz blasts WashPo for making fun of his daughters
• National Review: Whatever happened to Carly Fiorina
• Inside the Chipotle outbreak
• Officers confront Black Lives Matter mob at mall
• Most comprehensive assault on global warming yet
• Congress wants to know if Obama is still spending more on global warming than border security
• Bette Midler blames warm weather on 'ignorant selfish climate deniers'
• Green campaigner Madonna uses private jet to travel 120 miles
• Private car ownership is on the road to rarity
• Cafeteria worker fired for giving hungry student a free lunch
• Nerd alert! Fan watches Star Wars for 46 hours straight
• Pirated screener of 'Hateful Eight' traced back to Hollywood exec
• Austrian DJ punished for playing 'Last Christmas' 24 times in a row
• Dog found in Detroit 3 years after going missing in Ohio
• Smoking pot leads to worse grades
• Expert of the Day: John Guandolo, former FBI counterterrorism agent on why Muslims have been 'nearly zero help' fighting terrorism since 9/11
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Nosmo King

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 22, 2015

• San Bernardino terrorist's visa 'sloppily approved'
• NOAA sued over withheld global warming documents
• Trump says Hillary 'got schlonged' in 2008
• Cruz: 2016 is becoming a two-man race
• Hillary announces wartime urgency for Alzheimer's cure
• Trademark case could set precedent for Redskins to keep trademark on name
• 'The Slants' get to keep their name
• Oil prices lowest since 2004
• New E. coli outbreak, Chipotle stock dives
• Gene drives offer new hope against disease
• Exxon's secret climate deal
• Man jailed after threatening student over Star Wars spoiler
• Dancing burns more calories than running, swimming, or cycling
• Secret Service agent has gun and badge stolen in broad daylight
• Students sign petition to ban 'White Christmas' from radio because it's racist
• Woman chants 'ISIS is good, ISIS is great' during sex
• Expert of the Day: Craig Shirley on how the legacy of Ronald Reagan shaped the modern Republican Party

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 21, 2015

• Mullah shoots dead army vet/aid worker in Afghanistan
• Study: Polls may actually underestimate Trump's support
• Poll: Rubio beats Hillary
• The Week: Hillary and the risk of winning ugly
• Man found living at Ft. Bragg for 8 months
• Car plows into pedestrians on Vegas strip
• Lindsey Grahamnesty drops out of GOP presidential race
• John Kerry assures Iran they have nothing to worry about with tightened counter-terrorism measures
• NASA now says fossil fuels create global cooling
• Fed: State minimum wage hikes may have killed 200,000 jobs
• U. of Louisville ripped for 'whites only' ad
• Scientists discover the intelligence gene
• Brunei bans Christmas, threatens 5 years in jail for violators
• Steve Harvey crowns wrong Miss Universe
• Dozens of dogs poisoned, shot in rural Arkansas
• Man punches, robs man just involved in car accident
• Expert of the Day: Denise McAllister from the Federalist in defense of Rand Paul
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Pat May Weiner

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 18, 2015

• House approves 'Omnibust' spending bill
• How the House voted
• Senate approves 'Omnibust,' big surprise: Lindsey Grahamnesty votes for it, Rubio doesn't vote
• How the Senate voted
• Report: Raising minimum wage does not reduce reliance on government
• San Bernardino terrorist relative had sham marriage
• Gun control after the holidays
• Ken Cuccinelli endorses Cruz
• Study: NOAA relies on 'compromised' thermometers that inflate warming
• 'Climate chef' who cooked for Paris conference fined for damaging environment
• Fugitive monkey on the run because he was bullied
• High school teacher 'victimized' male students with nude photos, sex
• PC students offended by lack of fried chicken
• Movie crowd freaks out when projector breaks at Star Wars movie
• Expert of the Day: Rachel Stoltzfoos from the Daily Caller on the Ryan sell-out
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dan Druff

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 17, 2015

• GET PHIL'S NEW NOVEL TODAY
• Paul Ryan sells out the conservatives in new budget deal
• Includes $1.6 billion to resettle illegal immigrants in America
• List of what the Ryan/Obama bill funds
• Feds can't find suspected terrorists who had visas revoked
• Team led by Middle Eastern woman caught surveilling U.S facility on Mexican border
• Why this year's Christmas season is so angry
• Reuters: Trump in the lead, Cruz in second
• Enrique Marquez arrested in San Bernardino terrorist plot
• Michael Moore: 'I'm coming for Donald'
• Moore says 'We are all Muslims'
• Saudi Arabia set to execute teen for protesting
• Look back at the woman who started the Arab Spring
• Being angry in the workplace can be beneficial
• Hi-tech toilets come to China
• Study: 90% of cancer cases caused by lifestyle
• Viewer Discretion Advised: Macaulay Culkin's revenge
• Expert of the Day: Russ Read, National Security Foreign Policy reporter for The Daily Caller, on UN admitting Iran broke resolution
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Dee Zaster

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 16, 2015

• Fed raises interest rates for first time since 2006
• Cruz, Paul spar with Rubio over NSA, immigration
• Cruz remark on intelligence to be reviewed by intelligence committee
• 'King of Instagram' endorses guns, girls, and Trump
• Mistrial declared in first Freddie Gray trial
• Family asks people to remain calm
• Sen. Sessions releases list of 30 terrorists that were allowed into the U.S.
• Americans oppose a ban on 'assault weapons'
• Chattanooga shooter motivated by terrorist propaganda
• TN bill defines marriage as one man, one woman no matter what any court says
• McCain has serious primary challenger
• Suspended Secret Service officer shot to death
• Denver breaks daily snowfall record
• Man robs bank live on TV
• New Zealand flag drops the Union Jack for the fern
• Identical women from two different countries who aren't even related
• Expert of the Day: Joseph Klein, UN correspondent, on the Paris climate agreement
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Robyn Banks

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 15, 2015

• E-mail threat shuts down LA schools
• New York gets similar threat, stays open
• Hackers trace ISIS Twitter accounts back to UK government departments
• ISIS alert for Missouri
• Kids learn calligraphy by writing 'There is no god but Allah'
• Trump leads by 30 in new poll
• CNN breaks own rules to let Rand Paul in
• Featured guest at Hillary fundraiser says gay parents are bad for kids
• Well, ain't this typical? DNC wants a government bailout for their convention
• Cal Thomas: Paris climate deal nothing but hot air
• Lettuce is 'three times worse than bacon' for emissions
• Is this real? Resident worries solar farm will 'suck up all the energy from the sun'
• Retailers sound alarm bells for Christmas
• Idiots in Houston stop traffic for marriage proposal
• App lets women determine their cup size by putting their phone in their cleavage
• Woman transforms tattoo of trans son to match 'his' identity
• Melissa Harris Perry at BSNBC says Star Wars is racist
• Man busted in prostitution sting dressed as French maid
• Expert of the Day: Mike Duncan, CEO of the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity on the climate talks in Paris
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: ISIS Pharmaceuticals

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 14, 2015

• ABC News: Officials deliberately ignored social media posts of visa applicants
• Congress moves to force the checking of social media
• Trump hits a new high
• Trump's doctor: He'd be 'the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency'
• Gettin' a little chippy: Trump calls Cruz 'a little bit of a maniac'
• Quinnipiac: Trump, Cruz in virtual tie in Iowa
• Cruz campaign credits psychological data for surge
• Bowe Bergdahl to face court-martial for desertion
• Oil below $35
• Actor Kurt Russell: Gun control to stop the terrorists is 'absolutely insane'
• Preacher on trial for insulting Islam...in the UK
• ISIS images found on phones of refugees in Norway
• Maryland man charged with supporting ISIS
• British sniper kills 5 ISIS terrorists with 3 shots
• Judicial Watch sues State Dept. over refugee program
• Texas plumber sues after work truck sold to ISIS
• Obama makes 'paper tiger' climate deal in Paris
• New illegals center has indoor pool
• Global markets selling shrimp peeled by slaves
• Uncle Phil predicted it: Canadian fresh air hot item in China
• Bill Cosby fires back with lawsuit of his own
• Amazon pulls hoverboards over fire hazard
• Thai man may go to prison for insulting the king's dog
• Man offers sign-carrying panhandler a job, he refuses, would-be boss makes his own sign
• Maine family sports Christmas display of Santa peeing on ISIS
• Dial-a-Carol and someone will sing you a Christmas song
• Odd insults from around the world
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Bad Product Name - Pee Cola

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 11, 2015

• San Bernardino shooters planned bigger attack
• ISIS may have passport printing machine
• Finland charges two refugees with terror-related murder of 11 people
• UK's chief medical officer: Obesity in woman 'as dangerous as terrorist threat'
• Imam forced to resign because he agrees with Trump on banning Muslims
• ACLU board member urges Trump supporters be shot
• Cruz emerges as Iowa's favorite
• Russia plans $40-a-barrel oil for next seven years
• The big climate change scam
• CNN staffer sues for racial discrimination
• Amazon Prime now offers one-hour alcohol delivery
• Priest paid his male 'sex master' from collection plate
• Hilarious: Pupil's innocent answer to a question about tornadoes
• Expert of the Day: Jenny Beth Martin of Tea Party Patriots on IRS wanting to collect Social Security numbers of donor at point of donation

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 10, 2015

• Sen. Sessions blows whistle on Ryan/McConnell plan to fund Syrian refugees
• San Bernardino terrorists may have been on intelligence radar after all
• Anti-Trump proposal amendment offered in Congress on Muslim issue
• Franklin Graham agrees with Trump
• Muslim NFL players condemn Trump
• Trump up in CBS poll, Cruz now second
• Nightmare for GOP establishment: Trump or Cruz
• Cruz has guts to say it: Replacing dictators in Middle East was disaster
• Harry Reid calls Justice Scalia a racist
• Why machines discriminate
• New Republic: Time to ban all guns
• Chicago protest leader wants to defund the cops
• Deserter Bowe Bergdahl likens himself to Jason Bourne
• Harrison Ford warns of 'disastrous' consequences if climate talks fail
• Evil 'Big Water' pumps aquifers dry
• Chipotle CEO apologizes, offers no info
• Hilarious Christmas mugshots
• Expert of the Day: Kevin Sali, legal expert, on hinderances in the San Bernardino investigation
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Product called 'Taste Like Grandma' Jam

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 9, 2015

• Putin threatens to nuke ISIS
• Just days ago: Police raid mosque, find ammo and ISIS propaganda
• Carter banned Iranians from coming to U.S.
• Two-thirds of Republicans back Trump's plan
• Rand Paul comes to Trump's defense
• Pew: Muslims fastest growing religious group, 70% Democrat
• Protests, recall mount against Chicago mayor
• Planned Parenthood killer yells 'I'm guilty' in court
• Volunteers intercept illegals at border, fear ISIS is crossing
• German robots to make first Adidas running shoes
• Walmart's imports from China displaced 400,000 jobs
• U.S. Navy admiral fired after found wandering in a hotel naked
• Gun store sign: Want to piss off Obama? Buy a gun.
• Dad, son stole $41,000 in chicken wings from restaurant
• Expert of the Day: Leslie Paige from Citizens Against Government Waste on a possible government shutdown on Friday
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Man arrested for trespassing at Budweiser plant - Man's name was Bud Weisser

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 8, 2015

• All the places you can buy Phil's new novel, The God Players
• FBI: San Bernardino killers long radicalized
• Bank records show $28,500 deposited in Farook's account two weeks before shooting
• Suspect's mom had suspicious items in car
• Florida mayor jokes about banning Trump from his city
• Philly mayor more serious about banning Trump
• Bob Dole slams Trump, Cruz for being extreme
• E-mail proves forces could've helped in Benghazi but were never used
• Oil prices could hit $20
• OPEC trying to kill fracking
• TN lawmakers consider pulling funding for UT 'diversity' office
• Google chairman wants algorithms to censor Internet for hate speech
• Vet's mom forced to sell Obama letter to cover medical bills
• SCOTUS ponders 'one person, one vote' case
• Peak carbon? CO2 emissions stall for second year in a row
• Boston Chipotle closed down after 30 students fall ill
• Anti-smoking zealot claims eCigs are 'against our culture'
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Wendy Wacko

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 7, 2015

• Surprise! ISIS has targeted refugee program to enter U.S.
• 72 DHS employees on terror watch list
• Jerry Falwell, Jr. causes stir by telling the truth
• Trump calls for a 'total and complete' ban on Muslims entering the U.S.
• Americans stock up on weapons after California shooting
• San Bernardino shooter was a self-professed liberal
• Supreme Court won't hear challenge to Chicago suburb's assault weapons ban
• Top ISIS leader in Libya taken out by missile strike
• Ted Cruz takes the lead in Iowa
• Trump lashes out at billionaire Jeff Bezos
• Climate scientists turn to religion for recruits
• Climate skeptics branded as criminals in Paris
• Beijing issues first smog red alert, has nothing to do with CO2
• Kinky: 91-year-old woman suffocates during sex game
• Clothing firm apologizes for advertising lingerie with picture of Hitler
• George Zimmerman's ex reacts to his posting of nude pictures of her
• Petition demands Adele admit she's only successful because she's white
• Fox analyst suspended for calling Obama a 'pussy'
• Expert of the Day: Ken Clark, Southeast regional director for the Convention of States on why a constitutional convention is the only way to stop a runaway Congress
• Should women be assigned to combat? Veteran Jude Eden says no.
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Professor Stef Craps

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 4, 2015

• It's official: FBI says San Bernardino shooting was act of terrorism
• SB shooter pledged allegiance to ISIS
• The FBI releases photo of Malik
• Journalists storm Bernardino shooter's apartment
• Then BSNBC apologizes
• CNN reporter asks White House about vetting for SB terrorist
• CNN's Erin Burnett wonders if 'postpartum psychosis' led to slaughter
• The crazies come out with 'crisis actor' claim for San Bernardino
• Loretta Lynch vows to prosecute those who use 'anti-Muslim' speech
• Crazy liberal professor blames the NRA for San Bernardino
• Convicted American terrorist wants to come back to U.S. to work on 'social justice issues'
• Bellwether county goes for Trump
• CNN: Trump with 20-point lead
• Zuckerberg still having to explain his generosity to the libs
• Illinois school compromises with Ed. Dept. over cross-dresser in girl's locker room
• Small amount of pot can cause psychosis
• Chipotle E.coli outbreak spreads
• Expert of the Day: David French from National Review on police militarization
• Rachel Stoltzfoos on Obama's plan to trigger gun control with executive order
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: The Aikin/Johnson wedding

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 3, 2015

• Terror might have been a motive in CA killing. You think?
• Political correctness got us killed again
• Timeline of events in San Bernardino
• Senator's message about 'thoughts and prayers' angers some
• Media push activists' count of mass shootings this year
• Common sense: Sheriff Joe calls on citizens to arm themselves and stop the terrorists
• Texas sues to block Syrian refugees
• Reuters poll: Trump still on top
• Black pastors endorse Trump
• More than 179,000 criminal illegals roaming the U.S.
• Report says Secret Service in crisis
• Obama's Organizing for Action: Call out the climate deniers
• Zuckerberg pledges to give his fortune away, libs call him a tax avoider
• UT's Office of Diversity and Inclusion warns students and faculty to not hold Christmas parties
• Expert of the Day: Dan Kish of the Institute for Energy Research on the rising cost of energy
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Ken Molestina

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 2, 2015

• Another mass shooting, this one in San Bernardino
• Trump dominates in national Quinnipiac poll, Rubio now in second
• Debt soars by $674 billion in one month!
• Record high snow cover for December 1
• As Obama meets in Paris, Congress undoes his global warming agenda
• France's top weatherman finds new job in Russia after being fired for not buying global warming hype
• Prince Charles demands 'North Korean-style' conditions for interviews
• Sean Penn: Climate deniers were invented by Fox News
• Solar gets 326 times more subsidies than fossil fuels
• Members of Parliament vote for air strikes against ISIS
• Russia once again accuses Turkish president of involvement with ISIS oil
• French economist says income inequality created ISIS
• UnitedHealth CEO regrets entering Obamacare marketplace
• Twitter threats against black students turn out to be by black alum
• Study: Worry can knock five years off your life
• 'No can do' is racist, you pig
• NEA president refers to mentally retarded kids as 'chronically tarded'
• Too fat to have sex
• Expert of the Day: Kyle Fedlscher, reporter with the Washington Examiner, new ethanol requirements could hurt your car's engine
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Woo-suk Hwang

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 1, 2015

• Sen. Sessions: Omnibus bill gives Obama blank check on refugees, immigration
• Trump insists 'most' black pastors endorsing him
• Black pastors clash on CNN over meeting with Trump
• Herman Cain to speak at Trump rally
• Anti-ISIS coalition falling apart
• Obama's climate change motorcade cost us $784,825
• CNN: Global warming is terrorism
• Obama says island nations could disappear because of climate change
• Flashback: Only 20 percent of islands are shrinking
• State Department 'troubled' by Moscow's move against Soros group
• People on edge: Man mentions ISIS, freaks out store employees
• What's he smokin'? Obama says mass shootings never happen in other countries
• White Chicago preacher holds prayer apologizing on behalf of his 'white brethren'
• Rich catch hell for charitable giving
• Nashville halts gun shows at fairgrounds
• Detroit police chief says citizens carrying guns makes city safer from terrorist attack
• Feds spent $375,000 studying the dating habits of seniors
• Leonardo DiCaprio raped by bear in new movie
• Woman who posted her dog with his mouth duct-taped shut charged with animal cruelty
• Expert of the Day: Michael Pregent on Obama putting global warming ahead of terrorism