Daily Show Prep - Friday March 29, 2019

• AG Barr says redacted Mueller report will be released by mid-April
• Crazed Trump-deranged woman kicked off plane for berating Trump supporter
• Federal spending hits highest level since bank bailout
• Mother of all caravans heading our way
• Trump threatens to shut the border next week
• Deporting illegals is top priority for Republicans
• John Bolton warns Russia on presence in Venezuela
• They got to Rahm. He's pivoted to blaming Trump for Smollett fake hate crime.
• Walmart closing 11 stores
• Dick's lost millions over anti-gun policies
• More bad news for SPLC
• White people's eating habits destroying the planet
• Plastic bag ban close to reality in third state
• TN to ban banning plastic bags
• Airline passenger has meltdown over Pepsi
• Wolf Blitzer: 'So poor and so black'
• Guests: Bill Cuomo and Jonathan Bradford talk about their audiobook/musical The Shipwrecked Souls

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 28, 2019

• Trump hits 50 percent in Rasmussen poll
• Biden leads Dem field by double digits
• Holder doesn't think America was ever great
• Twitter considering labeling Trump tweets that violate the rules
• TX mayor who said there was no border crisis asks for government's help with border crisis
• Politico claims it's not a crisis, despite giving stats to the contrary
• SCOTUS upholds Trump's bump stock ban
• Journalism instructor compares YAF to the KKK
• GOP on House Intelligence Committee call for Schiff's resignation
• 'Captain America' says he'll 'cut ties' with Tom Brady if he's a Trump supporter
• Racism: Only black reporters allowed in Ga. mayoral race event
• Facebook charged with racial discrimination in targeted housing ads
• Snowflake Editorial: TN is a racist state
• Smollett up for NCCPC award
• Lawyer now says 'attackers' may have been in white face
• Rahm to bill Smollett for police costs
• Hollywood actors threaten to boycott Ga. if 'heartbeat' bill becomes law
• Great video that kills the global warming theory
• SWAT called after mom decides not to take kid to ER
• Sword-wielding man shot dead at Ca. Church of Scientology
• Trailer for movie 'Yesterday'
• More on the movie

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 27, 2019

• Trump may attend this year's correspondents' dinner
• Adam Schiffless still insists Trump colluded with Russia
• BSNBC's Trump-Russia ratings fizzle
• CBP commissioner: Immigration system at 'breaking point'
• Trump says he can come up with better healthcare plan than Obamacare
• AOC equates CO2 to dirty air and water
• Biden attacks America's 'white man culture'
• Judge blocks Trump's Medicaid work requirements
• Google continues to help China with censored search engine
• Barbara Bush blamed her heart attack on Trump
• Helicopter lands in poppy field during super bloom and officials are furious
• $125 million lawsuit filed against Weather Channel in storm chasers' fatal wreck
• Man arrested for pleasuring himself on women's underwear he stole from dryer
• Apartments in country clubs selling for as low as $1

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 26, 2019

• Republicans play right into Democrats' hands on release of Mueller report
• Glenn Greenwald rips BSNBC, CNN
• Papadopoulos says FBI tried to get him to wear a wire
• March Madness? Phtt. How about Mueller Madness?
• Alyssa Milano's anti-Trump website quietly goes away
• House fails to override Trump's veto of anti-national emergency bill
• Nobody votes for Green New Deal in Senate
• DOJ sides with court ruling Obamacare invalid
• Jussie Smollett charges dropped, record wiped clean
• Nashville mayor announces 10,000 new affordable housing units
• NY county declares measles emergency, bans unvaccinated from public
• Creepy porn stars says there's more to come on creepy porn lawyer
• Obama cautions freshman House class on price tag of liberal policies
• Apple-backed SPLC called a 'con' for 'bilking gullible liberals'
• Trump signs executive order to protect us from EMP attack
• Wikipedia editors were paid to protect political and media figures
• TN lawmakers clarify Appalachia pronunciation
• Amazon selling child sex dolls
• Tony Romo wants $10 million-a-year to stay at CBS
• Men's group offers men-only cuddling

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 25, 2019

• Come meet Phil Valentine in Fayetteville, NC
• List of Mueller media bombshells that were lies
• Kellyanne: Schiff needs to resign over Russia hoax
• Dems move to Plan B
• Mad Maxine: This is not the end of anything
• Creepy porn lawyer arrested for trying to extort money from Nike
• CNN legal analyst said to be co-conspirator
• Flashback: Avenatti karma
• DHS data show growing surge of illegals at border
• 22 illegals pour out of pickup truck after traffic stop
• Lamar Alexander actually believes in climate change and has a plan to stop it
• Rut-row: Famous retreating glacier is now growing again
• Butt-hurt snowflakes charged with setting fire to conservative activist's dorm room
• Study: Boys and girls really are born to be different
• Transgender 'men' can still get pregnant
• Pot-related ER visits triple in CO after legalization
• Man robs victim of rented scooter
• Mom chokes to death while doing party trick for family
• Family behind Krispy Kreme admits Nazi ties

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 22, 2019

• CNN admits Mueller report is 'huge victory for the president'
• 5 things the didn't happen in the Mueller investigation
• Text messages show DOJ official had 'continued concerns' about FBI's FISA app
• Trump blames Fed for holding back growth
• Monthly deficit hits record $234 billion
• DHS to release almost 2,000 illegals because they can't legally hold them
• 'Medieval' diseases flare as unsanitary conditions proliferate
• Trump decides no new sanctions against NoKo
• Princeton students ask for reparations for schools role in slavery
• 'American Political Thought' course removes all white men from curriculum
• Twitter engineer on pro-Trump tweets: You just delete them
• Ed Rendell sounds alarm for 2020
• Rep. Omar has been holding secret fundraisers with groups tied to terrorism
• China takes ethnic cleansing to a new level
• Lyft, Uber drivers push to unionize
• Instagram to block anti-vaccine hashtags
• San Antonio bans Chick-fil-A from airport citing anti-GBLT behavior
• Teachers shot with pellets during active shooter drill

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 21, 2019

• ISIS caliphate is officially crushed in Syria
• Trump says the public should see 'ridiculous' Mueller report
• Hillary discussed classified foreign policy matters with Israel
• Nashville ATV driver who dragged cop has lengthy rap sheet
• ICE drops 3 busloads of illegals at bus station
• Immigration courts are backlogged
• CNN contributor says Trump never called Neo-Nazis 'fine people'
• Rep. Mark Green introduces amendment to stop Dems from packing SCOTUS
• Biden advisors consider Stacey Abrams as running mate
• Trump signs executive order protecting free speech on college campuses
• Judge halts hundreds of drilling projects over climate change
• Kellyanne Conway scolds her husband publicly
• Google is helping China's military and our Joint Chiefs chairman doesn't like it
• MS guv signs 'heartbeat bill'
• DoubleTree Hotels apologizes, fires employees after refusing service to military members
• CNSNews: Nancy's 'Equality Act' would be disastrous to Americans' freedoms
• More than a third of New Yorkers say they can't afford to live there
• Students say that offensive speech is not free speech
• SpaceX will blast people across the Atlantic in less than 30 minutes
• Obama picks Duke to beat Carolina in NCAA tournament
• Woman rapes ex-boyfriend while wielding a machete
• Guest: Josh Siegel from the Washington Examiner on a climate change proposal Republicans might agree to

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 20, 2019

• Ukraine opens investigation into election interference to help Hillary
• Border agents apprehend over 400 illegals
• Border Patrol says detention centers are full, starts releasing illegals
• Ca. National Guard leaves border
• Illegal released by De Blasio bites of ICE agent's finger
• Police nab the idiot on the ATV
• Trump calls Mr. Kellyanne 'husband from hell'
• Kellyanne sides with Trump
• NZ goes all out to censor coverage of mosque shooting
• Journalist claims Twitter testing more extreme shadowban
• Beto O'Rourke ate dirt after losing to Ted Cruz
• Study claims more than one reality exists
• Couple whipped in Indonesia for breaking Sharia law
• Robert Kraft rejects plea deal, moves to suppress video
• Ex-spa owner denies selling access to Trump
• People who smoke pot daily 5 times more likely to develop a psychotic disorder
• Harvard sued over profiting from slave photos
• ABC News covers super bloom, ignores end of Ca. drought
• University pushes to give plants and animals the same rights as humans
• Maine house votes to change Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day
• Catholic priest accused of groping woman during last rites
• Guest: Dr. Jerome Corsi, target of Mueller investigation, has written a book about his experience

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 19, 2019

• U.S. forces reduce ISIS to few hundred square yards
• Notice how CNN reports on terrorists being captured but not mention of ISIS being reduced to are the size of a football field
• Dem candidate promises $1,000 a month to every adult
• Wants news czar and taxpayer support of newspapers
• Liz Warren pitches over $100 trillion in new spending during town hall
• Sen. Graham goes off on Dems who want to abolish Electoral College
• Fired ESPN host says Electoral College was designed to preserve slavery
• Chinese-Americans see ghost of communism in socialist Dems
• SCOTUS rules in favor of Trump administration in immigrant detention case
• Trump finally fires back at Mr. Kellyanne Conway
• Fox News spins off from old Fox empire, Paul RINO on board of directors
• For the first time more household subscribe to streaming than traditional TV
• Government offering $1,000 to anyone adopting a wild horse
• Robert Kraft offered plea deal in prostitution case
• Lawyers who took on Big Tobacco take aim at realtors' 6 percent commission
• The hate hustlers of the Southern Poverty Law Center
• With all the graffiti in NY this is the man they bust
• Delta tops new list of best airlines
• Taco Bell hot sauce saves yet another life
• The book on global warming that Phil was talking about

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 18, 2019

• New PodGOATs episode is out!
• Libs waste no time blaming New Zealand terror attack on Trump
• Officer dragged by ATV in downtown Nashville
• Group planned 'Murfreesboro takeover'
• Lisa Page's testimony shows collusion between Obama DOJ and FBI to influence election
• Foreign government official offered Hillary campaign dirt on Trump
• 71 percent think economy is in good shape, and Trump gets most of the credit
• More New Yorkers view Trump more favorably than AOC
• Washington State senate passes bill requiring Trump to release taxes in order to be on 2020 ballot
• Trump urges Fox News to bring back Judge Jeanine after her comments about Rep. Omar
• Muslim CNN guest rips narrative that Trump is Islamophobic
• Nigerian Muslims slaughter 120 Christians, but MSM refuse to cover the story
• New Zealand PM vows stricter gun control after mosque attack
• Rep. Nunes sues Twitter for $250 million
• DJTJ: Big Tech continues to target conservatives
• 5 MS-13 members charged with stabbing teen 100 times
• Pot, meet kettle: Kellyanne's husband says Trump is narcissistic
• Kellyanne Conway addresses her husbands obsessive tweets about Trump
• CNN questions Trump's mental health
• Trump trails most socialists in Wisconsin poll
• Warner Bros. chief out because of sexual misconduct
• White House wants to cap student borrowing
• Sheila Jackson Lee beats tired drum of reparations
• 'Super Bloom' tourists cause 'safety crisis'
• Scientists claim to have unmasked Jack the Ripper

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 8, 2019

• House passes bill endorsing illegals voting
• Illegals stack up along Rio Grande
• Alabama: Illegals should not be counted in census
• Job growth comes to a screeching halt
• But unemployment is down and wages are up
• White House prepares for Mueller report
• Bill Shine out at White House
• Trump says Cohen lied under oath, asked him directly for pardon
• Rep. Omar trashes Obama: 'Hope and change was a mirage'
• Kids to go on 'climate strike'
• Your local weathercaster is getting more political
• Jussie Smollett charged with 16 felonies
• Iranian hackers steal data from White House contractor
• Tax collectors chase rich New Yorkers moving to low-tax states
• NC teachers who carry guns to school could get more pay under new bill
• VA hires embattle doctor, patient 'gutted like a fish'
• Zuckerberg has 'secret panic chute' underneath conference room
• On International Women's Day Putin thanks women for staying beautiful
• Dalai Lama says women empathize, men kill
• Judge removes block to military transgender ban
• Transgender cycling champ says excluding trans from women's sports is like excluding blacks
• Taylor Swift to get more political
• Cowboys defensive lineman quits because NFL won't let him smoke pot
• Man storms Taco Bell, makes his own pizza

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 7, 2019

• New episode of Phil's podcast is out: Twistory
• Judge throws out Stormy's lawsuit against Trump
• Illegal immigration on pace to triple 2017 levels
• Dems add every group under the sun to anti-hate resolution
• Dems fear targeting Trump's kids could backfire
• Anvil Joe to announce presidential run in April
• Already under fire for '70s talk on desegregation
• Sen. Sherrod Brown will not run
• Manafort sentenced to 47 months
• Philly bans cashless stores
• Bryce Harper signed with the Phillies instead of Ca. teams because of taxes
• Facebook cracks down on anti-vaxxers
• 'Whites have rights' billboard sparks outrage
• Children, not husbands and employers, are the reason women earn less
• Dems probe if Trump tried to stop AT&T/Time Warner merger
• Alan Dershowitz implicated in Jeffrey Epstein sex ring
• Stalker breaks into Taylor Swift's apartment
• Billionaire diamond trader dies during penis enlargement surgery
• Government-funded art project pays worker to do nothing rest of their life

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 6, 2019

• Brennan thinks Mueller indictments are coming on Friday
• Border invasion worse than ever
• Ca. congressman attacks DHS secretary over asylum
• Women go on 'birthstrike' because of climate change
• Why Christians are giving up plastic for Lent
• The U.S. only 'mismanages' 2 percent of its plastic
• And then there's Glitter Ash Wednesday
• Whole Foods cuts workers' hours after instituting $15 minimum wage
• U.S. posts record trade gap with China
• Steve King: Fact-checking the NY Times
• Man accused of punching Berkeley conservative pleads not guilty
• iPhone sales are falling
• Michael Jackson ban spreads to radio stations around the world
• Milo denied entry into Australia
• Georgia police expert on DUI arrested...for DUI
• Guest: David Maxwell from the Foundation for Defense of Democracies on the recent summit with NoKo

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 5, 2019

• Border rush may hit 100,000 in March
• Hillary rules out 2020 run
• House Dems to seek 10 years of Trump's tax returns
• Almost two-thirds believe Trump committed crimes before entering office
• Senate holds hearings on vaccines
• Another study finds vaccine's don't cause autism
• Teen defied mom and got vaccinated
• Pompeo warns China on the Philippines
• UK blocks free online porn
• TN ranks 47th lowest taxed state
• Top black Dem rejects reparations
• Montreal radio stations stop playing Michael Jackson music
• Rio Carnival reveller stuns crowd with Michael Jackson costume
• College dean resigns over schools ban of Chick-fil-A
• CO drops lawsuit against Christian baker
• NY paid vacation law could cost companies $1.6 billion a year
• Scientists think they've found gene that will double lifespan
• Man tries to fly back from FL with an RPG launcher
• Gunman enters Taco Bell, threatens customers, gets pistol-whipped with own gun

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 4, 2019

• House launches another witch hunt
• Here are the 81 names the Dems want info from
• Nunes says Cohen dispelled Trump-Russia collusion behind closed doors, wants transcripts released
• Hillary thinks we're in a 'full-fledge crisis in our democracy'
• And claims she lost WI because voters were turned away 'because of the color of their skin'
• DJTJ: The left hates Trump much more than it loves America
• Top 9 moments from Trump's CPAC speech
• Libertarian website says Trump may have just won the 2020 race with that speech
• SNL slams Trump hugging the flag
• Biden associate says Trump's 'reclaim our heritage' reminds her of Hitler, but...
• GOP lawmaker blasts Trump for 'unconstitutional' emergency declaration
• Senate will pass resolution blocking emergency declaration
• Rand Paul to vote against Trump
• Soaking the rich gaining more ground with Dems
• Socialism is all the rage
• Yet millennial fans don't even know what it is
• The cult of the left
• 25 percent think a socialist president is a good idea
• Idiot leftists upset that Va. first lady offered cotton to students
• NBC poll says Dems considered mainstream by majority of Americans
• Trump says he'll sign executive order ensuring free speech on college campuses
• Another 'heartbeat bill' gains momentum
• WashPo issues lengthy correction over Covington kids confrontation
• AOC leaves parade in gas-guzzling van
• Her chief of staff is accused of diverting campaign funds to his own private companies
• Her mother moved to Florida to escape high taxes
• So-called fact-checker running cover for Green New Deal
• Denver experiences coldest early March in 60 years
• Judge refuses to fast-track ISIS bride's citizenship case
• Internet turns 30, and, no, Al Gore didn't invent it
• Mercedes-Benz Stadium goes cashless
• World's top bridge player suspended for doping
• Guest: Eddie Scarry from the Washington Examiner says AOC and BernMe long for white socialism

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 1, 2019

• Washington State's climate change guv runs for president
• Trump demands Congress look at Cohen's 'love letter to Trump' book proposal
• Pelosi warns moderate Dems to stop voting with GOP
• The Dems turn dramatically left
• Rolling Stone mag gushes over liberal women running Congress
• Trump says comments about Otto Warmbier were misinterpreted
• MyPillow CEO says Trump was chosen by God
• Warren Buffett and Bill Gates think rich should pay more taxes and they have a plan
• How much would baseball's Bryce Harper owe the tax man under AOC's plan?
• Disgraced former Nashville mayor lands teaching gig
• For the first time in 132 years L.A. never reached 70 degrees in February
• So much for the groundhog: March roars in with coast-to-coast snow
• Family of rapper riddled with 25 bullets by police sue
• 5'5" 135-pound woman wants to be first female player in NFL
• U.S. reissues travel warnings for Bahamas
• Ex-trans man now identifies as 'agender alien'
• Prince Harry and Meghan will raise their baby gender fluid
• NBA player to spend $100 million on Iron Man suit