Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 19, 2019

• Pelosi holds up articles of impeachment until Senate can guarantee a fair trial
• Senate leaving town without a deal on witnesses
• Talk show canceled when host jokes he wished for a school shooting to interrupt the monotony of impeachment
• Trump announces Van Drew will switch to the Republicans
• House passes Trump's USMCA
• Gov. Lee announces we'll accept Syrian refugees
• Gov. Lee's statement on refugees
• Flashback: 'Refugee' turned out to be an ISIS terrorist
• AG Barr focuses on 7 most violent cities
• Surveillance footage from outside Epstein's cell comes up missing
• Ted Cruz uses 'Lobbyist Boondoggle' spending bill as ashtray
• J.K. Rowling faces backlash after backing researcher who refused to recognize crossdresser as a woman
• Iowa man gets 16 years in prison for ripping down a gay pride flag
• British psychotherapist says calling someone a 'nerd' or 'geek' should be a hate crime
• Pierce Brosnan praises Trump
• Chico State professor says college Republican's freedom of speech is 'poison,' wants to protect snowflake students from them
• Senate passes bill banning sale of tobacco to anyone under 21
• Kim Kardashian denies use of 'blackface' on mag cover
• Libs go nuts over Trump's 'disgusting' John Dingell crack
• Scientist carves ginger bread house smaller than a human hair
• Doorbell camera catches man pooping all over front porch
• Study: Most people are environmental snobs