Daily Show Prep - Thursday January 7, 2016

• Dow has worst four-day start to a year on record
• Soros: It's the 2008 crisis all over again
• TransCanada sues U.S. over Keystone XL Pipeline
• Ted Cruz denies having a Canadian passport
• They all pile on Cruz
• Bill Clinton avoids reporter's questions about woman he allegedly raped
• Oil falls again to lowest level in 11 years
• Alabama sues feds over refugee program
• Cher calls for Michigan governor to be executed
• Crazy 'false flag' professor, who says Sandy Hook never happened, fired
• 'Affluenza' teen's mom arrives in Texas
• Shocker (sarcasm): Women 3 times more likely than men to say they're bisexual
• Red wine, they say, is bad for you after all
• Lawsuit: Fitbit heart rate tracking dangerously inaccurate
• The definition of white trash: Man proposes to fiancee at Walmart, steals sex toys for her
• Israeli reporter stabbed testing stab-proof vest
• Mapco stations in Nashville close due to contaminated gas
• Actor Mike Rowe mistaken for suspected bank robber
• News crew robbed while attending anti-robbery press conference in D.C.
• Greyhound driver strands passengers to take nap at hotel
• Man with a lemon phobia shoots his friend when he taunts him with the fruit
• Man punches disabled vet because he wouldn't let his daughter pet his service dog
• Are we this starved for entertainment? Woman becomes sensation smashing face into bread
• Judge rules against monkey in selfie case
• New app alerts women to stop saying 'sorry' at work
• Expert of the Day: David Harsanyi of The Federalist says Steven Avery of 'Making a Murderer' is 'guilty as hell'
• Cursed at Birth, The Most Unfortunate Name of the Day: Japanese magazine for elderly men-OilyBoy