Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 31, 2020

• Social distancing slowing spread of coronavirus
• Lancet study shows death rate not nearly as bad as first thought
• Sen. Rick Scott calls for investigation WHO'S role in helping ChiComs cover up pandemic
• CNN's Chris Cuomo has the virus
• 95-year-old beat the virus: 'I survived the foxholes of Guam, I can get through this bulls**t'
• Williamson Medical Center furloughs workers
• NV guv backtracks on malaria drug ban
• Wow! Gore says now's not the time to take unnecessary political potshots at Trump
• Sen. Blackburn rips Pelosi
• Dow down over 400 points
• Trump wants a WPA-style infrastructure bill to jump-start the economy
• My Pillow guy shrugs off media attacks: 'I pray for all of those outlets'
• Two college students spend spring break building a website to find grocery items
• U.S. debt could exceed U.S. economy within two years
• Nashville to raise property tax
• Alec Baldwin says Trump is the virus
• Cher says Trump lied about New Yorkers stealing medical equipment, even though he got the story from Cuomo
• Some AZ border town residents worry wall builders will expose them to virus
• Trump relaxes fuel efficiency standards
• FBI problems with FISA warrants extends beyond Russia, IG says

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 30, 2020

• Wuhan residents dismiss official ChiCom death toll
• 21 million phone subscribers vanish
• FDA approves emergency use of malaria drug
• Gov. Lee announces closure of all non-essential businesses
• Stock markets up again
• NJ reopens gun stores after DHS calls them essential
• Just after getting $25 mil from government, Kennedy Center cuts off paychecks
• CBS caught using footage from Italian hospital to describe conditions in NYC
• No lock-down in Sweden
• Seattle sees slowdown in cases
• Sen. Burr agrees to participate in stock sale inquiry
• Singer John Prine in stable condition
• Tampa Bay pastor arrested for holding church service
• NY congresswoman tests positive
• KY guv signs order keeping residents from leaving the state
• Dr. Elvis steals the night at iHeart at-home concert
• Michigan governor's aide spreads false rumor about rationing ventilators
• Macy's furloughs majority of employees
• Whole Foods employees to strike over pay
• 20 coronavirus quotes showing how political correctness and open borders came before health
• 15 percent of BernMe voters would choose Trump over Biden
• Economists predict end of Euro because of coronavirus
• Dad locks son out of house after spring break trip

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 27, 2020

• Coronavirus package clears House
• Massie: I came to make sure our country didn't die in an empty chamber
• Six awful Dem ideas the Senate Republicans blocked
• Trump invokes Defense Production Act on GM
• Timeline and list of government responses to coronavirus
• WHO backs easing lockdowns
• Italy logs highest death toll of any country in a single day
• Sixth person dies in TN
• Singer Joe Diffie has it
• British PM tests positive
• Virus survives on surgical masks up to 7 days
• How coronavirus compares to the flu
• Trump demands automakers open up closed plants and start making more ventilators
• Average gas price dips below $2 per gallon
• Racist Mexicans don't want Americans coming across the border
• Lockdown continues to improve air quality
• And now there's a condom shortage coming
• Phishing scams spike as more people work from home
• Biden's accuser says 'he penetrated me with his fingers'
• Rockers Todd Rundgren, Daryl Hall, Joe Walsh team to get 'maniac' Trump out of office

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 26, 2020

• Trump: Feds are new guidelines to ease social distancing
• U.S. overtakes China with most confirmed virus cases in the world
• Stock market up 1,300 points
• House to vote Friday on coronavirus bill
• Pelosi says $2 trillion stimulus isn't the end
• Unemployment claims largest ever
• Stanford doctors: Coronavirus death toll may be far lower than models predict
• Stanford scientist urges random testing to get real view of how many people have it
• 12 medical experts question the coronavirus freakout
• LA businesses face charges if they stay open
• TN cases top 1,000, deaths remain steady and low
• NY death toll jumps by 100 in one day
• Cuomo blasts stimulus bill for not giving enough to his state
• Dr. Fauci says Italy harder hit because of Chinese tourists
• National Cathedral finds 5,000 masks forgotten in a crypt
• Ca. union finds 39 million masks
• PA grocery store has to throw out $35,000 worth of food after someone intentionally coughed all over it
• Retail meat sales up 77 percent
• Brentwood launches 'Open for Takeout' to support local restaurants
• Scientists skipped clinical trials of malaria drug after past coronavirus outbreaks
• As Trump's poll numbers rise, networks begin censoring press briefings
• Biden keeps lying about Trump's response to coronavirus
• Pompeo uses 'Wuhan virus' label to counter Chinese disinformation
• Chicago mayor threatens arrest for people who go outside
• News media come in dead last in Gallup poll on response to virus
• How the NBA is planning to save its season
• Comey lied when he said the FBI had examined all Hillary emails on Weiner's computer
• DOJ charges Maduro with drug trafficking, offers $15 million reward
• Joe Biden accused of sexual assault by former staffer
• DOJ sides with female athletes who don't want to compete with biological males
• Join Coach Scott from LT360 for a Facebook Live seminar on how to stay healthy at home

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 25, 2020

• Full text of coronavirus stimulus bill has not been released
• Who qualifies for the $1,200 checks?
• The good, the bad, and the ugly of the coronavirus bill
• Coronavirus update for Tennessee
• Over 90 percent of people tested in TN tested negative
• Is the coronavirus as deadly as they say?
• 80 percent of test kits given to Czechs by Chinese give faulty results
• FBI agent Robert Levinson dies in Iranian custody
• My Pillow will make masks for hospitals
• Trump and Dem guvs get along amazingly well
• 'Coronavirus party' attendee tests positive
• Kid who licked toilets in 'coronavirus challenge' ends up in hospital
• Man who posted video of himself licking toiletries at Walmart arrested
• NV guv outlaws the use of malaria drug to treat COVID-19
• Pensacola mayor donates salary to pay residents' electric bills
• KY mayor has blunt message for residents
• Ethnicity, genetics could play a role in coronavirus deaths
• Abortion providers defy state ban on elective surgeries
• Fox News town hall with Trump highest rated in town hall history
• Prince Charles has it
• Italian nurse kills herself after testing positive
• NJ men arrested for using drones to drop contraband into a prison

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 24, 2020

• Pelosi folds
• But not really. She comes back with more nonsense
• Majority dissatisfied with Congress' response to coronavirus
• Trump wants U.S. opened by Easter
• Gov. Cuomo agrees with loosening restrictions
• China lifting travel ban on Wuhan
• Asian CBS reporter says Trump urging people not to blame Asians was racist
• Dow rallies
• More Americans approve of Trump than the media
• Reckless media blame Trump for idiot who drank fish tank cleaner
• Gov. Cuomo refused to buy more ventilators in 2015, opting instead for rationing
• New Yorkers escaping to FL must self-quarantine for 14 days
• BernMe will stay in the race
• Snaps at reporter for getting too close
• YouTube reducing video quality because of Internet traffic
• Security experts concerned coronavirus could lead to more government spying

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 23, 2020

• FL man says malaria drug touted by Trump saved his life
• Dems torpedo coronavirus bill over green energy, union goodies
• Rep. Dan Crenshaw rips Schumer
• Stocks take another beating over Congress's indecision
• Stockpile of masks was depleted under Obama and never restocked
• Obama rallies support for Obamacare during coronavirus crisis
• FDA relaxes rules to boost auto companies making ventilators
• These states have implemented stay-at-home orders
• China hid more than 43,000 cases of coronavirus, report says
• China escapes scrutiny from our news media
• Rand Paul first senator to test positive
• Fellow senators blast Paul for interacting with colleagues while waiting results of test 
• Pelosi's nasty daughter says, 'Rand Paul's neighbor was right' celebrating attack on senator
• Amy Klobuchar's husband has coronavirus
• Phil Valentine column: Economy will look quite different when this is over
• Summer Olympics postponed a year

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 13, 2020

• Trump declares national emergency
• Deal reached on coronavirus stimulus
• Google partners with government to help locate testing kits
• Stock market rebound
• Bitcoin loses half its value in two days
• Coronavirus: Facts vs. Panic
• State Department has stern words with Chinese ambassador after claim US started pandemic
• Cases in TN rise to 26
• Taiwan only had 49 cases of coronavirus, 1 death
• Italy's death toll climbs to 1,266
• NY Times writer angry at Trump for blaming China
• China threatens to withhold lifesaving meds from U.S.
• Mayor's executive order includes possible ban on guns, ammo
• American Airlines will continue to fly to Europe for another week
• Trump demands Fed lower interest rate amid coronavirus fears
• Louisiana delays next month's presidential primary
• All the athletes and celebrities who've tested positive
• KFC suspends 'finger lickin' good' slogan
• Women horrified that men never wash after using the bathroom
• U-Haul offering free storage to stranded college students
• Houston drivers can skip paying tolls because of coronavirus
• An 'inebriated' Andrew Gillum found in hotel room with suspected overdose victim
• Bill Gates leaves Microsoft
• Nation of Islam follower: 'I just found some white men to kill'
• Woman who reportedly had flings with Matt Lauer and Charlie Rose is missing
• US Soccer Federation apologizes for truth about differences in sexes in legal brief
• OMG! 'Climate change' is causing bars to come out of hibernation early

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 12, 2020

• US hits Iran-backed group that hit Iraq base
• Chinese diplomat accuses U.S. Army of creating Wuhan coronavirus
• Acosta spreading Chinese propaganda
• Fed to inject $1.5 trillion to calm the markets
• Pelosi tried to insert federal abortion funding into coronavirus bill
• NCAA cancels basketball tourney
• Disneyland closes
• Concerts canceled at Schermerhorn
• Leahy berates the HUD secretary over the coronavirus
• Tom Hanks, wife have coronavirus
• NY banning gatherings over 500
• Broadway shuts down all productions
• Italian death toll passes 1,000
• Italy prioritizing young patients over old
• McConnell cancels recess
• Joe Biden says Trump should be doing what he's already doing
• Dr. Drew blasts media coverage of coronavirus
• Liberal tech site says Trump should resign
• Judge orders Alex Jones to stop selling his coronavirus-fighting toothpaste
• Judge orders release of Bradley Manning
• Twice-deported illegal charged with raping woman in MD
• Gloria Allred sues school for sending coughing Asian kid to nurse
• Lawmaker trying to stop drag queen story time gets death threats

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 11, 2020

• Weinstein gets 23 years
• FBI's Russia collusion case fell apart in first month of Trump presidency, memos show
• WHO calls coronavirus a pandemic
• No fans at NCAA tournament
• Rubio urges Trump to use federal loans to reduce reliance on Chinese medical supply chain
• Ga. guv sends coronavirus patients to Hard Labor Creek
• Three Disneyland Paris workers test positive
• AOC says avoiding Chinese restaurants is 'straight-up racism'
• FAIR: No Ban Act endangers public safety, national security
• Jeff Sessions still backs Trump agenda even after he endorses opponent
• Trump's 'stay in Mexico' policy can stay in place while it goes through courts
• Prince Harry falls for 'Greta' prankster, says Trump has 'blood on his hands'
• Hysterical meteorological group says we're running out of time on climate change
• U.S. Soccer Federation argues men's teams require 'higher level of skill'

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 10, 2020

• FISA judge says FBI lied to obtain warrants
• Judge allows House Dems to see deleted portions of Mueller report
• Omar says calling it 'Chinese coronavirus' is racist
• Flashback: China opens lab experimenting with pathogenic microorganisms in Wuhan
• All major insurance companies in TN will cover cost of coronavirus testing
• Memphis parents spray children with disinfectant
• Unhinged woman slugs Asian woman for not wearing mask
• Coronavirus mortality rate by age group
• Trump pitches 0 percent payroll tax for rest of year
• Mark Meadows self-quarantines
• How Patient Zero in Seattle spread the virus
• Hunter Biden says coronavirus preventing him from attending child support deposition
• Biden tells auto worker 'you're full of sh**'
• Biden now has 99 percent chance of winning nomination
• Suspicious dealings involving Biden's brother
• Biden and BernMe cancel rallies
• Man claims self-defense in deadly Nashville apartment shooting
• Elon Musk: Graduating college 'not needed'

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 9, 2020

• Dow closes down 2,000 points in largest daily point loss ever
• Oil prices drop as an indirect result of coronavirus
• Coronavirus vaccine could be in the works
• Ted Cruz self-quarantines after contact with coronavirus victim
• More members self-quarantine, Congress set to close over coronavirus
• Most U.S. deaths have been the elderly
• DC priest with coronavirus shook over 500 hands
• Italy's death toll approaches 500
• Extends travel restrictions to entire country
• How does coronavirus compare to the flu?
• Trump not curtailing activity, much to the chagrin of the media
• News media latch on to new talking point: Why isn't Trump panicked?
• CNN has flight attendant on as expert on national coronavirus readiness
• Ireland cancels all St. Patrick's Day parades
• Head of port authority in New York/New Jersey has tested positive
• MO father whose daughter tested positive took other daughter to school function
• Jim Cramer blasts Trump for playing golf in the middle of "crisis"
• Arcade owner fills toy grabber with hand sanitizer and toilet paper
• Anvil Joe already choosing cabinet members
• Man accused of looting Nashville tornado area
• Man staying at storm shelter drugged, sexually abused two storm victims
• New 'Nashville Strong' mural emerges
• U.S. begins withdrawal from Afghanistan
• Jesse endorses BernMe
• 32 states have proposed making Daylight Saving Time permanent
• Steve Jobs' widow—worth $27.5 billion—says it's wrong to accumulate massive amounts of wealth

Daily Show Prep - Friday March 6, 2020

• Jobs, jobs, and more jobs
• Trump campaign sues CNN for libel
• Pence says 21 have tested positive on the Grand Princess cruise ship off Ca.
• Why is there a run on toilet paper?
• Sen. Johnson ramping up investigation of Hunter Biden
• Romney now appears to be a yes on Burisma probe
• SXSW conference cancelled because of coronavirus
• 15-year-old girl beaten and robbed by gang of thugs in NYC
• DOJ IG says FBI failed to address problems detecting homegrown terrorism
• MO man sentenced to 19 years for plotting ISIS attack
• TX museum director hope everybody who votes Republican 'dies today'
• Chicago mayor defends freeing illegal who then sexually assaulted 3-year-old girl
• Trump nominates black military general to lead Air Force
• Flynn to withdraw guilty plea
• Trump's Super Tuesday performance trounced Obama's in 2012
• Dennis Miller is now working for the Ruskies
• FL bar offers 'owl shots' for women on creepy dates

Daily Show Prep - Thursday March 5, 2020

• What? Elizabeth Warren drops out?
• Elizabeth Warren wasted over $89 million on presidential campaign
• BernMe says he'll drop out if Biden has more delegates by convention even if not a majority
• TN has first case of coronavirus
• Vandy student tests positive, but is not in Nashville
• Dean Koontz's 1981 thriller about weaponized virus is bestseller again
• New James Bond film release delayed until November
• Romney could block Senate Burisma investigation
• Another illegal criminal released by a sanctuary city
• Bojangles in Charlotte locks out Trump supporters
• SCOTUS rules illegals can't steal IDs
• Cruz says Schumer should be censured for 'judicial intimidation'
• Corey Feldman gets set to name names in upcoming doc on Hollywood pedophiles
• Actor says 'kids are ready' for genderless fairy godmother in Cinderella remake
• 'Save Women's Sports Act' passes AZ House
• Bill Clinton now says his affair with Monica was to 'manage my anxieties'
• Police violently arrest man for smoking pot
• Australian newspaper prints extra pages to help with toilet paper shortage

Daily Show Prep - Wednesday March 4, 2020

• Bloomberg out
• Trump taunts
• Liz is a leaner
• BernMe speaks
• James Carville thinks Rep. Clyburn of SC saved the Dem Party
• Damage at Tune airport exceeds $90 mil, and that doesn't count the planes
• Cruz, Cornyn want to know why patient who tested positive for coronavirus was released by CDC
• Hong Kong coronavirus patient's dog infected
• Obama-era rule lifted by Trump to allow states to test for coronavirus in state labs
• London's mayor claims 'no risk' of catching coronavirus on public transport
• Coronavirus could be two diseases rather than just one
• WHO warns about using contaminated cash
• Stocks continue to recover from overreaction to coronavirus
• Italy plans to ban kissing to combat coronavirus
• Sessions, Tuberville head to run-off in AL senate race
• Trump blasts Sessions
• Pentagon linguist charged with espionage for passing secrets to terrorist group
• U.S. conducts airstrike on Taliban soldiers just days after signed agreement
• Peace deal ain't goin' so good
• Chuck Schumer threatens SOTUS justices
• Chief Justice Roberts responds
• Here's what Chuck is so upset about
• Rabbi warns without Christianity America is doomed
• Ga. bill aims to make it legal to brandish a weapon to de-escalate a situation
• Just 3 out of 260 Harvard faculty members plan to vote for Trump
• Public college in Ca. offering voice lessons to help transgender students sound like their 'gender identity'
• Gender-neutral bathroom closed after man exposes himself
• More mothers are throwing their daughters 'period parties'
• Coronavirus-themed porn is going viral

Daily Show Prep - Tuesday March 3, 2020

• 22 confirmed dead in TN tornadoes
• Drone footage of East Nashville
• Drone footage of Germantown
• Denver councilwoman threatens to contaminate Trump supporters with coronavirus if she gets it
• Student whose classmates shook Mike Pence's hand is in quarantine for possible coronavirus
• Trump campaign sues WashPo over Russia hoax
• Donna Brazile tells RNC chairmen to 'go to hell'
• Biden promises to put Beto in charge of gun control
• Comey endorses Biden, Biden's campaign rejects it
• Sen. Paul says don't use FISA on Americans
• AOC's communications director unexpectedly quits
• Spike Lee throws a celebrity fit over being told to use a different elevator

Daily Show Prep - Monday March 2, 2020

• Stock market bounces back with best one-day point gain on record
• Ukrainian court orders probe of Biden's demand to have top prosecutor fired
• Buttigieg, Klobuchar out, throw support to Biden
• SC primary results
• GOP raises $86 million in February
• Five people have no died from coronavirus
• First case confirmed in NYC
• Could coronavirus hit California's homeless population?
• Masks may actually increase your coronavirus risk
• Air pollution over China has decreased during coronavirus scare
• 9 times the media weaponized coronavirus fear to attack Trump
• Chris Matthews resigns from 'Hardball'
• DHS whistleblower found dead of gunshot wound
• Flashback: Haney said DHS ordered him to scrub records of Muslims with terrorist ties
• Republicans seek subpoena against Hunter Biden's associates
• Pro-Trump Mexican restaurant owners say they won't be bullied
• Black GOP senate candidate says Republicans need to improve their messaging
• Chicago mayor defends sanctuary city policy after illegal released by police rapes 3-year-old
• Apple will pay $500 million for slowing down older iPhones
• Never Trumper buying up shares of Twitter
• Spielberg's daughter arrested in Nashville
• No evidence full-fat dairy is bad for kids
• Guest: Comedian Lou Perez takes on the myth of Sweden's Democratic Socialism