Daily Show Prep - Thursday April 4, 2019

• Trump gives Mexico one year to stop illegals, drugs
• ICE makes biggest illegal immigration bust in a decade
• Unemployment hits 50-year low
• Target raises minimum wage to $13 in tight labor market
• Rand Paul says he won't approve release of Mueller report until he gets info on Steele dossier
• DOJ hits back against newspaper reports that say Trump's in more trouble than AG says
• JPMorgan says Trump tax law added $3.7b to profits
• Trump mocks Dems for only demanding 6 years of tax returns
• Judge Nap says fight for Trump's tax returns will likely end up in court
• Rep. Omar pushes for release of jailed Muslim Brotherhood leader
• CNN covers up analyst's tie to Qatar
• Author: Biden's son made millions from Ukraine energy company while Joe funneled almost $2b to Ukraine
• Beto paid $110,000 in consulting fees to his own company
• Nearly half of American men think gender pay gap is made up...because it is
• AOC puts together furniture, eats snacks, and rants on global warming
• Ecuador says Julian Assange will be turned over the UK to be arrested
• Bad diet more dangerous than smoking
• TDS: Hysterical woman goes off on man in MAGA hat
• Public radio host loses his job over comment to guest, "You look great"
• Black conservative called 'nigga' on Twitter told tweet does not violate Twitter's standards
• George Mason students want Justice Kavanaugh's invitation to teach rescinded
• In strange story, boy who claims to be missing boy is not him
• Man identifies as dog
• Drunk pals took turns shooting each other while wearing bullet-proof vests
• Man admits that ghost did not plant meth in his home
• New discovery suggests 'father of America cavalry' was actually a woman
• Shoplifter caught stuffing chainsaw down his pants
• Aussie politician pops guy who cracks an egg on his head