Daily Show Prep - Friday December 23, 2016

• Phil & Johnny B dancin' in da boof
• Berlin truck terrorist shot dead
• ISIS sympathizer in Phoenix was plotting a lone wolf attack
• Rogue Rockette goes on Instagram rant about having to perform at Trump inauguration
• Some states' driver's licenses will be no good for TSA in 2018
• Only one former president has RSVP'd to Trump inauguration
• Trump's NY campaign chairman says he hopes Obama gets mad cow disease and dies
• Carrie Fisher suffers heart attack on plane
• Family tries to get daughter on boys' basketball team
• Snowflake alert! Congressman Steve Cohen hopes Mother Earth can survive the next 4 years
• Pa. man goes to the store, ends up in Alabama
• Woman reveals she's fallen in love with a robot
• Mom arrested for beating sons for opening Christmas gifts early
• 'My fellow liberals, I'm tired of you'
• Wall of icy fog envelopes Lake Superior
• Cops called to break up a fight at Denny's over an egg
• Man who rammed his car into airport terminal says he did it for love

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 22, 2016

• ISIS lists U.S. churches to attack during holidays
• Obama to end terror-related registry before he leaves office
• Blunders left Berlin truck terrorist free to kill
• Police in Australia say they foiled Christmas Day terror plot
• Trump denies Newt's claim that he's dropping 'drain the swamp'
• Citing high taxes at home, Chinese tycoon moves jobs to U.S.
• Crazed Hillary supporter screams at Ivanka on JetBlue flight
• Obama says he can't pursue reparations because it's not feasible
• Putin declares his military strongest on earth
• Trump picks Sean Spicer for press secretary
• Kellyanne Conway is counselor to the president
• U. of Md. Muslim students demand prayer rooms in every major building
• World's oldest gorilla turns 60
• Man kills step-mom after she gloats about Cowboys win
• Expert of the Day: Katie Yoder from Media Research Center on Lena Dunham's comment that she never had an abortion but wishes she had

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 21, 2016

• German truck terrorist was jailed in Italy for burning down a school, allowed to enter Germany
• Protests erupt outside Merkel's office
• Refugee resettlement accelerates in Obama's final days
• Trump says attacks prove him right
• Petty: DC Metro won't put Trump's face on Inauguration Day card
• Unbelievable! Mom sends her two daughters, ages 7 and 9, on suicide mission
• Obama bans offshore drilling
• Hands out $2 billion loan for another green project
• How Obama tries to Trump-proof his legacy
• NY Times wants to end the Electoral College
• Trump picks China hawk for trade post
• Walmart pulls Black Lives Matter items after police object
• Illinois loses more residents in 2016 than any other state
• The fastest shrinking states
• Repeal of NC bathroom bill hits a roadblock
• They thought it was a white Trump guy scrawling 'KKK' on wall, turns out he's not white
• Harry Reid said he 'did what was necessary' in lying about Mitt Romney not paying taxes
• Calexit organizers claim to have opened an embassy in Moscow
• Five adults arrested for assaulting police at Chuck E. Cheese
• Man dresses as Chewbacca and robs kiosks
• Why butter is actually good for you
• NFL security guard plays pocket pool at halftime
• Woman says she can't leave her house because she's allergic to WiFi
• Update: Cops ID the guy who stole the bucket of gold flakes from the armored truck
• Expert of the Day: Tim Schmidt, president of U.S. Concealed Carry Association, on John Kasich signing a bill to allow concealed firearms on college campuses

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 20, 2016

• ISIS claims responsibility for German truck attack
• German police raid refugee camp looking for truck terrorist
• Terror expert: 'Merkel has been importing jihadists in massive numbers'
• Facebook, Twitter, Google sued by Orlando night club victims' families
• Gov. Scott Walker asks Trump to allow drug-testing for food stamp recipients
• China returns underwater drone
• World's hottest desert sees snow for first time in 40 years
• NatGeo tries to normalize 9-year-old boy who they call a girl
• Tom Arnold claims to have tape of Trump's racist rant
• Gov. Kasich signs bill allowing conceal carry on college campuses
• NC GOP attempt to limit power of incoming guv is payback
• Singer Richard Marx subdues deranged passenger on flight
• Colorado mom goes off drinking, leaves two-year-old in subzero car overnight
• A billionaire's plan to house homeless in shipping containers
• EPA settles with VW for $225 million over diesel cheating scandal
• They call it MormonWikileaks, website exposes inner workings of church
• MTV's '2017 Resolutions for White Guys'
• Ami Horowitz video on black people and voter ID
• 7 awkward minutes with Jerry Lewis
• Top 5 Google searches of 2016
• Pagan priest wins right to wear goat horns in his driver's license picture
• Expert of the Day: Phil Kerpen from American Commitment on New York's scheme to get 50% of their power from green sources

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 19, 2016

• Electoral college makes Trump victory official
• Anti-Trumpers mount last-ditch effort to change the election
• A crazy-looking Bill Clinton blames the FBI and the Russians for Hillary's loss
• 'Faithless electors' are voting against Hillary
• Three Dems in Washington State vote for Colin Powell, another votes for Faith Spotted Eagle
• Results of the Electoral College
• Electoral College votes today. Then what?
• Rahm's brother refuses to rat on Trump
• Russian ambassador to Turkey shot dead as revenge for Aleppo
• At least 9 dead in Berlin truck attack
• Obama commutes 153 sentences, pardons 78
• China holds first underwater drone symposium
• Public colleges offer classes on 'The Problem of Whiteness'
• Principal nixes 'white' chant
• UVA students sign petition to ban Christmas
• Teens beat man after he refuses offer to shovel his driveway
• Expert of the Day: Michelle Malkin on her new show on CRTV

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 16, 2016

• Chinese warship steals American underwater drone
• Yet another reporter faints at Obama press conference
• Flashback: People faint all the time at Obama's speeches
• Russia tells Obama to put up or shut up on hacking
• Hillary says Putin has a 'personal beef' against her
• Jill Stein spent almost a million of the money raised for recount on 'administrative expenses'
• 'Faithless Elector' from Texas appears to be a psychopath
• Michelle O says Americans have no hope under Trump
• Cornell student claims she was attacked for being a Republican
• Scott Baio claims assault by Chili Peppers' drummer's wife
• TV networks shifting program strategies in age of Trump
• Irrelevant O'Malley calls Trump a fascist
• Obama raising war chest to fight Trump after January
• WashPo editorial: Celebrating Christmas is hurtful to rape victims
• Four richest counties are suburbs of D.C.
• OK running back decks woman
• First law enforcement officer facing federal terrorism charges is indicted
• Syracuse shatters 99-year-old cold record
• Could be coldest Bears game ever in Chicago
• Montana sees record-breaking snowfall
• Sister of hijab hoaxer blames media, police
• NY Times vacating 8 floors of its New York offices
• NC GOP limits incoming Dem guv's power
• 'Swinging general' demoted to Lt. Col. after 11-year affair
• Middle school coach reprimanded for kneeling in prayer with students
• Judge orders school to restore Charlie Brown Christmas decorations
• E-cig sparks fire on flight
• KFC launches finger condoms
• Professor now says 'holiday party' is offensive
• Expert of the Day: Philip Klein of the Washington Examiner on how the Republicans will dismantle Obamacare

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 15, 2016

• Facebook to start labeling 'fake news'
• More electors threatened if they vote for Trump
• Now celebrities are groveling to Republican electors
• Lindsey Grahamnesty has litmus test for T. Rex Tillerson
• FBI field office told to continue Clinton Foundation probe
• Dollar climbs to strongest since 2003
• Fed rate hike will boost cost for variable-rate student loans
• 1,000 Muslims shut down London, demand caliphate
• What happened to global warming? America freezes
• Self-driving Uber caught running red light
• Automated restaurant opens in NYC
• Dem FCC chairman to resign
• Court says mentally incompetent man can't file for divorce
• Real life Russian 'Hunger Games'
• 75-year Harvard study unlocks the key to success
• Posh cheese festival descends into chaos as vegans attack
• CBS to reboot 'Honeymooners'
• Expert of the Day: Ted Harvey from The Committee to Defend the President on the effort to hijack the Electoral College

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 14, 2016

• Fed raises rate
• Trump meets with tech execs
• Google racing to hire more conservatives
• China arms artificial islands in South China Sea
• Trump vows big changes for trade with China
• Hillary elector push for Russia briefing pushed by Podesta
• FBI warned the DNC of hacks, they ignored them
• Harvard professor claims 20 GOP electors so far may be defecting
• Georgia continues to push for investigation of DHS over hacks
• Yahoo says hackers stole info from over 1 billion accounts
• Update: Professor who called Trump's election 'act of terrorism' now in hiding
• Hillary staffers rip Huma
• San Fran Nan doesn't think Obamacare repeal will happen
• Army recruiter admits funneling guns to drug cartel
• Town's entire police department resigns
• Pain relievers tied to hearing loss
• Expert of the Day: Kyle Drennen from Newsbusters on the media and Trump's picks

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 13, 2016

• Phil Valentine's Virtual Book Signing going on today!
• It's Official: Trump picks T. Rex for SecState
• Kanye meets with Trump
• Student arrested for bringing weapons, fireworks into Trump Tower
• British man jailed in Trump death plot
• Bill Gates says Trump has opportunity to be like JFK
• Small business owners' optimism skyrockets after Trump victory
• McConnel, Ryan side with CIA against Trump in hacking probe
• George Stephanopoulos' wife talks about how scared her daughter is after the election
• Obama still blaming slavery
• Scientists want to give atmosphere an antacid to relieve climate change
• Oxford U. students told to use 'ze' instead of 'he' or 'she'
• Expert of the Day: Michael Reagan on how the Democrats secretly worked with the Soviets to oppose his dad

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 12, 2016

• Sources say Trump picks ExxonMobil CEO for SecState
• Insider: Trump has narrowed Energy Secretary to three men
• Trump has officially picked Gen. Kelly to head DHS
• Slate columnist says Trump's Thank-you Tour is 'menacing and threatening' to non-Trump voters
• John Bolton: It's not clear the Russians were behind the Hillary hacks
• McCain: No evidence Russians were trying to help Trump
• Harry Reid says FBI 'singlehandedly' gave election to Trump
• DHS says Georgia hack may have been rogue employee
• Trump continues to ruffle China's feathers
• GotNews says TX anti-Trump elector was Ashley Madison client
• Judge rejects Green Party's PA recount case
• Trump says Amazon has 'a huge antitrust problem'
• Lockheed Martin's stock dives after Trump's tweet about their F-35
• Melania appears in court in defamation lawsuit
• Surprise: College professor humiliates Trump supporters in front of class
• Russia Today: FBI sent planeload of agents to Iceland to frame Assange
• Twitter alternative Gab attracts white supremacists
• Students rip down Shakespeare portrait at UPenn
• Al Gore's sequel to 'An Inconvenient Truth' to debut at Sundance
• Antarctic explorer suffers 'polar penis'
• 'Cindy Brady' gets fired from radio gig over spat with gay guest
• Pastor heckles Santa at mall

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 9, 2016

• ExxonMobil chief could be next SecState
• Rudy removes himself from consideration
• Economic optimism surges under Trump
• Big Bidness warns Trump against mass deportations
• Illegal accused of killing 2 in hit-and-run had been deported 8 times
• Rogue GOP elector says others will join him in voting against Trump
• Obama orders intelligence review of election hacking
• Ohio State activists say terrorist was wrongly killed
• Blaze reporter takes shots at ISIS in Iraq
• Sears is circling the drain
• Geert Wilders found guilty of hate speech in the Netherlands
• Global warming protestors met with bitter cold, snow
• Uber bans flirting in cars
• 'Fat-shaming' Santa hospitalized after comments went viral
• Expert of the Day: Susan Crabtree on the Democrat threat to shut down the government

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 8, 2016

• Trump picks an anti-dirt people EPA head
• And the left goes nuts
• Trump's Labor Secretary pick is fast food exec opposed to raising minimum wage
• And the left goes nuts
• Obama had three generals on his team and nobody compained
• CBO: Repealing Obamacare would save $1.2 trillion
• DiCaprio meets secretly with Trump
• Study: Solar panels actually contribute to global warming
• Judge stops Michigan recount
• Hillary gains 61 votes so far in Wisconsin recount
• US Steel wants to bring back jobs
• John Glenn dies at 95
• WashPo finally admits news story on fake news might be fake
• Biblical storm cloud blocks ISIS from Israel
• Trump to remain EP on 'Apprentice'
• Iranian theme park teaches kids to hate America
• U. of Illinois student senate chastises campus police for tracking down stolen phone
• U.S. life expectancy declines for first time in decades
• Literary classics returned to schools after idiot liberals got them banned
• Horse bonds with seeing eye camel
• Mick Jagger a daddy again at 73
• Hackers turn McDonald's drive-thru into porno
• Charges possible over racist video of black kid eating chicken
• Expert of the Day: Steve Moore, financial advisor to Trump, on the Blue Street Blues

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday December 7, 2016

• Trump is Time's Person of the Year
• Hollywood PR firm cancels holiday party because of Trump
• Fewer than 200 survivors of Pearl Harbor are still alive
• Two juveniles charged in the Gatlinburg fires
• Dow hits new high
• New rules for gold investing may open market up to Muslims
• Chicago Mayor Rahm Enanuel meets with Trump
• Meanwhile: Chicago breaks 1940 snow record
• Another down year for tornadoes and hurricanes
• US planes to be made in India
• Congressman Conyers says the Electoral College is 'rooted in slavery'
• Earth's days are getting longer
• United Airlines to start charging passengers for overhead storage
• Woman tries to run over her ex as he put up Christmas lights
• Thieves pose as mannequins, rob store after it closes
• Alex Jones wonders if Glenn Beck is gay
• Kid Rock now selling his 'Dumbf--kistan' t-shirts online
• The Safety Pin Box website Phil was talking about
• Expert of the Day: Doug Sacthleben, communications director at Club for Growth, on Trump's tariffs

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday December 6, 2016

• Song: It's The Most Wonderful Time in Eight Years
• China state media call Trump 'diplomatic rookie' who must learn not to cross them
• Bob Dole arranged Trump's Taiwan call
• House Republicans say Trump's tariffs ain't gonna happen
• Republicans get set to reduce federal workforce
• Trump targets Boeing for 'out of control' AF1 costs
• Trump announces deal with Softbank to create 50,000 jobs in U.S.
• Nancy Pelosi slams Ben Carson as HUD secretary
• Trump could do away with $1.7 billion in Dodd-Frank regs in 2017
• House to make motion to impeach IRS head Koskinen
• Trumps add to his lead in Wisconsin recount
• LeBron won't stay at Trump hotel with team in NYC
• Merkel calls for German burka ban
• Realtor uses Secret Service at Trump Tower as selling point
• NY Times digital subscriptions surge in wake of Trump election
• Site listed by WashPo as 'fake news' threatens lawsuit
• Liberal elitist rips Gatlinburg fire victims and loses his job
• BSNBC apologies for no trigger warning for sheriff's language
• Frustrated man cuts off winky after wife won't have sex for a decade
• Church of Latter Day Harambe gets tax-exempt status from IRS
• Expert of the Day: Gabby Morrongiello from the Washington Examiner on Trump's popularity surge

Daily Show Prep - Monday December 5, 2016

• Trump's call with Taiwan's leader has MSM freaking out
• Michael Rubin: Trump is right on Taiwan
• Former ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, agrees
• Huntsman now on list of SecState prospects
• ISIS plots 'Bloody Friday' for Trump inauguration
• Snowden: Petraeus shared data 'far more highly classified than I ever did'
• What's up between Ivanka and Al Gore?
• Trump victory already having an impact on your 401(k)
• After 4 days of recount in Wisconsin nothing has changed
• Gov. McCrory in NC concedes to Cooper
• Madonna's Billboard meltdown over Trump victory
• Pelosi still doesn't get it: 'I don't think people want a new direction'
• Karma: Kaepernick bombs in Chicago, gets pulled from the game
• More Karma: Jeep carrying Castro's ashes breaks down
• Artists worry about crackdown on warehouses in Oakland after deadly fire
• University's 'Whiteness Forum' takes 'critical look at whiteness'
• Sanctuary campus students want sanctuary from exams
• Man kills wife after taunts to kill himself
• Half of parents no problem with their boys playing with Easy-Bake Oven
• Snowflake chick who demands the 'Muh-crib' from the city council
• Guest: Iron Will movie
• Guest: Terry Strada, chairman of the 9/11 Families and Survivors United for Justice Against Terrorism on Sens. McCan and Graham trying to gut the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act
• Expert of the Day: Bill Gertz on Trump's Taiwan tweets and what our China policy really is

Daily Show Prep - Friday December 2, 2016

• First day of Wisconsin recount nets Hillary one vote
• Everything you need to know about the recount
• Huge Nevada voter fraud uncovered
• Dems might be able to block Mad Dog's nomination
• CNN crew jokes about Trump's plane crashing
• More sore Hillary losers at Harvard forum
• WashPo falls for story accusing Drudge and others of being Russian propaganda
• New border crisis: Pakistani illegals up 935%
• Poll: 4 in 10 Muslim Brits want sharia law
• Tucker Carlson big hit at Fox
• #DumpKelloggs protestor blows up his Pop-Tarts
• Schools provide puppies to ease exam stress
• Flag flies once again at Hampshire College
• Expert of the Day: David Barnes from Generation Opportunity on Obamacare enrollment falling

Daily Show Prep - Thursday December 1, 2016

• Politico: GOP plans to phase out Obamacare over 3 years
• More death threats for Electoral College electors
• Report: Trump has chosen Mad Dog as DefSec, Trump camp denies
• 8 things you need to know about Gen. Petraeus
• 2/3 of illegal 'minors' admitted by Obama are adults
• Sources say Romney will not get State job
• Anderson Cooper defends Steve Bannon against white supremacist accusations
• Kellogg's dumps Breitbart ads
• Hillary seeks recount volunteers
• State Dept. releases 1,000 more deleted Hillary e-mails
• Record cold coming to U.S.
• Jailed Charlotte protestors beg for bail money
• Calexit possible but remote
• More trouble for Anthony Weiner
• Keith Ellison's imam disses homosexuality
• Megyn Kelly could be heading to CNN
• Newsweek editor admits they didn't read 'Madame President' issue before it was released
• College says if you shame someone into having sex it's rape
• Expert of the Day: Bob Moffit from the Heritage Foundation on why Trump's pick for Secretary of Health and Human Services is a good one