Daily Show Prep - Thursday October 31, 2019

• House passes first impeachment vote
• NSC top official says there was nothing illegal about Trump call
• Pompeo says Trump-Zelensky call was consistent with administration policy
• Republicans want Schiff to confirm name of 'whistleblower'
• Nation's education report card is out
• NAEP interactive rankings
• Zuckerberg defends Facebook's ad policy
• Katie Hill blames 'misogynistic culture' and 'double standard' for her political downfall
• Advocates sue to stop Trump's proclamation that requires immigrants to have health insurance
• Televangelist Paula White joins White House staff
• Ga. lawmaker wants to make it a felony to aid a minor's transgender surgery
• NC sheriff ignored ICE detainer, released child molester back into public
• Catherine Herridge moves from Fox News to CBS News
• Police call over student because he 'triggered' another student with his costume
• Idiot flies over bicycle's handlebars after trying to open beer on front wheel
• Activists sail four weeks across Atlantic for climate change summit only to learn it was canceled
• Kamala campaign staffer dresses up as Cory Booker for Halloween
• Reese's Peanut Butter Cups top poll of America's favorite Halloween candy

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday October 30, 2019

• Read Phil's newspaper column explaining the Barr investigation
• We may have our whistleblower
• Rep. Gaetz files ethics complaint against Schiff
• Forensics expert says Jeffrey Epstein was murdered
• Obama slams 'woke' culture
• Twitter bans all political advertising
• Facebook slammed by CNN for including Breitbart as news source
• Former NBA and Alabama player among those arrested in sex trafficking sting
• Libs go nuts over Photoshopped picture of Trump giving hero dog a medal
• Liz Warren says she's flying 'mostly' commercial to fight climate change
• Explosion in Antarctic sea ice may cause another ice age
• Judge rules against sheriff who put 'no trick-or-treat' signs in sex offenders' yards
• Debbie What's-her-name-Schultz calls Cuccinelli a white supremacist
• Kamala's lost an engine as her plane spirals toward Earth
• Has the FBI opened an investigation into Ilhan Omar?
• Saudi woman arrested for dancing
• Guest: Scott Whitlock from Newsbusters on network news increasingly using anonymous sources

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday October 29, 2019

• Dems release impeachment resolution rules
• NJ Dem says he'll likely vote against impeachment resolution
• House Dems now say EU ambassador committed perjury
• Mainstream Media insist on referring to Ukrainian question as 'unfounded conspiracy theory'
• Most of network news coverage pushes claims by anonymous sources
• Mainstream media claim calling someone a 'Never Trumper' is an attack
• Max Boot changes WashPo column after insinuating Baghdadi was courageous
• Head of Biden's new Super PAC is a registered foreign agent
• Biden denied communion because of abortion stance
• Kamala says Katie Hill is the real victim
• Beto drops to 1 percent in Iowa poll
• Says Baghdadi raid happened despite Trump
• Michelle Obama claims white folks are afraid to live in black neighborhoods
• Pastor and radio host accused of child sexual assault offs himself
• Climate change-touting mayors don't disclose flooding threat when selling bonds
• Al Gore to hold another '24 Hours of Reality' global climate crisis presentation
• John Legend, Kelly Clarkson record PC version of 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'
• Storytime Together with Drag Queens draws criticism 

Daily Show Prep - Monday October 28, 2019

• Trump defends not informing Congress prior to Baghdadi raid
• WashPo called Baghdadi 'austere religious scholar'
• Kurds provided U.S. with Baghdadi's underwear
• Trump considering releasing parts of the video of Baghdadi raid
• Parents of aid worker murdered by ISIS praise Trump
• Media worried that Trump might benefit from Baghdadi death
• House to vote on impeachment inquiry
• Barr rebuffs Dem criticism that he's 'weaponizing' the DOJ
• 16 arrested in human trafficking sting in Rutherford County
• Jim Cramer says performance of luxury brands show economy's in great shape
• Rep. Katie Hill resigns, claims to be a victim of revenge porn
• Blames everybody but herself
• AOC blames 'predominantly white' companies for killing 'predominantly black and brown' people with hurricanes
• 26 percent feel unsafe living next to Trump supporter
• 70 percent of millennials will vote for socialism
• Biden says Trump's supporters like him because he's a racist
• Defamation lawsuit by Covington, KY teen against WashPo can go forward, judge says
• 'Models' flash pitcher at World Series game
• Rapper kicks fan off stage when he refuses to say 'F**k Trump'
• Grandmother killed during 'gender reveal' explosion
• Mother punches 10-year-old son when he wouldn't stop playing video game

Daily Show Prep - Friday October 25, 2019

• Review of origins of Russia probe becomes criminal investigation
• Senators release more Strzok texts
• Flashback: Professor who supposedly told Trump advisor about 'dirt' on Hillary denied it
• Another Flashback: Rep. Jim Jordan lays out the whole Prof. Mifsud story back in July
• Schiff, Nadler criticize Durham for elevating Russiagate probe to criminal investigation
• Leftists want to impeach Barr before he uncovers the truth
• IG Horowitz FISA abuse report almost done
• Judge orders DOJ to release Mueller grand jury material
• Gen. Flynn's lawyer said he was trapped
• Rudy butt-dials NBC reporter, leaves message about needing money
• Trump dismisses need for impeachment team
• MLB ump apologizes for tweet about buying assault rifle over impeachment inquiry
• Kanye says his supporting Trump is 'God's practical joke to all liberals'
• China slams Pence
• Rep. Andy Biggs: China wants to silence me
• Tarantino refuses to give in to the Chinese
• Kellyanne Conway says she didn't threaten reporter
• 27 nations pledge $10 billion to fight climate change
• Guest: President Trump's spiritual advisor talks about Trump's religious side

Daily Show Prep - Thursday October 24, 2019

• Senate Republicans introduce resolution condemning House impeachment probe
• CNN commentator compares Republicans trying to crash impeachment hearing to Klan
• Facebook, Twitter, and Trump blamed for incivility
• Trump campaign buys Biden's Latino slogan website
• Hunter Biden was hired to run interference for corrupt Romanian tycoon
• Anita Hill ready to hold Biden accountable for Clarence Thomas hearing
• Tim Ryan drops out of 2020 presidential race
• Update: Judge reverses decision on allowing mother to turn 7-year-old boy into girl
• Pence takes aim at China
• Judge tells Extinction Rebellion protester to get a job and pay for damage to war memorial
• Nearly half of Americans think Dems have moved too far to the left
• Over half of Americans think Constitution too lenient on hate speech
• CNN president open to hiring Shep Smith
• Springsteen: Trump 'doesn't have a grasp' on what it means to be an American
• Rep. Al Green thinks Facebook's new currency is racist
• City of Albuquerque sends Trump campaign $211,000 bill
• After soccer player's hijab slips off fellow players huddle around her
• Guest: Dr. Paul Nathanson on his book Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday October 23, 2019

• Trump lifts all sanctions against Turkey
• GOP lawmakers storm closed-door impeachment hearing, demand access
• At least 5 House Dems used 'lynching' to describe Clinton impeachment
• Judge orders State Dept. to release Ukraine records
• Ambassador Bill Taylor works with Burisma-backed think tank
• Biden claims booming economy because of 'Barack and me'
• Barr and Durham's Rome trip reportedly uncovers new evidence
• Barr unveils plan to target violently mentally ill to stop mass shootings
• Susan Rice calls Lindsey Graham 'a piece of sh**'
• Reddit co-founder presses Congress for paid paternity leave
• Shaq supports Rockets' GM on Hong Kong
• Beto compares Trump to Nazi Germany
• Trump prepares to formally remove U.S. from Paris Climate Accord
• Senate rejects Dem efforts to repeal SALT rule 
• Dem congressman denies sexual relationship with staffer
• 39 found dead in UK transfer truck
• Idiot journalists think they can trademark 'fake news'
• Paul McCartney does music video for PETA
• Mass. bill would make it illegal to call someone a bitch
• Snowden says he's found no evidence of aliens in government databases
• Washing your hands is the best way to stop spread of E. coli
• Reporter fired after damaging classic cars during live report from car show
• Man had sex with stuffed animals at Target
• Bed, Bath & Beyond pulls black jack-o'-lanterns because they're 'racially insensitive'
• Jack Daniel's World Championship Invitational BBQ in Lynchburg

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday October 22, 2019

• Tonight's premiere of Phil Valentine's The Haunted Cabin at 8pm Central
• LWM go nuts over Trump's use of the word 'lynching'
• Sen. Graham backs Trump's use of the word
• But it's apparently OK to compare Trump to a cross-burning Klansman
• Brennan may be in Barr's crosshairs
• New gene-editing technology could correct 89 percent of genetic defects
• Sanitary napkins maker dropping female symbol after protests from transgenders
• Chuck Schumer continues to push for tax cut for the rich
• Vegan traumatized after eating plant-based pizza with real ham
• Macy's and Bloomingdale's announce ban on fur sales
• Trump resistance mole to publish 'tell-all book'
• New charges filed against 'Aunt Becky' in college admissions scandal
• Lazy horse plays dead every time people try to ride him
• Purdue U. refuses to bow to crazy faculty who want to ban Chick-fil-A
• Trans activist loses court case against salon that wouldn't 'wax her balls'
• The book Phil was talking about: Operation Gladio

Daily Show Prep - Monday October 21, 2019

• Get ready for the premiere of Phil Valentine's 'The Haunted Cabin'—Tuesday 8pm CT
• Pelosi releases impeachment 'fact sheet'
• Trump moving forward with DNA testing illegals
• Anticipations builds for DOJ FISA report
• Lawmakers blast Apple CEO over Hong Kong app removal
• AOC pressed on support for BernMe
• Julian Castro running on fumes
• Rand Paul confronted by crazed, Trump-deranged woman
• Jury rules against father who wants to keep his 7-year-old son from becoming a girl
• Photo shows naked congresswoman brushing hair of female campaign worker
• Judge denies Assange's bid to delay extradition to U.S.
• CNN analyst apologies for covering Hillary e-mail story
• Mitt Romney has secret Twitter account
• Bag explodes while being loaded on a plane in Chicago
• Update: Dutch man who locked kids in cellar for 9 years was a Moonie

Daily Show Prep - Friday October 18, 2019

• 38 people cited for violations in Hillary e-mail probe
• Turkey warns U.S. it has 120 hours to get Kurds out of safe zone
• Hillary suggests the Russians are grooming Tulsi Gabbard for third-party run
• Tulsi fires back
• Clinton spokesman doubles down
• Just in case you're toying with supporting Gabbard, she's no moderate
• Diplomat says he voiced concerns about Hunter Biden in 2015
• Trump campaign to sue CNN over bias
• Second illegal tied to gruesome sanctuary city murder
• Illegal alien in country for 20 years sentenced for 10,000 child porn images
• Tom Steyer, campaigned on getting money out of politics, spent $47 million in 84 days
• James O'Keefe teases 'very serious' allegations against a CNN exec coming next week
• Kellogg's comes out with GBLT cereal
• UK Chick-fil-A closing after backlash from GBLT people
• Flashback: It's 'big league,' not 'bigly'
• FL woman gets 20 years after giving birth to 11-year-old's baby
• 85-year-old woman's house hit by 2 cars in past 5 months
• Guest: Wayne Allyn Root raises money to build the wall

Daily Show Prep - Thursday October 17, 2019

• Trump blows everybody's mind with Syrian ceasefire
• Romney doubles down on the wrong side of history
• Rand Paul blocks Senate vote on House's condemnation over Syria
• New media go nuts over Mulvaney's obvious comments about Ukraine
• Schiff says Mulvaney's comments have made things 'much, much worse'
• Children's play teaches school children that illegals are just like legals
• Elijah Cummings is dead
• Andrew Yang: You should get a check in the mail from Big Tech for your data use
• Angry Londoners drag climate activist from roof of train
• Black high school security guard fired for telling student not to call him a 'ni**er'

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday October 16, 2019

• Trump says Kurds are no angels
• Rand Paul slams Lindsey Graham
• House votes overwhelmingly to condemn Trump's withdrawal from Syria
• Trump smacks down ABC News reporter over fake video
• LWM go nuts over Trump's frank letter to Erdogan
• Dem debate ratings tank
• AOC to endorse BernMe
• Biden to Trump: Release your tax returns or shut up about my son
• Hunter Biden will face off in court against 28-year-old baby mama
• U.S. to require Chinese officials to report contacts
• GM, UAW come to agreement
• A$AP Rocky thinks he's a sex addict
• Tarzan actor's wife stabbed to death
• Mother who paid to cheat on son's ACT gets 3 weeks in jail
• French hotelier says his family are rightful heirs to British throne

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday October 15, 2019

• LeBron caves to the commies
• Questioned commish over failure to punish Rockets owner for China tweet
• Hong Kong protesters burn his jersey
• Pelosi says there will not be a vote on impeachment
• Giuliani won't comply with congressional subpoena
• Watch Hunter Biden interview, admits he wouldn't be on board were he not a Biden
• Sen. Graham may call Hunter Biden to testify
• Dems debate in Ohio—(yawn)
• Former NASA scientist says they found life on Mars...in the '70s
• Another flash mob in Philly
• People go nuts over Gov. Cuomo quoting NY Times and n-word
• Dead man pranks funeral-goers by screaming from coffin
• Deputies ask man to quit calling about his stolen pot
• Dutch family found in cellar waiting for end times

Daily Show Prep - Monday October 14, 2019

• Schiff is hiding details on impeachment because it's weak
• Hunter Biden resigns from Chinese investment firm after Trump attacks
• Trump hits Turkey with sanctions over Kurdish strikes
• Kurds may be releasing ISIS prisoners to lure U.S. back in to Syria
• Rand Paul: Congress doesn't know who to declare war on in Syria
• ABC News apologizes after trying to pass off KY gun range footage as Kurd-Turk battle
• Trump had nothing to do with parody video showing him shooting opponents
• DC joins 100 cities in changing Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day
• Columbus statue defaced in Providence
• Another in San Fran
• The accomplishments of Christopher Columbus
• Only 19 percent believe BernMe is healthy enough to be president
• Undercover video shows CNN's obsession with Trump
• CNN's Zucker says it's time to stop being friendly with Sen. Graham
• Zuckerberg defends meetings with conservative politicians
• Target raised wages, but cut hours
• Metro bill would help save historic structures
• Chelsea Clinton emphatically states man with beard and penis can identify as woman
• Doctors say 'detoxing' is bovine scatology
• Air Canada to stop announcing 'ladies and gentleman' in nod to gender fluidity
• Another person is arrested for 'finger gun'
• Scientists trying to design 'ethical' sex robots that have to consent first
• Serial stowaway remains in jail

Daily Show Prep - Friday October 11, 2019

• Trump announces substantial deal with China
• Leftist animals riot, spit and throw urine on Trump supporters
• Turkey bombs U.S. Special Forces by mistake
• EU ambassador defies State Dept., will testify before Congress
• Former Obama-appointed ambassador acts stunned that Trump wanted to replace her
• Sec. Pompeo scolds NBA over timid response to China
• Shepherd Smith leaving Fox News
• Just as Uncle Phil predicted, McAleenan out at DHS
• Another homeless attack
• Beto wants to bankrupt churches that don't believe in gay marriage
• Barr criticizes GBLT curricula that don't allow opting out for religious reasons
• Fredo misspeaks, identifies as female then apologizes to GBLT community
• Students burn professor's book after she tells them to consider their white privilege
• Terminally ill scientist to become first cyborg
• Greta snubbed on Nobel Peace Prize
• Michigan State bans 'racially, culturally, or ethnically based' costumes for Halloween
• Stalker used reflections in pop star's eyes to figure out where she lived

Daily Show Prep - Thursday October 10, 2019

• Trump advisor claims China handed him intelligence on Hunter Biden
• Text of 'whistleblower' complaint sensationalizes Trump/Zelensky phone call
• 'Whistleblower' worked with Biden
• Two men with links to Giuliani, Ukraine arrested on campaign charges
• Trump slams Fox News
• Turkey shelled prison holding ISIS fighters
• CNN reporter shut down for asking NBA players about China
• ESPN uses Chinese propaganda map in graphic
• Ca. power company cuts power to prevent wildfires
• Vatican considers 'ecological sins'
• Open borders idiots go nuts over ICE visiting Nashville elementary school
• Dirt people target Charmin toilet paper
• AK supreme court hears youth climate change lawsuit
• Extinction Rebellion idiot glues himself to top of airliner
• Meanwhile, historic blizzard on the way for country's midsection
• Snow record in Pacific Northwest
• Oxfam: Workers who supply food to Whole Foods work in 'oppressive' conditions
• Farrow book accuses NBC execs of covering up for Weinstein, Lauer
• Liz Warren's 'Pow Wow Chow' cookbook featured ripped-off recipes she passed off as from her own family
• News station apologizes after 'racially insensitive' headline after Braves loss to Cardinals
• Americans panic thinking they have anxiety disorder
• Man jailed for squirting neighbor in face with urine-filled squirt gun

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday October 9, 2019

• DIA worker arrested for leaking classified info to journalists
• Journalists IDd, two reporters from NBC
• Biden calls for investigation into his political opponent
• Ukraine opened probe into Hunter Biden months before Trump's phone call
• White House vows to halt impeachment probe cooperation
• Barr's probe into origins of bogus Trump/Russia collusion story broadens
• TN man says he was conned by Anvil Joe's brother
• Trump dares Hillary to jump in
• Turkey launches operation into Syria
• SCOTUS struggles with GBLT cases
• Nashville woman attacked by two different homeless women within hours
• Drudge Report turns on Trump
• WI to officially recognize 'Indigenous Peoples Day' instead of Columbus Day
• Planned Parenthood announces $45 million campaign to defeat Trump
• Former NBC producer accuses Matt Lauer of rape
• Jersey women charged with cheating at church bingo
• Cattle in OR mysteriously mutilated, drained of blood
• Australian Psychological Society says children should be able to have sex change without parents' permission
• FL man accused of enticing alligator to bite him, pouring beer in its mouth
• Canadian politician says black people love Trudeau because he always wanted a black face
• Guest: Eddie Scarry says Republicans should leak ID of whistleblower

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday October 8, 2019

• Whistleblower has ties to 2020 Dem candidate
• Trump bars envoy's testimony
• State Dept. is reviewing Sondland's text messages before they comply
• Dems subpoena Sondland
• Giuliani says he won't testify before House committee until they get rid of Schiff
• China punishes NBA over Rockets tweet supporting Hong Kong protestors
• Will LeBron speak out for Hong Kong protestors?
• Pompeo announces ban on Chinese officials for persecuting Uighur Muslims
• Apple removes Taiwan flag emoji in China
• Trump promised to eliminate deficits, up 68 percent instead
• ICE arrests deported Mexican who threatened to shoot ICE officers
• Surprise! Young Americans more likely to resent rich
• Concerns about Julian Assange's health mount
• Ellen DeGeneres claps back at critics over her sitting with W at game
• Quarter of Americans have never eaten veggies
• Parents sue maker of 'Fortnite' saying it's as addictive as cocaine

Daily Show Prep - Monday October 7, 2019

• Trump allies respond to second whistleblower
• Flashback: Lawyer for whistleblowers, Mark Zaid, was also lawyer for wine bar that sued Trump and lost
• Giuliani to sue Schiff
• Rick Perry, contrary to reports, has no plans to resign
• Trump to pull remaining troops out of Syria
• Threatens to 'obliterate' Turkey's economy if they misbehave
• Flashback: The major pull-out of Syria began nearly a year ago
• Even still, Turkey launches airstrike against Kurds
• 'The Atlantic' backs the communist PKK over our NATO ally
• Harvard professor takes Trump's 'unmatched wisdom' tweet seriously, 'truly alarmed'
• Trump loses NY court fight to keep tax returns secret
• 'Never Trumpers' change their minds
• Warren overtakes Biden in yet another poll
• Liz Warren has been lying about being fired when she was pregnant
• Kamala proposes 6-month government-paid family leave
• China engaging in ethnic cleansing
• NBA scrambles after Rockets' 'regrettable' pro-freedom tweet
• 'South Park' banned in China after show mocked Hollywood for kowtowing to communists
• 'South Park' offers China a South Park-style 'apology'
• Another solar boondoggle goes under
• Dick's Sporting Goods CEO says they destroyed $5 million in guns
• Ilhan Omar files for divorce
• Homeless man beats four other homeless people to death
• 2 men arrested at 'Joker' screening
• SNL Town Hall skit Phil was talking about

Daily Show Prep - Friday October 4, 2019

• Former U.S. Ukrainian envoy's testimony in direct contradiction of Dem narrative
• There was no quid pro quo
• Trump declares 'case closed' after e-mails show no quid pro quo, no pressure
• Romney attacks Trump...again
• 'Whistleblower' never disclosed contact with Schiff's team to IG
• Sen. Graham pushes Dems to hold vote on impeachment
• CNN's Van Jones says Dems in 'lose-lose' on impeachment
• Ukraine reviewing several cases related to owner of Burisma
• Pelosi's son also member of energy company board that did business in Ukraine
• Flashback: Obama waged war on 'whistleblowers,' prosecuted them as spies
• Microsoft says Iranian-linked hackers tried to compromise Trump campaign
• Unemployment rate hits 50-year low
• UT releases star player who said, 'Where I'm from, we shoot at cops'
• SCOTUS agrees to take up La. abortion case
• Update: Va. officer suspended for turning over criminal to ICE restored
• Detroit-area man charged with defacing ICE building
• Paris knife attack investigated as possible terrorism
• Unsupervised accused priests teach, counsel children
• Serial killer confesses to murdering 93 women
• Illegal convicted of fatal DUI indicted for illegal re-entry
• 'Deconstructing Whiteness class at Berkeley examines why America 'normalizes white identity'
• Man runs over ex-wife then hacks her to death in broad daylight
• Royal tortoise of Nigeria has died at the age of 344. Yeah, 344!
• Sleepy man busted for calling 911 to complain about Amber Alert

Daily Show Prep - Thursday October 3, 2019

• News media go nuts as Trump doubles down on Ukraine investigating Biden, and adds China
• Whistleblower is registered Democrat
• Biden says 'I'm not going anywhere'
• GOP Congressmen coming from Volker hearing say testimony does not support Dem's accusations 
• 45 Republican join movement to condemn Adam Schiff
• Andrew McCarthy: Ignore the hype—this is not an impeachment inquiry
• Trump's approval rises with impeachment talk
• Mainstream media just realized that Trump had Ukrainian ambassador recalled even though it was in the phone transcript
• Max Maxine claims Trump is 'setting some of us up to be killed'
• Illegal ICE tried to arrest in Hermitage but were blocked by human chain has criminal record
• Paris knife attacker who killed 4 had converted to Islam
• Dem congresswoman screams 'the NRA has got to go' at town hall meeting...at gun range
• Acting DHS secretary says 'illegal alien' has 'racial overtones'
• De Niro sued by former assistant for harassment
• AOC says no one should be allowed to have a billion dollars
• Doctor who prescribed 500,000 opioid pills sentenced to 40 years
• Teacher says he was fired for not using male pronouns for transgender student
• Climate activists lose control of hose spraying fake blood
• Faces pierced with badminton racquets at vegetarian festival
• Man sues Apple claiming iPhone turned him gay
• Fireballs that crashed to Earth were not meteorites
• Homeless singer gets record deal after viral video
• National Review reviews 'Joker'

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday October 2, 2019

• CNN seriously spins meeting between State Dept. IG and congressional staffers
• Ukraine found out aid was delayed weeks after phone call with Trump
• Whistleblower claimed to have first-hand evidence when he didn't
• Schiff got early account of whistleblower's accusations
• Rosie deletes her online poll showing 58 percent against impeachment
• BernMe cancels events over heart condition
• Warren passes Biden in another national poll
• Americans spend more on taxes than food, clothing, health care combined
• UT football player arrested: 'Where I'm from, we shoot at cops'
• Trump administration to begin DNA testing of illegals to stop child trafficking
• Illegal deported 7 times captured in Madison, TN
• Va. officer suspended for detaining illegal wanted by ICE
• Todd Starnes out at Fox News
• Hillary still blaming the Russians
• #MeToo hits...Gandhi?
• Antifa harasser ID'd as Syrian migrant
• NASA knows 'climate change' is caused by natural causes but sits on the data
• Putin dismisses Greta Thunberg as 'poorly informed teenager'
• Teens charged with manslaughter for sucker-punching, killing fellow student
• Instagram to roll out it's anti-bullying tool
• FL man arrested for cutting brake lines of e-scooters
• More frightening videos surface of Tesla's 'smart summon' feature
• Robot can make 300 pizzas an hour
• NYPD officers to go undercover at Joker screenings

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday October 1, 2019

• Pompeo refuses Dem subpoena
• State Dept. IG requests urgent meeting with congressional leaders
• Hillary questions Trump's decision to use secure server to store calls
• Letter from Australian official refutes NY Times' latest 'Trump scoop'
• Kamala wants Twitter to suspend Trump's account
• GOP senators press DOJ to probe Hillary and Ukraine
• Photo shows Anvil Joe with Hunter and his gas company business partner
• Networks devote 7 hours to Trump/Ukraine, only 46 minutes to Hunter Biden
• Uncle Phil connects the dots on Ukraine
• Schiff once welcomed dirt on Trump from Ukrainians in prank phone call
• Trump congratulates China on its 70th anniversary
• Iran sentences spy to death
• Zuckerberg blasts Liz Warren in leaked audio
• Warren fights back
• 'Joker' director blasts 'woke' culture for destroying comedies, and libs ain't happy
• 500 scientists to UN: There is no climate crisis
• Swedish church once declared Greta Thunberg 'successor' to Jesus Christ
• Before you freak out, here are the record highs by state
• NYC bans the term 'illegal alien'
• Judge rules Harvard can discriminate against Asians
• Research shows red meat poses no health risk, vegans go nuts
• FBI 2018 stats: Over 5 times more killed by knives than rifles
• Mayor of Chicago will wipe out overdue library fees to fight 'generational poverty'
• 15-year-old boy dies protecting 5-year-old sister during home invasion
• Man pulls gun on another driver for honking at him
• Man rides scooter in Nashville with toddler on hip
• Super model confronts runway crasher
• Chinese fugitive captured after 17 years living in a cave