Daily Show Prep - Friday March 8, 2019

• House passes bill endorsing illegals voting
• Illegals stack up along Rio Grande
• Alabama: Illegals should not be counted in census
• Job growth comes to a screeching halt
• But unemployment is down and wages are up
• White House prepares for Mueller report
• Bill Shine out at White House
• Trump says Cohen lied under oath, asked him directly for pardon
• Rep. Omar trashes Obama: 'Hope and change was a mirage'
• Kids to go on 'climate strike'
• Your local weathercaster is getting more political
• Jussie Smollett charged with 16 felonies
• Iranian hackers steal data from White House contractor
• Tax collectors chase rich New Yorkers moving to low-tax states
• NC teachers who carry guns to school could get more pay under new bill
• VA hires embattle doctor, patient 'gutted like a fish'
• Zuckerberg has 'secret panic chute' underneath conference room
• On International Women's Day Putin thanks women for staying beautiful
• Dalai Lama says women empathize, men kill
• Judge removes block to military transgender ban
• Transgender cycling champ says excluding trans from women's sports is like excluding blacks
• Taylor Swift to get more political
• Cowboys defensive lineman quits because NFL won't let him smoke pot
• Man storms Taco Bell, makes his own pizza